Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Holidays!

Dateline New Jersey:

A temp worker for Wal•Mart was crushed to death this morning as he opened his store for Black Friday shoppers. According to a co-worker, when the doors were unlocked, the rush of people actually tore the door off it's hinges and it fell on top of the temp worker. In the mad dash for bargains, greedy shoppers simply trampled over the door, killing the worker in the process.

Of course, there may be no way to tell which individuals are responsible. One can only hope that the store video surveillance has clear shots of the morons at the front of the line and police will be able to track them down and bring appropriate murder charges against them.

A statement released by Wal*Mart today mentioned that they take the security and safety of their customers very seriously. That's wonderful, but I notice it mentions nothing about the safety and security of their employees. You learn something new every day, eh?

To the bargain hunters responsible for this senseless murder, I certainly hope the holiday savings were worth the price of a human life.

Happy Holidays.


Anonymous said...

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M Styborski said...

Thank you Donald/Betty! (We at the Nation fully support the trans-gender lifestyle!)

What is it that you enjoy? The senseless death? The stupidity of Black Friday bargain hunters? The Wildeian wit with which I dispatch the clumsy louts which inhabit tha world? The free advertising space at the end of your comment?

I bet if you think about it really hard (and employ the use of a slide rule, a piece of string and some bubblegum,) you could nail it down.

Thank you for commenting!

d a r k c h i l d e said...


I support the transgendered wit and bargin-hunting alike.

And I promise not to advertise unrelated things at the end of my comment.