By now you've all heard the collective thud of Mitt Romney's wallet hitting the floor as he dropped his political trousers in defeat this week. (And you all thought it was New Orleans' collective ass relaxing after Mardi Gras!) This leaves only a handful of front-runners in the Presidential election and since I'm coming off a grand victory in predicting the New York Football Giants as winners in Super Bowl Forty-Two I thought I'd let you all know the outcome of this years election in advance.
History will be made as Barack Obama will become the first "African-American" to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office. (Not counting the plethora of butlers and maintenance men who planted their butts there in jest while working late nights while whitey was fast asleep!)
There, I said it. How can I be so sure? Well, for one thing, Hillary Clinton is dead in the water fund-wise. Like a collective husband married to a spendthrift, her core supporters are basically tapped out and unable to compete with the almost fanatical generosity of her chief rivals supporters. Obama simply has the Democratic nomination sewn up lock, stock and barrel but for the official word which will come soon enough.
Another sign is that the Clinton camp is the main source of rumours of a Clinton/Obama or Obama/Clinton ticket. The Obama camp, while not ruling anything out, tends to play off the rumours with a chuckle. A chuckle no doubt couched in the knowledge that Clinton is running scared and will do anything to keep Hillary's name in the same headlines relating to the Presidency.
But what about the Republicans, you ask? Well, there's not much to speak of there. Mike Huckabee plays well among the Religious Radicals and other splinter cells of what's left of the Republican Party but the Party itself has other commitments. (More on this later.) Ron Paul, my own favorite of those left in the running, is nothing more than a latter day Ross Perot with less money and more brains. Barring any major scandals from the McCain or Huckabee camps, Paul will keep surfing along powered by internet support until someone smart offers him the Veep position and that will more than likely be McCain unless Huckabee beats him to it.
Now about that Republican Party. I alluded that they have made other commitments and though I have no firm evidence, there is plenty circumstantially. Roll back with me to the 2004 election. Remember how John McCain was pouring on the steam and winning primary after primary? It was all the Republican Party could do to keep McCain from derailing a repeat for Georgie. He was almost in direct opposition with everything George Bush stood for and America was behind him.
Until he quit.
Suddenly McCain, at the height of popularity, retired from the race. Suddenly McCain threw his support wholeheartedly behind George Bush. Suddenly McCain agreed with George on all but the most minor issues. Suddenly McCain looked like he was taking one for the team. Or to put it in boxing terms; John McCain took a dive in the ninth.
Now I may be way off the mark here, but at the beginning of the 2008 race, (back in 2006,) McCain was a has-been, an also-ran. He was discounted by every media outlet in every market as someone who had absolutely no chance of gaining the Republican nomination. He was essentially treated as a likeable fellow, but a non-entity in the race for the Presidency, but here we are in 2008 and he's now the Republican media darling. How? Romney had the money. Giuliani had the popularity. Ron Paul had the Internet. What happened?
McCain has the Republican Party. It looks like stuffing your ideals in a sock and waiting your turn is paying off in huge dividends for Little John as the Republican Party is doing everything it can to assure him the 2008 nomination despite the outcry from hardline conservatives like Limbaugh and Hannity. And that's where the Republicans lose the election. The hardcore conservatives simply can't stomach McCain now any more than they could four years ago and the division his nomination will cause will be enough to send Obama to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the next four years and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Don't get me wrong... you can still vote, but the race is already over.
Congratulations Barack, make us proud! That's something Americans haven't been able to be since the 2000 election.