Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Fuck You And The Tax You Rode In On

Poor little uninsured children across the United States are about to become the recipients of one of the most massive tax increases in the history of this country. THe Federal Government is instituting a sixty-one cent tax on all cigarette packs sold in the US bringing the federal total to one dollar. The extra money is supposed to go to fund the SCHIP. Now, more than ever, people will have more incentive not to insure their children because they know someone else will be footing the bill for them.

Although the tax increase doesn't officially begin until April 1st, (how's that for an implementation date?) savvy retailers have already raised the prices of cancer sticks anywhere from fifty cents to a dollar. That's pure scumbag profit kids. That extra buck isn't going anywhere but in the retailers pockets and you're just forking it over like sheep.

But it doesn't end there. Manufacturers will be raising prices to offset the loss of revenue caused by the increased tax. Yeah, that makes good sense. By mid-summer we should all be paying an average of $7 per pack to feed our addiction. That is if we still continue to support the cancer merchants.

In Louisiana there is a contingent of politicians who know what's best for everyone and are attempting to add an additional eighty cent state tax to the mix which would push the per pack cost to well over eight dollars. Governor Bobby indal says he will veto the tax if it passes the legislature on the grounds that it will affect more poorer people and that's something he wishes to avoid during the Nation's current economic downturn.

Congratulations smoker haters! You have finally taken a huge step in eradicating tobacco from the general populace. You couldn't do it with your second-hand smoke studies, all of which have crumbled under close scrutiny. Finally you found something everyone loves: uninsured babies!! Please! Won't somebody think of the children! Have fun with that. Meanwhile as smokers either quit, or start buying their tobacco from tax-exempt indian reservations, your river of unconstitutional tax dollars will dwindle to a trickle. I can't wait to see the chaos in the future. Oh, and if you thought Black Market smokes were a problem in the past, wait a few months. You've just made cigarettes a worthwhile item for smugglers and the mob again.

As for me, I'm a smoker and if there's one thing I hate more than whiny anti-smokers it's whiny children. And if they're uninsured I hate them even more. Why the hell should I pay for your kids dip/tet? I can't afford my own fucking health insurance and you've got some nerve tapping my pocketbook to balance your shortcomings as a family provider. I'll be visiting the local reservation for my smokes from now on and the extra money I save will be going to whichever bar I happen to be near for my alcohol addiction. I hope there aren't any school zones in between the two!


Bigezbear said...

At the risk of appearing unseemly and uncaring, may I say, "You ROCK, motherfucker!"

Lemme know the next time you head out to the reservation. I'll stake you a few C's for some Benson & Hedges Light Menthols.

d a r k c h i l d e said...

I'm all for growing my own tobacco in the backyard...right next to my poppies and coca plants!!!