Monday, March 31, 2008

Toobie, Or Not Toobie

Well, it looks like the reports of his freedom may be greatly exaggerated. Authorities today announced that before releasing suspected armed robber and car thief Elton "Toobie" Phillips, they will be interviewing Phillips' mother and suspected aunt. After appearing on WDSU Channel 6 News last week, the ladies have caught the interest of prosecutors for comments they made to Travers Mackel.

Carolyn Jackson, Phillips' suspected aunt, told Mackel that Elton confessed to "robberin'." I say suspected because she now claims that she is not his aunt. In fact, she now says she's not related to him at all. Jackson now claims that she met Phillips only once, in Hammond where she lives, and where Phillips fled after being mistakenly released in December, 2007. Her current claim is that Phillips confessed to "general wrong-doing" while they were praying together.

Phillips mother, Kim Wicker, stated that her son didn't tell here he did it, but he didn't say he didn't do it either. The AG's office has asked for a week long continuance to investigate both women's stories.

3 comments:

M Styborski said...

Wow Adam. That was so insightful! You really hit the nail on the head! Your incredible grasp of the situation has no doubt enlightened my readers to the fact that you're a shit-for-brains blog spammer hoping to get a few clicks for whatever pyramid-scam-porn-site it is that you work for.

I think you missed your life's true calling. Instead of being a moral drain on the world's collective psyche, you could have better served humanity as an infant stem cell donor. It's not too late though; there's still time to put your head in an oven, (remember, gas, not electric,) and donate the remains to medical science. With any luck your DNA can help doctors isolate the 'useless' gene, and we can begin culling assbags like you from the gene-pool. Keep up the good work!

Yours, with love
M

M Styborski said...

Oh for fuck's sake! Another mental giant. Listen up Hair Transplant, (If that is your real name,) while I'm all for the Glorious International Coming Together In Peace And Harmony and all that crap, this is an English speaking blog. Try again. Can't you even find someone to translate decently? Find yourself a Babel Fish before you strike again.

Thanks for the hug.

Odd said...

oooohhhh Styb got spammed....

as for the post - the dude walked, though I'm sure he won't be walking for long....