Monday, June 25, 2007

Justice Is Almost Served

Remember Roy Pearson? The scumbag who sued an immigrant drycleaner for 54 million dollars over a pair of pants? (Come on folks, try hard.) Well, he lost, and there was much rejoicing.

From District of Colombia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff:

"Based on the foregoing, the Court finds that the plaintiff is not entitled to any relief whatsoever on his claims under the CPPA, Counts One and Four of his Amended Complaint. The Court's analysis of the plaintiff's CPPA claims applies as well to his claims of common law fraud in Count Two of the Amended Complaint. The plaintiff acknowledges that he is required to prove those claims by clear, convincing and unequivocal evidence. He has not proven those claims by a preponderance of the evidence, let alone by that higher standard. Judgment therefore will be awarded to the defendants, as well as their costs."

Unfortunately, in spite of a clear majority of opinion, he has also been re-appointed to his judgeship. Incredibly, someone, somewhere, believes this dillhole has the appropriate mental faculties to preside over other peoples legal concerns. Now I know this news will leave some of you with mixed feelings, and rightfully so. It's nice to know that the Chungs will be able to continue in pursuit of the American Dream, (their court costs are about $1000, no information on whether they'll sue to recover the tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees this has cost them,) but unsettling to know that Roy will be in control of other peoples legal lives.

It just makes me wish there was some way to tell this guy what I really think of him. For instance, if I knew that his mailing address was Roy L Pearson, Jr, 3012 Pineview Ct NE, Washington, DC 20018-1617, I could write him a letter. Or if I knew that his phone number was (202) 269-1191, I could call and leave my two-cents on his answering machine. I can't even e-mail him since I don't know his e-mail address is Oh well, I guess there's nothing I can do. So it goes.

You Find A Leather Bound Book...

It's coming folks... Cthulu: the Movie. Starring no-one you've ever heard of, including Tori Spelling. From Grant Gogswell's blurb on IMDB: A Seattle history professor, drawn back to his estranged family on the Oregon coast to execute his late mother's estate, is reaquainted with his best friend from childhood, with whom he has a long-awaited tryst. Caught in an accelerating series of events, he discovers aspects of his father's New Age cult which take on a dangerous and apocalyptic significance.

Wow. He makes me feel like I'm really there! Sarcasm aside, the trailer adds nothing to the above description except a certain feeling of impending doom on an otherwise normal day, which if you're familiar with HP Lovecraft, is pretty much par for the course until the ground opens at your feet and you're swallowed whole by a really big kraken-like elder god. It does show part of what appears to be a sex scene with Ms Spelling though, so I'll be praying for the ground to open soon.

Folks have been bringing Lovecraft to the screen for half a century with mixed results. OK, with pretty damn poor results. (Bride of Reanimator, anyone?) I gotta admit, it looks good so far. The mood and settings are on track and the casting is about as good as you're likely to get for something in this vein. It's got to be better than the Night Gallery adaptations, right? Right?? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

And You Thought Motion Sickness Was Bad...

Found this while looking through a collection of World War II posters. It's a nice little piece of our history from "simpler" times. Remember this next time you decide to tell your friends about your upcoming cruise...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Disregard This Post

I just saw Boobah in High-Definition. If you thought it was freakish in analog, try it out. The bigger the screen, the better!

The Jeffersons

Oh we movin' on up, to the east side...

Certainly one bad apple don't spoil the whole damn bunch, but in the case of the Jefferson family, the bunch may have been spoiled to begin with. I really hate to call negative attention to New Orleans, (yet again,) but my calling is quite clear. After doing a little digging through the Times-Picayune, I collected a few tidbits which I'd now like to share, but get the Alka-Selzer out, what follows is not for the weak of stomach.

US Representative William Jefferson is currently under indictment for 16 counts of bribery, racketeering, fraud and obstruction of justice in a case which has already seen two of his cronies plead guilty. This would be the iGate deal in which Jefferson allegedly used his official clout to broker deals in Africa. Despite the fact that Jefferson was caught on tape soliciting a bribe and was found with $90,000 of that money squirrelled away in his freezer, (which he has yet to "rationally explain" as he promised,) an amazing number of his constituents refuse to believe he is guilty, instead opting for all manner of explanations from "political witch-hunts" to racism. Indeed, his constituents are so enamored of him, he easily coasted to a recent re-election victory over opponent Karen Carter even though her funds outweighed his at a ratio of 4.5 to 1. (Jefferson had slightly over 50% of the vote. Of course, only about 20% of the registered voters bothered to go to the polls.)

According to documents, Bill Jefferson made sure that not only he profited from his office, but his family as well. The indictment lists "Family Members 1-5" as beneficiaries of his supposed shady dealings, one of which is thought to be Andrea Jefferson, Bill's wife and manager of ANJ Group LLC which reportedly received money from the iGate deal. Andrea made headlines back in 1994 when she was paid $50,000 by Grambling State University to teach a class which had a grand total of one student. She also sued Southern University in 2003 for firing her from a top position. Part of the settlement was a job as a fundraiser which paid $72,000/year and it is rumoured that hubby Bill used his local clout to arrange the settlement.

The indictment also indicates that his brother Mose (referred to as "Family Member 2") was also part of the scheme. Mose Jefferson has recently been linked to a bribery scheme involving Ellenese Brooks-Sims, former New Orleans School Superintendant, who entered a guilty plea concerning $140,000 dollars in bribe money she received from Mose, a former cog in Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's political outfit. (And we all know what a shining example of political incorruptability that outfit was.)

But like Bill, Mose knows how to take care of the family too. Mose is the head of BEP Consulting which owns an eight unit building in Central City. This building houses the "unofficial" HQ of Bill's political group, the Progressive Democrats, the office of former city council-whore Renee Gill Pratt and some of the Jefferson families other "non-profit" organizations. Ownership of the building has been shuffled between many of the Jefferson's through the years, each time being sold for just $10,000. Care Unlimited, one of the Jefferson's pet projects housed in the building, has received millions of dollars in state grants thanks to Gill-Pratt who is also a former (or possibly current) girlfriend of Mose and former aide to Bill. One of the units in the building is rented out for 21,000 taxpayer dollars per year, (twice the cost the building was purchased for by BEP,) to current state rep Jalila Jefferson-Bullock, daughter of Bill.

But wait... there's more!

Yet another sister, Betty, was helped to the tax assessors office by Bill and his political groups. Soon after winning the job in 1998, she slashed the taxes on a 27 unit apartment building owned by brother Bill to almost nothing. Betty and Mose also garnered criticism in trying to profit from a deal involving school uniforms in 1989 when she sat on the New Orleans School Board but no wrongdoing was found.

Not related by blood, but by marriage, (and possibly by deed,) Bill's brother-in-law, former state judge Alan Green, is currently serving a four-year sentence for accepting bribes from a bail bonds company in Jefferson Parish.

And some time back, Bill inked a deal with Daimler-Chrysler to donate 16 automobiles to the city for help in recoving from Hurricane Katrina. Although the vehicles were signed over to the New Orleans City Council, most were then handed back to "non-profit" organizations run by Jefferson family members or associated with the Jefferson political machine. In fact, at least four of the autos were donated by then current councilwoman Renee Gill-Pratt. (Remember her?) She sent two of the autos to Care Unlimited, one of which she had been using as her personal vehicle until she was caught. Soon after her defeat in the last election she was hired by, (take a guess,) Care Unlimited, where she has resumed use of her shiny new auto. Luckily, the money still rolls into Care Unlimited thanks to generous help from Jalila Jefferson Bullock who now sits in the legislative seat once held by Gill-Pratt.

The FBI is currently investigating organizations for- and non-profit connected to the Jefferson camp, including the Central City Adult Education Agency, N.O. Drug Education Intervention, Care Unlimited Inc., and Orleans Metropolitan Housing and Community Development Incorporated. One has to wonder how many worms you have to uncover in a basket of apples before you realize that they're all rotten. Why has no-one ever put all this together before? Surely New Orleans District Attorney Eddie Jordan is smart enough to connect the dots. Oh, but then Eddie is a close and personal friend of Bill. In fact, Bill was instrumental in furthering Jordan's career. Jordan, likewise, is a staunch supporter of Jefferson. Fucking Scumbags.

From the cotton fields of Lake Providence, (where Bill and his siblings were born and raised,) to REMCO, (a rent-to-own company owned by the family which faced continual tax problems,) to the slumlord years of the 80's, (Bill's housing units were some of the most distressed in the city and were plagued by tax problems,) and to Harvard and law firms, (yes, more tax woes,) political organizations and Capitol Hill, life has been a strange road for the Jefferson family. The family farm on Jefferson Road, (yes, named after the family,) in Lake providence no longer stands, destroyed ages ago by a tornado. The cemetery where his parents are buried lies along the road amid the cotton fields they once worked, but at the end of Jefferson Road there's a very foreboding structure. Surrounded by fences and razorwire stands the Lake Providence Jail. Now that's irony for you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

One-Hundred Billion

This is the number in dollars that Recovery Director Ed Blakely says we need to fix the City of New Orleans. This includes buildings, streets, levees, sewers and infrastructure, churches and schools. (No mention of how much goes to line local pockets.) The debate has just started on whether Blakely's estimates are accurate or if he's just mouthing off again and has lost his perspective. Regardless, that's a lot of freaking cabbage. So much that I thought I'd run through a list of what that could buy...

One-third of the War On Terror. (To date.)


17 Louisiana Road Home Programs. (But then you'd automatically need another 54 to 85 billion dollars. Let's make that 10 then.)

60 YouTube.coms (with plenty left over for popcorn.)

67 Oprah Winfreys. (How would that be for a small slice of Hell?)

100 re-makes of Warren Beatty's "Reds," adjusted for inflation. (By contrast you can buy 5 billion copies of the DVD at your local video store or 7.15 billion copies from

600 Presidential candidate fields for 2008. (All candidates from all parties, based on current campaign fund coffers)

750 Louisiana Superdomes. (And Tom Benson could finally shut the fuck up about a new stadium.)

1,852 Pairs of Roy Pearson's pants. (Up from 1,538 since he reduced his lawsuit.)

6,667 Red Hot Fantasy jewel encrusted bra & panty sets from Victoria's Secret. (Christmas is coming fellas...)

13,334 FEMA trailer parks, 200-lot average. (More or less, depending on location and contractor padding costs. Note, for some reason each 200-lot park is only capable of housing 15-80 families.)

714,286 favors from former New Orleans School Superintendent Ellenese Brooks-Sims. (Ironically enough, the first favor was bought by Mose Jefferson, brother of our next subject...)

One-million favors from (current) LA Congressman William Jefferson. (But you'd better hurry.)

30-billion pounds of crawfish. (Keep in mind you'll need some extra cash for the Zatarains and boiling fixins.)

Well over 33 billion gallons of gasoline. (At 25 mpg, this will take you about 825 billion miles. That's roughly 448 million round-trips from New Orleans to Pittsburgh.)

Now that's some perspective.

Meanwhile today on "Ellen," her very special guest is Hugh Grant. Todays topic will be "Remember 10 years ago when we were almost relevant?"

UPDATE: According to WDSU, my initial source on this, they now say it's only one-hundred million dollars. Whatever. The list is still pretty good, just do your own math.

Keep Yer Pants On!

This is an updated version of an earlier post.

Just when I think I can take some time off they drag me back in! Ladies and Gentles, please join me in welcoming, a so-so human being, not much of a humanitarian, and brother this cat was never no-bodys friend, in his debut appearance in the Nation of Morons, Judge Roy Pearson! The man whose idea of a good time is suing immigrant dry-cleaners for lost trousers to the tune of sixty-five million dollars! I'm assuming they were really big pants in order to fit his gargantuan balls into them!

In a nutshell, soon after becoming an administrative hearings judge in the District of Columbia, Pearson brought in several suits to Custom Cleaners, owned by Ji Nam, Ki and Soo Chung, for alterations. When he came to pick the suits up one pair of slacks was missing. He demanded the Chungs pay him $1000 dollars, the cost of the suit, but one week later the slacks were found and the Chungs refused to pay, opting instead to return the pants to Judge Pearson.

Well guess what? Pearson refused to accept the tardy trousers, (they've been hanging in the Chungs lawyers office for over a year but Pearson claims they are not his,) and continued litigation on the basis of two signs hanging in the store. "Same Day Service" and "Satisfaction Guaranteed." Hey Roy, don't you understand that "Same Day Service" doesn't apply to every service provided? If you think you're going to have multiple suits altered in one day you must be more mentally impaired than I think. As far as the other sign, "Satisfaction Guaranteed," that's an ad slogan along the lines of "Number One Film in The Country" and "Land Of The Free And Home Of The Brave." It doesn't mean anything. Grow up you whiny fuck! The world is not here to cater to your every personal whim and desire.

Oh, my apologies dear readers. Perhaps you think I'm being a trifle harsh towards Judge Roy. Let's delve further into the case, shall we? Yes, we shall.

Pearson has been using Custom Cleaners on a regular basis even though he has had multiple disagreements with the Chungs. It's only four blocks from his house. The Chungs have made three offers to Pearson of $3000, $4600 and $12,000 only to have their offers fall on deaf ears. Apparently Pearson thinks being a judge means never having to accept "I'm sorry."

Furthermore, $15,000 of the lawsuit is earmarked for a rental car to take his buisiness to another cleaner for the next 10 years. What the fuck? Since when does the Constitution of the United States guarantee you the inalienable right to a fucking convenient drycleaner? The majority of the 65 million is calculated from Pearsons' overzealous interpretation of the Districts consumer protection law. It's only a $1500 violation per day, but Pearson has added up 12 separate violations, multiplied them by over three years worth of days and then multiplied that figure by three defendants. What a complete cunt! There is so much wrong with that, not the least of which is by suing the buisiness, you can't multiply by each defendant! How in the name of Sandra Day O'Connor did you ever get through law school, much less pass the bar!

District of Columbia Judge Neal Kravitz is set to hear the case on June 11th and has stated that this is simply a case of one plaintiff and one pair of pants. Thank god for rational human beings. Other groups and individuals in the area have gathered forces in a flood of support for the Chungs who are so distraught they are thinking of returning to their native South Korea. I can only hope the Chungs are exonerated and reimbursed for their troubles and money so far lost from the case. It's impossible to expect every American to be rational, compassionate and forgiving, but shouldn't we at least expect that of our judges?

As for Pearson, the calls are coming from all corners for his immediate disbarment and he is up for review for a 10-year renewal for his judgeship. I don't know about you, but I sincerely hope stoning or caning is brought back into fashion as punishment for filing these kinds of frivolous lawsuits. And I hope they start with Judge Roy Pearson.

UPDATE: Last week, good ol' Roy took the stand and promptly burst into tears. Between sobs and snot wipes, he explained the mental anguish this whole affair has caused him. In fact, he became so apparently distraught that a recess had to be called. Since the initial posting Pearson has reduced his price to $54 million. How nice. He has also attempted to swing the center of the trial away from the pants in order to focus on the "misleading signs" posted in the Chungs store. Meanwhile, the Chung's lawyers are attempting to portray Pearson as a disturbed crank whose recent divorce has caused him financial troubles. I'd love to hear what Mrs Roy has to say on the whole subject.

Friday, June 15, 2007


Recently I joined a group called 24 Hours of Flickr. The purpose of this group was to take photos all day on 05/05/07, then submit your best shot to the group for possible publication in a book with Flickr donating a very small portion of the proceeds to charity. What a cool idea! What a fun project!

What a big joke!

Now the group thing centered around a single day is nothing new to Flickr. In fact, just before they started their clever 05/05/07 campaign, a friend of mine started 07/07/07 with the intent of publishing the best photos submitted in a book in which all profits would be donated to UNICEF. Coincedence? Probably, but hey, Flickr's a big place and there's always room in the world for a little charity. However, this is not the big issue here. The issue is censorship.

A member of the group, licht_faenger, posted a topic about censorship and why he was leaving the group. He had some nudes on his page that were marked as moderate content and they were unceremoniously deleted. He had a problem with the fact that there were much more explicit photos on Flickr marked as safe content which were still up for all to see. (I've since visited his site and the remaining nudes were well done and not offensive at all.) People started discussing the fact that since Flickr is now owned by Yahoo, who caters to foreign powers and censors their content. Yahoo's position is that they're at least bringing a little bit of the internet to the poor oppressed people of those nations, (Germany, South America, China and others.) Popular opinion is that Yahoo is simply doing whatever they can to make a quick buck from those nations while not providing full access to the web. (BTW, licht_faenger is German and seems to speak Google-Translated English. His ire was further spurred by the fact that the first book release party for 05/05/07 was held in Germany.)

Well it started to snowball as more members joined the discussions. Two more similar topics appeared and were going strong until last night when Heather, a Flickr staffer, (and as far as I can tell, the only Flickr staffer,) deleted the topics with no explanation. (Can you see the irony?) Someone else started a topic asking what happened to the original censorship topics and it was quickly locked, directing the poster to search elsewhere for censorship discussions. I myself posted a topic explaining that yes, the threads had been deleted by Heather. This too was deleted less than five minutes after I posted it!

Forgive me if I'm out of line here, but if group members want to discuss censorship, why not let them? About the same time the deletions occurred, the folowing appeared on the group page: Please note that issues off topic from the 24 hours of Flickr may be removed from the group discussions as there are more appropriate and official topics where you can share your feedback with the team. Really? here's a small sampling of topics which Flickr deems "group related:" Do You Believe In God, Have You Ever Been To Kerala, Help On Buying A Camera, Mac or PC, Join "Group X", plus an incredible amount of people posting photos which have nothing whatsoever to do with the group. You know, cats and strawberries, your favorite shot, etcetera. There are even two new groups started by group members: Photos In The Book and Photos Not In The Book. Hello? Just look at the original group photos!

At the risk of infuriating Flickr further, I posted a goodbye message: You Win. In light of recent events, I also shall be leaving the group. I'm sure you'll survive without me. I enjoyed many of the photos seen here and had a pretty good time up until yesterday. Good luck. Amazingly it still stands, (40 minutes and counting) but I'm sure it will disappear soon enough. No big deal, I'll continue to post photos to my site until they grow weary of me but I'll definitely think twice before joining another "Official" Flickr group.

I really wish I had saved those initial threads. Some good stuff in there. One member thought it was ridiculous to compare Flickr to Nazi Germany. Indeed it was. Flickr is much more like Vichy, France, except that flickr is not currently threatened with immediate death if it does not follow orders. The real Nazis are the countries which demand censorship by Yahoo. Sadly, Yahoo complies in order to keep that cash flowing in. Being stuck in the middle, I guess that makes Yahoo the Gestapo or the SS. I dunno, the whole thing just sickens me.

Well, the positive side is that I remembered licht_faengers name and was able to track down a few more of the individuals involved in the original discussion. As soon as this is posted, they will be invited to continue on and so are you. At least until Yahoo buys Google.

For more on the German censorship issue, check out this Wired article.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

International Space Debris

This week, NASA announced that the computers onboard the International Space Station have experienced multiple failures. Currently, the Russian-made computers are barely running and if astronauts are unable to get them back up to speed, the station is in danger of being shut down for the forseeable future. Already, lobbyists and other like-minded morons on Capitol Hill are calling for further reductions in NASA funding, citing this event as proof that we are wasting our time and money in space.

Guess again folks.

It's this sort of mentality that caused the problem in the first place. The more funding was cut from NASA, the more it had to rely on partnerships with other countries to complete missions. Had NASA been funded adequately, the space station would not be powered by the Trotsky 9000. It might even have been powered by Macs, or at the very least, a really big TI99-4a. Clean cut, ass-kicking, red, white and blue technology!

Perhaps Washington does not remember, but space exploration has provided us with, (or at the very least, sped up the development of) some pretty neat stuff. Thermal and fireproof clothing, advanced robotics, MRI technnology, smoke detectors, cordless tools, medical and pharmaceutical advances, invisible braces, Ear thermometers, gaming joysticks, and satellite dishes not to mention Space Food Sticks and Tang!

From the day John F Kennedy challenged us to aim for the moon, the United States had the strongest and most effective space program in the world. Right up to the Bicentennial when we started cutting the funding. Oh sure, we made a half-hearted effort to regain some lost ground with the Shuttle Program, but it has been pretty much downhill since then. Perhaps Hollywood has been so effective at crafting their own versions of outer space since the release of Star Wars, that the realities of space exploration pale by comparison.

What else is there to spend the money on? Health care? Welfare? Immigration? The War On Terror? None of those projects have increased quality of life in this or any other country yet. In fact, those programs continue to siphon tax dollars at an increasingly rapid rate and do nothing to address the issues they were funded for in the first place. Compare what those programs have accomplished to the list above and draw your own conclusions.

Maybe we should listen to the Luddites on Capitol Hill and sit around here on our little rock sticking berries up our noses until some freindly intergalactic race drops by and gives us all long range space cruisers complete with 2 terabyte i-pods. Personally, I think we might be better off if we did, but I can't help wondering how much more we'd be missing by not being out there.

By the way, NASA... have you tried Ctrl-Alt-Del?

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Paris & the Two Jeffersons

Three things I really need to get out of my head. Each should really have its own in-depth entry, but I tell ya, I'm just not in the freaking mood. Sometimes it gets to be a real drag when you're the only one that notices the emporers cock is hanging out. Oh well, I started it and I'll be damned if I won't keep it up.

Whew! What a relief! I thought for sure Paris Hilton would get shivved in the yard by the Aryans or something, but it looks like she's safely out of harms way. After serving just three days in stir, Hilton was released to the hard scrabble environs of her Hollywood Hills masion to serve out the remainder of her sentence. No comment was made by "authorites" other than to say the release was "due to an unspecified medical condition."

Yeah. She's a pain in the ass.

I'd ship her out too if I had her on my cell block. Can you imagine it? "It's cold in here! When's high tea? Can I get a TV? Why do you keep all the cells locked? Did anyone leave me any messages? Is my time up yet? What was on Oprah today?" This is simply good sense on the part of the "authorities" and the whole "Celebrity vs Joe Ordinary" debate it has spawned will eventually fade into history as will the skeletal human sperm receptacle known as Paris Hilton. (Though not soon enough for my taste.)

By the way, the current skinny on the "medical condition?" It's a tie between a full body rash and a nervous breakdown. Poor baby.

Jefferson One:
One "man" who's praying for the Hiltonian form of justice has got to be Congressman William Jefferson (D-New Orleans.) In hiding since his indictment a few days ago, Jefferson is in hotter water than the crawfish I 'berled' last weekend. Under 16 counts ranging from bribery and racketeering to wire fraud and obstruction of justice, Jefferson is facing over 200 years in prison if found guilty. Not only that, but he may actually be considered a flight risk as the Feds have frozen $500,000 in assets and 33 million shares of stock.

Now I'm one of those people who still believes in the concept of 'innocent until proven guilty,' but in Jeffersons case it's simply a matter of 'innocent until they get around to sentencing.' He had $90,000 in marked bills from a federal sting operation, (which Jefferson admits, was "a sting operation," as if stating that fact proves his innocence,) stuffed in his freezer, wrapped in foil, hidden in frozen food boxes. Two of his aides have already made guilty pleas connected to the case. Documents have been uncovered instructing that money from the Nigerian deal for which Jefferson is indicted be siphoned into accounts of five Jefferson family members, listed only as family members 1-5. Wow. That's brains there! Don't call them by name, but do mention that they're family!

Add to this the fact that Jefferson commanded the National Guard to drive him to his New Orleans home to recover personal property at the height of Hurricane Katrina's aftermath while residents were still dying at the Convention Center, (and ordered an airlift for himself once the National Guard truck became hopelessly stuck in the mud in front of his home,) and the fact that his brother-in-law was recently convicted in an unrelated bail-bonds scam in neighboring, ironically named, Jefferson Parish and you get a clear picture of the "man" known locally as "Dollar Bill" Jefferson.

While steadfastly denying any wrong doing, (Jefferson claims he never did anything detrimental to his constituents, a nice, selectively worded phrase,) he plans on running for office again as soon as this mess is cleared up. If he had any idea the damage he's done to the City of New Orleans he'd shut up, plea bargain for whatever he can get, and fade quietly into the woodwork, As it stands, he plans on fighting to convince a jury, a judge and the nation of his innocence and in doing so, runs the risk of dragging down his entire family along with the city he claims to love so much.

Jefferson Two:
The Jefferson Parish Council, (for you folks elsewhere, we have parishes instead of counties,) ramrodded a law which would allow the revocation of liquor licenses of bars which had an "incident of violence" 300 yards from the door of the establishment. Well if that's not some useless freaking legislation, I don't know what is. Council members were quick to add that there will be a review process to determine if a bar had any bearing on the violent acts in question, but this does nothing to quell the actions of violent morons across the parish.

All this does is create a long, drawn out process in which fines are collected, lawyers are paid, and buisiness owners are inconvenienced. It does absolutely nothing to deter crime! Why not raid the problem bars? If a bar continually has violent acts occurring in front of it, send in the stormtroopers! Here's a novel approach: patrol questionable areas with police officers! The Jefferson Parish council has made a move which looks like they're addressing crime issues, but in fact, they are simply passing the buck. It seems to me that if a violent act is comitted in Jefferson Parish, the council should lose their jobs, seeing as how they failed to keep the area crime free. That may sound stupid, but it's basically the same as blaming the bar owners.

This action comes on the heels of yet another shooting at Kenny's Key West, a bar which has been around longer than most incurable diseases. Kenny Vincent is legendary for spotting trends in the nightclub buisiness and eventually tailoring his venue to suit the fad. From disco to new wave to rock, Kenny's has always changed with the times and its recent incarnation as a hip-hop gangsta thugz paradise has apparently bitten the owner in the ass. Twice. This is the second shooting in just under a year at the club and will apparently be the last as Vincent has surrendered his liquor license under pressure from local authorities. And why not? He's made his millions. Why does he need the hassle? It's probably cheaper than finding the next trend and retooling.

However, this means that the gangsta thugz will have nowhere to 'partay' for awhile. That is, until they begin infiltrating other area bars and bringing their 'high-caliber' lifestyles to those establishments. Hmmm. But then that means more bars will begin losing licenses and be forced to shut down, and perhaps that's what this moronic law is all about: closing down the nightclubs. It's been tried many times before, but this time the council may have found a way to do it. It's enough to make one wonder how many council members have relatives and friends with designs on existing bars or the real estate they sit upon.

Perhaps Paris Hilton will tire of Hollywood and move here. She can buy Kenny's and hire Billl Jefferson to run it for her. It could become a nice little bar where local politicians meet to discuss how to avoid responsibility and compare secret bank accounts. Maybe they can spread some Boudreaux's Butt Paste on Paris to help with that rash. Stranger thing have happened.