Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Effin-A Right Buddy!

In a stunning upset that has been a long time coming, Joey Chestnut brought Takeru Kobayashi to his knees in the 2007 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest. Kobayashi, who has dominated the event for the last six years, trounced his former World Record of 53 (and 3/4, as if fractions count in the real world,) hot-dogs downed in 12 minutes by ingesting 63 of the briny treats (and buns.) But this year, the glory would come home to America as Chestnut swallowed an amazing 66 pups. That's five and a half dogs and buns per minute. Kobayashi came close but a last minute choke, (and I literally mean, choke,) resulted in an attampt to re-ingest his own vomit to catch up which didn't work to anyone's advantage.

Now make no mistake about it, the world of "Professional Eating" is not a sport and the participants are not atheletes, no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise. However, the Nathan's contest is absolutely an undeniable part of Americana and I'm proud that the World Champion and World Record Holder, Joey Chestnut, has returned the title to our shores. It is a testament to our ability to swallow anything that is crammed down our throats and survive. (I'll bet you're expecting me to make a snide comment about the Bush Administration's pack of lies here, huh? Sorry, I'm too pumped with American Meat-Eating-Pride!) God bless the US of A and pass the freaking ketchup!

And by the way... Kudos to Pete Coors and the entire Coor's Brewery for allowing their ad agency to choose Kobayashi as the spokes-gorger for Coor's Light. Not only did they back the losing horse, they also backed a horse who can't pronounce the name of the product. Make no mistake, I'll remember this the next time I want a cold, frosty, American beer. It might have been smarter to put two commercials in the can, one with each of the top two competitors, and run the ads with the winner, but I guess all that collegiate urine flowing down the Golden River has affected the judgement centers of Pete's brain. Oh well, there's always next year!

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