Friday, September 7, 2007

You Are Not Free To Move About The Country

I'm so torn by this article. For those of you too lazy to click through, a Southwest Airlines supervisor removed Kyla Ebbert from one of it's flights because he decided her outfit was not family freindly. It's incomprehensible that some dickhead named Keith is so full of "Moral Fiber" that he can spot inappropriate attire at the drop of a hat, but at the same time, Kyla Ebbert should probably rethink her wardrobe choices. The above-referenced article has a picture of the outfit in question, a semi-short white skirt and white tank top covered by a half-length green sweater which, honestly, makes Kyla look like one of those skanks at Hooters.

Oops.

OK, so she is one of those skanks at Hooters, but should she be removed from a flight for this? Absolutely not. Now I'll admit that the outfit simply screams "I need attention, I'm 23 and I look 35 but my tits and ass are still firm" and she should be probably shot for wearing it in public, but it's Supervisor Keith's actions that really pissed me off. After she had boarded her flight and taken her seat, Supervisor Keith approached her and asked her to come to the front of the plane. Confused, she complied, only to be told that Southwest was a family airline and she would not be allowed to fly in such a "revealing" outfit. Smooth move Keith. A little advice though: Next time you want to hit on a skank, just offer her a drink or a bump in the bathroom.

Ebbert was taking a day flight with no luggage so she really had no option of changing clothes, but Supervisor Keith had a plan. She could go to one of the shops in the airprort and buy something more appropriate to wear. Hmmm. Maybe Supervisor Keith is getting kickbacks from the Duty Free shop. Regardless, if he hadn't been such a twit, no one would have even noticed Ebbert's tacky attire. You've been on a plane before, yes? Aside from the portly mouth-breathing buisinessman next to you, how many other travellers can you see from your seat without seriously craning your neck? Exactly, none. So basically, Supervisor Keith created a huge problem, delayed an airline flight, and embarrased a poor girl all because he decided that other people on the flight who hadn't complained and couldn't even see this woman shouldn't be threatened with the possibility of catching sight of her outfit. Rock on Keith. Was your He-Man moment everything you thought it would be? Did you love the little taste of power?

Southwest Airlines, I applaud you for supporting your employees incredibly bad decisions. It shows you really care about the people you hire. Of course, I'll never buy a ticket from you shit-heels ever again, but that's because you're attempting to play the morally righteous role. It's bad enough that airlines have the absolutely worst service to cost ratio, but I don't need the hassle of your fashion police breathing down my neck. Plus, I've met some of your stewardesses at local bars here in New Orleans. They were dressed nicely, but the stuff they were doing on the dance floor... well, it's still illegal in 38 states. Maybe you should worry more about how your employees represent themselves and less about what your paying customers are wearing.

As for you, Miss Ebbert, I don't care what you wear, but have some self respect. You say you were going to see a doctor. For what? A quickie? Who dresses like that for a doctor visit? Stop pretending you're as young as you were in high school and get yourself some decent outfits for travel. If you want to dress like a whore, save it for an appropriate venue.

Like Hooters.

2 comments:

Odd said...

I can't wait for part two: The Lawsuit!

M Styborski said...

Actually, she was finally allowed to board the plane after wrapping her sweater around her waist. Also, my source on this failed to mention that a passenger did complain so Supervisor Keith is not quite the dickhead I thought he was. Good for him.