Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Katrina Solution

I am here to defuse the conspiracy theorists ahead of time. The six nukes which were "accidentally" shipped to New Orleans via B-52 were not sent here to silence the detractors of the Bush Regime, nor were they sent here to blow the new levees during the next storm. I know many of you think this was a master-stroke of genius. What better way to rid the country of the eyesore that is the Lower Ninth Ward and the spectre of Hurricane Katrina victims who are still living in poison trailers waiting for their Federal Unlimited Cash for Katrina checks than to stage a good old "nukular" terror strike right here in the Big Easy.

Fortunately the First Ape isn't smart enough to think of that.

Sure, we all know the drill from countless Sci-Fi novels. People aren't getting along. Government fakes massive terror attack/alien invasion. People band together in the spirit of brotherhood. But as we also know, the First Ape won't (or can't) read so how would he know about that particular plan. Unless someone told him the plot of the upcoming Watchmen movie...

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