Wednesday, May 7, 2008

City Of Brotherly Lumps

Another police beating today in Philadelphia, PA. Two days ago an officer was shot to death on the mean streets of Philly, and some say that fueled this incident. Probably. Who knows. What is evident is the force used in the beating. Watch it here, I'll wait.

(Casually whistles Theme From Dragnet while waiting.)

Pretty obvious, huh? According to Fox 29, the three suspects were fleeing from a triple shooting. Other Fox sources claim drugs were involved, but how they know this I am unaware. What I am aware of is that generally, if you hit someone they will flinch. Flinching is a quick, jerking motion of the extremities which, in the past, has been called "fighting" by lawyers for other bullies in blue. "Looky thar, see how he's fightin' us? We hadda whomp on 'im."


If you beat on someone long enough and hard enough they will eventually stop cowering and do whatever it takes to get away from you. It's sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You beat, they flinch, you "misinterperet" and beat some more, they freak and try to escape or protect themselves, you beat harder. You get to take your aggression out on someone other than your wife. All fun and games until someone catches you. And in Philadelphia, someone did. There are 15 Philly cops off the job right now for acting like assholes. Good riddance. Got stress? See a fucking shrink, but don't take the law into your own hands.

Now before everyone starts berating me for being anti-cop, let me turn my attention to the three little suspects. You niggaz is stoopid. (And no, I'm not being racist, I'm being ghetto. They a diffrence, bi-otch!) First, if you're gonna sell drugs, do it in the privacy of a crack den or seedy bar. No one wants to see you digging rock outta the crack of your ass on da cornder. (Now do you know why they call it crack?) And for the love of Christ, stop motha-fuckin' poppin caps in people's motha fuckin' asses! It's not nice! And it leads to jail! How many bitches you know shot someone and ain't wanted, in jail, or dead? Exactly, homes!

Now I know you thugz ain't hearin' a word I say, but you best listen up, close, hear... the police will get you! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but they will find your sorry ass eventually so running is only going to cause you problems. Name one criminal, other than a politician, who 'got away with it.' Yeah, D.B. Cooper. And he was white. And he had a parachute. You got a parachute, homes?

Two things can happen when you run from the law. One is that you will go to jail tired with a whole mess of extra charges piled on your rap sheet. It happens all the time so just be a man, nut-up and take the collar. The other is that you might get the fuck beat out of you by gang of pissed off police, or worse. Take my word for it, the baloney sammiches are not any better in the infirmary.

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