Wednesday, October 15, 2008
This just in: US VP Ricardo 'Dick' Cheney has canceled all plans today due to an atrial fibrillation in his heart. This is not, we repeat NOT, a heart attack. It is the technical term for an erratic heartbeat. Sources are divided on the cause. Cheney spokesmen infer that it is Invisible Dick's small attempt at showing solidarity with the erratic campaign strategy of John McCain. Democrats however have released a statement that the fibrillation began when Cheney was informed that Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama was in fact an African-American and not a Muslim terrorist. The prayers of the Nation of Morons are with the Cheney family today, just as they were way back when he shot that guy in the face.