Showing posts with label Dick Cheney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dick Cheney. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Cheney Fibrillating!
This just in: US VP Ricardo 'Dick' Cheney has canceled all plans today due to an atrial fibrillation in his heart. This is not, we repeat NOT, a heart attack. It is the technical term for an erratic heartbeat. Sources are divided on the cause. Cheney spokesmen infer that it is Invisible Dick's small attempt at showing solidarity with the erratic campaign strategy of John McCain. Democrats however have released a statement that the fibrillation began when Cheney was informed that Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama was in fact an African-American and not a Muslim terrorist. The prayers of the Nation of Morons are with the Cheney family today, just as they were way back when he shot that guy in the face.
Monday, September 1, 2008
FOX, News and Priorities
Much thanks to FOX "News" for interrupting coverage of Hurricane Gustav in order to inform us that presumptive Republican Veep Hottie Sarah Palin is going to be a grandmother. The pro-life, family-values candidate says that her seventeen year-old, single daughter, Bristol, who is five months pregnant, is planning to marry the baby-daddy, also a teenager. There is no report on whether Bristol is aware of the wedding plans. Talk about serendipitous timing. I wonder if Sarah will change her tune about teaching sex education in school…
FOX also reports that George Bush and Dick Cheney have canceled their Republican convention speeches for tonight. Laura Bush and Cindy McCain plan to take the stage in their place to beg for prayers and money, thus turning Gustav into a big Republican love-fest.
Currently, I'm watching the FOX "News" broadcast from the Judge Seeber Bridge as water sloshes over the Industrial Canal levees. The levees look strong with no visible stress in evidence. but the water level has risen from 10-feet to 11-feet which is the limit along most of the floodwalls in the area.
George Bush has just arrived in the Austin, TX Emergency HQ, smiling and slapping backs. FOX has just now cut the feed from Austin. Apparently five minutes of the First Ape posing for photo-ops with his texas buddies is enough.
Earlier, CNN interviewed FEMA scapegoat Mike Brown and asked him what was different now compared to three years ago. Brownie skirted the issue, but I can tell you the answer… There's a new sheriff in town and his name ain't Mike Brown!
FOX also reports that George Bush and Dick Cheney have canceled their Republican convention speeches for tonight. Laura Bush and Cindy McCain plan to take the stage in their place to beg for prayers and money, thus turning Gustav into a big Republican love-fest.
Currently, I'm watching the FOX "News" broadcast from the Judge Seeber Bridge as water sloshes over the Industrial Canal levees. The levees look strong with no visible stress in evidence. but the water level has risen from 10-feet to 11-feet which is the limit along most of the floodwalls in the area.
George Bush has just arrived in the Austin, TX Emergency HQ, smiling and slapping backs. FOX has just now cut the feed from Austin. Apparently five minutes of the First Ape posing for photo-ops with his texas buddies is enough.
Earlier, CNN interviewed FEMA scapegoat Mike Brown and asked him what was different now compared to three years ago. Brownie skirted the issue, but I can tell you the answer… There's a new sheriff in town and his name ain't Mike Brown!
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