This is the number in dollars that Recovery Director Ed Blakely says we need to fix the City of New Orleans. This includes buildings, streets, levees, sewers and infrastructure, churches and schools. (No mention of how much goes to line local pockets.) The debate has just started on whether Blakely's estimates are accurate or if he's just mouthing off again and has lost his perspective. Regardless, that's a lot of freaking cabbage. So much that I thought I'd run through a list of what that could buy...
One-third of the War On Terror. (To date.)
1 Google.com
17 Louisiana Road Home Programs. (But then you'd automatically need another 54 to 85 billion dollars. Let's make that 10 then.)
60 YouTube.coms (with plenty left over for popcorn.)
67 Oprah Winfreys. (How would that be for a small slice of Hell?)
100 re-makes of Warren Beatty's "Reds," adjusted for inflation. (By contrast you can buy 5 billion copies of the DVD at your local video store or 7.15 billion copies from Amazon.com)
600 Presidential candidate fields for 2008. (All candidates from all parties, based on current campaign fund coffers)
750 Louisiana Superdomes. (And Tom Benson could finally shut the fuck up about a new stadium.)
1,852 Pairs of Roy Pearson's pants. (Up from 1,538 since he reduced his lawsuit.)
6,667 Red Hot Fantasy jewel encrusted bra & panty sets from Victoria's Secret. (Christmas is coming fellas...)
13,334 FEMA trailer parks, 200-lot average. (More or less, depending on location and contractor padding costs. Note, for some reason each 200-lot park is only capable of housing 15-80 families.)
714,286 favors from former New Orleans School Superintendent Ellenese Brooks-Sims. (Ironically enough, the first favor was bought by Mose Jefferson, brother of our next subject...)
One-million favors from (current) LA Congressman William Jefferson. (But you'd better hurry.)
30-billion pounds of crawfish. (Keep in mind you'll need some extra cash for the Zatarains and boiling fixins.)
Well over 33 billion gallons of gasoline. (At 25 mpg, this will take you about 825 billion miles. That's roughly 448 million round-trips from New Orleans to Pittsburgh.)
Now that's some perspective.
Meanwhile today on "Ellen," her very special guest is Hugh Grant. Todays topic will be "Remember 10 years ago when we were almost relevant?"
UPDATE: According to WDSU, my initial source on this, they now say it's only one-hundred million dollars. Whatever. The list is still pretty good, just do your own math.
Showing posts with label Ed Blakely. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ed Blakely. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Imussing of Ed Blakely
New Orleans Mayor C Ray Nagin actually suggested that Recovery Director Ed Blakely stop making comments and focus on helping the city recover. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is. Apparently Mayor Wonka is suffering from a serious case of 'Do As I Say, Not As I Do.'
Blakely is currently being 'Imussed' for his recent comments in the New York Times in which he described New Orleans as a third-world country, compared our racial divide to that of Sunnis and Shiites, called the locals insular, and implied that local buffoons are impeding our recovery progress. (You heard it here first folks! Imussed: When someone makes a public comment which causes people to cry out for their immediate firing, stoning, incarceration, etc. I considered 'Nagined' but I'm not naming anything after that idiot.)
Fact: New Orleans is like a third-world country. We all know it and until Blakely was quoted in the paper we all were proud of it in a twisted way. It was a perverse badge of pride in the locals that we didn't operate like other cities. It set us apart and added to the charm of the city. Get over it and move on.
Fact: Blakely is wrong in comparing the racial divide in New Orleans to Sunnis and Shiites. Those groups attack and kill each other for religious beliefs. Here in New Orleans, it's largely 'African-Americans' killing each other over trivial crap like drugs. While there is a sense that racism is rampant in New Orleans, it's mainly kept alive by the 'African-American' community. New Orleans is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and we pretty much seem to be getting along except for a scant few who will never be satisfied with anything.
Fact: New Orleans locals are insular. Most people in the world are insular as it's more comfortable mixing with the familiar than it is trying to fit into new situations. There are certainly those locals who get along well with pretty much anyone, but for the most part, while this city desperately tries to get visitors to insert their hard earned money into our economy, there are those of us who glower at visitors from behind our daiquiris and mutter "fucking tourists." Grow a pair and admit it. I've done it, but it's usually aimed at those visitors who can't handle their liquor and end up spewing their whiskey-steeped Crawfish Meuniere across the hoods of parked cars in the French Quarter. Next.
Fact: Local buffoons are hindering the recovery process. There are folks out there like Sydney Torres who are trying very hard to help this city recover and doing a damn fine job. Then there are the buffoons like the folks at Dial One Plumbing, who so far have done excellent work for me, but seem completely inept at turning my paperwork over to the City of Kenner so I can get my gas service turned back on. It's been months now guys and I'd really like to take a hot bath without driving across town! Local buffoons exist here as they do everywhere else. We even elect them to high office once in a while. Deal with it.
As for Blakely, just because he's not far off from the mark this time doesn't mean he's not a moron. Since arriving here and taking the Recovery Director job, he has emulated Mayor Ray-Ray by using taxpayer money to fly wherever he wants, whenever he wants instead of doing the job for which he is being paid a substantial amount of our money. Like Ray-Ray, his head is full of conspiracy theories which he expounds on frequently, such as the "made-up" census numbers he believes falsely bloated the Pre-Katrina demographics of the city so it would qualify for "certain benefits." Blakely also said in an AP interview that he ran this city. Well, someone should, but not certainly this dink.
The upshot of all this is that the local buffoons have taken offense at Blakelys comments and are now calling for his immediate termination. To spot the buffoons, just look for those who doth protest too much. Cooler heads are taking it in stride, namely, City Councilwoman Stacey Head who was quoted thusly: "I think a lot of his comments hit the nail on the head... I don't take offense to his comments, and I think there are problems in the city we need to change." As for Local Buffoon Numero Uno, Mayor Nagin, he would do well to heed his own advice which oddly enough is the same thing I suggested to him over a year ago. For those with short memories, I shall repeat myself: Sit down, shut up and fix the city. Welcome to the Nation, Ed, don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way in.
Blakely is currently being 'Imussed' for his recent comments in the New York Times in which he described New Orleans as a third-world country, compared our racial divide to that of Sunnis and Shiites, called the locals insular, and implied that local buffoons are impeding our recovery progress. (You heard it here first folks! Imussed: When someone makes a public comment which causes people to cry out for their immediate firing, stoning, incarceration, etc. I considered 'Nagined' but I'm not naming anything after that idiot.)
Fact: New Orleans is like a third-world country. We all know it and until Blakely was quoted in the paper we all were proud of it in a twisted way. It was a perverse badge of pride in the locals that we didn't operate like other cities. It set us apart and added to the charm of the city. Get over it and move on.
Fact: Blakely is wrong in comparing the racial divide in New Orleans to Sunnis and Shiites. Those groups attack and kill each other for religious beliefs. Here in New Orleans, it's largely 'African-Americans' killing each other over trivial crap like drugs. While there is a sense that racism is rampant in New Orleans, it's mainly kept alive by the 'African-American' community. New Orleans is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and we pretty much seem to be getting along except for a scant few who will never be satisfied with anything.
Fact: New Orleans locals are insular. Most people in the world are insular as it's more comfortable mixing with the familiar than it is trying to fit into new situations. There are certainly those locals who get along well with pretty much anyone, but for the most part, while this city desperately tries to get visitors to insert their hard earned money into our economy, there are those of us who glower at visitors from behind our daiquiris and mutter "fucking tourists." Grow a pair and admit it. I've done it, but it's usually aimed at those visitors who can't handle their liquor and end up spewing their whiskey-steeped Crawfish Meuniere across the hoods of parked cars in the French Quarter. Next.
Fact: Local buffoons are hindering the recovery process. There are folks out there like Sydney Torres who are trying very hard to help this city recover and doing a damn fine job. Then there are the buffoons like the folks at Dial One Plumbing, who so far have done excellent work for me, but seem completely inept at turning my paperwork over to the City of Kenner so I can get my gas service turned back on. It's been months now guys and I'd really like to take a hot bath without driving across town! Local buffoons exist here as they do everywhere else. We even elect them to high office once in a while. Deal with it.
As for Blakely, just because he's not far off from the mark this time doesn't mean he's not a moron. Since arriving here and taking the Recovery Director job, he has emulated Mayor Ray-Ray by using taxpayer money to fly wherever he wants, whenever he wants instead of doing the job for which he is being paid a substantial amount of our money. Like Ray-Ray, his head is full of conspiracy theories which he expounds on frequently, such as the "made-up" census numbers he believes falsely bloated the Pre-Katrina demographics of the city so it would qualify for "certain benefits." Blakely also said in an AP interview that he ran this city. Well, someone should, but not certainly this dink.
The upshot of all this is that the local buffoons have taken offense at Blakelys comments and are now calling for his immediate termination. To spot the buffoons, just look for those who doth protest too much. Cooler heads are taking it in stride, namely, City Councilwoman Stacey Head who was quoted thusly: "I think a lot of his comments hit the nail on the head... I don't take offense to his comments, and I think there are problems in the city we need to change." As for Local Buffoon Numero Uno, Mayor Nagin, he would do well to heed his own advice which oddly enough is the same thing I suggested to him over a year ago. For those with short memories, I shall repeat myself: Sit down, shut up and fix the city. Welcome to the Nation, Ed, don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way in.
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