Wednesday, September 3, 2008


So, now the entire Republican Party is of the opinion that teenage pregnancy is perfectly acceptable. It's a private matter to be handled by the family. Interesting. Apparently the evangelical right-wing blowhard party now condones underage sex as well as homosexuality and whore-mongering. Who'da thunk?

I'd like to ask a favor of all my Liberal buddies in the Big News Media regarding Bristol Palin and her brand new bundle of stem cells. Shut the fuck up already! The world is quite aware that she's pregnant. The world is quite aware that her mommy, presumptive Veep Sarah Palin, is opposed to sex education. You can draw your own conclusions. Rumours abound that Sarah's son, Track, was born out of wedlock as well. Perhaps it runs in the family. Who cares.

There are thousands of people out there saying, "If she can't control her kids, how can she control the country!" Please join the BNM and STFU as well. Sarah Palin is not Dick Cheney. If McCain manages to win the election, (he won't,) the vice-presidency will once again be a quiet little job consisting of funereal visits and mall openings.

Think about this: The Palins live in Alaska. Other than writing your name in the snow with urine, there's not a lot to do up there so I'm guessing sex is a popular pastime. And before you start whining about the whole underage thing, you better whoa-up and check your facts. The Age Of Consent in Alaska is sixteen, so even if that errant sperm found it's way to Bristol's womb before her seventeenth birthday, there's nothing illegal about it.

And the baby-daddy be takin' care of his bitness. The shotguns are cocked and the wedding is on. I'm sure all the finer Alaskan bridal stores are busy altering their dresses to maternity patterns in the hopes that they'll land the lucrative Palin wedding contract.

What I find interesting that the Republican Party is responsible for keeping Babygate alive. Most democrats are more concerned with silly issues like health care, the illegal war in Iraq, the nosediving economy and global warming. Babygate is a freaking blessing to republicans. "Hey! A distraction to how we've fucked up the country! Let's run with it!" Give me a break.

As I was drifting into the Land of Nod last night, there was an interview with some republican idiot, I don't recall the name, who was asked about Sarah Palin's lack of experience in matters of foreign policy. This clueless bint actually claimed that since Sarah Palin was the governor of the closest American land to Russia, she had plenty of foreign policy experience. Huh? My next door neighbor is a chef. Does that automatically qualify me to run a restaurant?

And these are the people you want running this country? Good luck with that.

For those of you still looking for a presidential candidate, I'll be here when you need me. including myself, I now have a grand total of five write-in votes spanning Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida and Pennsylvania. Just a few hundred thousand to go! And remember, my vice-president will be chosen from my supporters and I will move the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms and the DEA under his or her direct control. The job is VICE president, after all.

See you in Washington!

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