Palin Guilty, McCain Booed For Honesty

Just one day after the McCain Campaign absolved and exonerated Sarah Palin from any wrongdoing in the recent Troopergate scandal, (a clear effort to confuse the public by usurping the moment,) the actual Alaskan legislative committee charged with the task of discovering the truth has found that Sarah Palin did, in fact, "unlawfully abuse her authority" (as Governor of Alaska) "in firing the state public safety commissioner."

Palin was found to have overstepped her authority in firing Alaska PSC Walt Monegan for "insubordination." Palin, her husband and her staff made repeated harassing calls to Monegan in an effort to dismiss an Alaska State Trooper, Mike Wooten, that was formerly married to Palins' sister and was in the middle of a vicious 2-year custody battle.

Palin initially welcomed the investigation, stating that she had nothing to hide and would co-operate fully with the 14 member bi-partisan committee. Then the Republican Party bestowed the second-banana-to-be crown on her head and she quickly changed her tune, refusing to answer any questions on the matter and refusing to testify in official proceedings. Palin is now spinning the facts and crying foul because the committee never got to hear her side of the story. I guess not, sweetie. For those of you who think that this is a democratic witch-hunt fueled by the liberal media, the committee consists of four democrats and ten republicans. Oops.

The report states that there were other reasons behind the firing and the family feud was just one piece of a very small puzzle, but that Palin clearly abused the powers of her office. This means that the way is clear for lawsuits and recall petitions. I can't wait to hear the lies that spew forth from her "golly-gee-whiz-Joe-Sixpack" piehole as she tries to squirm her way out of this mess.

And let's not forget John McCain. According to the man himself, he was fully aware of Troopergate when he chose Palin as his nominee but dismissed it on her word that there was no fire beneath the smoke. Really now, are we supposed to believe that? I believe the Republican Party chose Palin and that McCain was forced to go along with that choice as part of the bargain he made to get the nomination. But if McCain did choose her, what does that say about his judgment of character and how can we ever trust it in the White House?

I will credit McCain with one bright shining example of the honest man he used to be. It came in a town hall rally today as a dishevelled and clearly... well, let's just call her confused, woman told McCain that she couldn't trust Obama because he was an Arab. John McCain took the microphone away from her and did his best to hide what looked to be utter disgust as he corrected her by saying, no ma'am, that's wrong. He explained that Obama was a good, honest family man, a citizen of this country, who just happens to have different ideas on how this country should be run. This was met by a stifled, half-hearted, half-round of applause from the audience, but later, when McCain said that Obama could be trusted as President, would make a fine President, the audience booed him unmercifully. He probably killed his campaign right there, but you could see in his eyes that he was truly sickened and saddened by what his campaign has so far accomplished with it's lies regarding Barack Obama.

It was stunning to watch and for one brief moment, I glimpsed the honesty of John McCain that so impressed me over a decade ago. It's a damn shame that man was corrupted by the politics of fear and the slanderous agenda of his own party. I miss him. But then, what the hell do I know?

Edwards: Trying The Hard Way

Democratic vice-presidential hopeful john Edwards continues his assault on America by continuing to run for President. This week, the well coiffed candidate took aim at Mrs BJ Clinton by stating that the "White House is not for sale and the Lincoln bedroom is not for rent." Strong words for a man who is currently foreclosing on Katrina victims shattered lives.

Here's an idea Johnny... build a weather machine, send a really big storm to Washington, flood the crap out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and then you and your shit-heel pals at Fortress Investment Group, LLC can foreclose on it and move in. Simple, yes? Of course, that only gets you the address. You'll still just be a leader of men in your own mind.

For more information read the Wall Street Journal story.

I'm Back!

And apparently, you folks have been letting things slide. As I collapsed on the bed after my second trip to the 'Burgh in three weeks, I popped on the tube to catch up on the news. What did I see? One of the last honest (I thought...) politicians left in the Big Easy resigning in shame over a corruption deal tied to (of all things) the Morial Administration.

Well fuck me.

I'm not even going to go into detail here, but apparently city councilman Oliver Thomas is just as worthless as Vitter, Jefferson, Broussard and most of the other scumbags he has derided in the past. He has admitted taking bribes to ensure certain individuals received lucrative parking contracts. Now I admit that upon first hearing this news, straight from Thomas himself, my mind did a doubletake and said, "No. Ya gotta be kidding. He's the honest one." It wasn't like the Jefferson incident when my mind just said, "Wow, someone finally noticed his shenanigans," then farted qiute loudly in disgust. I watched Thomas' interview with Norman Robinson and actually felt a little sorry for the guy. He gave in to temptation and unfortunately got caught. But then Robinson asked the $64,000 question...

"Were you approached by them or did they approach you?"

What followed next was the most unbecoming twenty seconds of awkward silence I have ever seen a politician go through. Now OT is not a stupid man. The fact that this question stopped him cold like this was very telling. Of course he answered that they came to him, what else would he say? But for a bright guy like him to have to fumble for such an easily answered question... well, let's just say that he buried the needle on my Bullshit-O-Meter.

My advice for Ollie? Follow your current path. You've already done the hard part in confessing and resigning and for that I retain a modicum of respect for you. Now play nice with the Feds and answer all the questions they have honestly and help send some other local scumbags to prison. It's the least you can do for the city you claim to love.

One small side note here: Last night on WDSU, the reporter covering the Sal & Mabel Mangano case was discussing the witness list for the trial and how it included local meteorologists, news directors and politicians. (I think it was Richard Angelico, but I was laughing too hard to be sure.) He had no trouble saying the words "witness list" until he came to the name of Governor Kathleen Blanco who he said was on the "witless list." Freudian slip? Truth stranger than fiction? Who knows, but he certainly nailed that one on its flat head!

Next Time, Let's Elect The [Bleep]ing Hooker

Andy Warhol once said that in the future, everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame. Well, it looks like David Vitter is getting his and he may have underestimated the effects of his one little sin. I confess, I did too. But that was before I knew that Jeanette Maier would actually come forward and out him. (I was just guessing in the last post.) That was before Hustler publisher Larry Flynt announced that he was in contact with five other prostitutes claiming to have had sexual relations with the Senator. And sadly, it was before Vitter called in sick this morning on Capitol Hill.

Now I don't care if Davy has sex with sheep as long as he's not puffing up his chest and condemning all the other sheep-[bleep]ers in the country. If you recall, Vitter was an avid cheerleader for Bill Clinton's impeachment during the Monica Lewinsky scandal in 1998. He even went so far as to impugn Clinton's "moral fitness" to govern the nation, and this was less than a year before he began hooking up in DC. (At least five times between 1999 and 2001. Of course, it now appears he had been dipping his wick for some time before Clinton got caught.) Will he now resign his seat in the senate for the same reasons?

Of course not.

As I write this, I'm fairly sure that Davy's working on his next public statement. You know, how this has been a terrible ordeal for his family, (I can almost feel the botox being injected into his wifes face so we won't be able to see her grimace at him,) and how through their love and support he hopes to rise above this small mistake he's made. He'll then assure his constituents that this episode will not hinder his ability to effectively carry out his duties as a United States Senator and thank us all for our continued support of him. Then he'll share a very cold and awkward embrace with his wife and slink off before the mainstream press is allowed to ask any questions. I swear it just makes me want to cry.

But here's the catch: It has already hindered his ability to perform his job. Vitter's absence today comes at a cost of three missed committee meetings, two missed senate votes on the troops in Iraq a cancelled meeting with the man who runs our country, Vice-President Dick Cheney and his monthly radio appearance on WWL radio. So much for the Public Trust. It seems that Davy's not satisfied just [bleep]ing whores, but now he's [bleep]ing his constituents and the rest of the state as well.

Since this issue has come to light, we also see that hypocrisy runs in the family. After Bob Livingston was outed for his extra-marital affair in 1999, Vitter's wife Wendy was asked if she could forgive her husband if she were in the same situation. Her response: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. (Clinton) If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me." Hmmm, perhaps that's why we've had no word from Davy. he might be undergoing re-attatchment surgery at this very moment.

At any rate, I'm not going to be one of those imbecilic reactionaries who call out for blood at the top of my lungs. If Davy wants to keep his job it's his decision. How much more damage can he do to the State of Louisiana. (Yes, I know what an incredibly stupid question that is.) However if it was me, (yeah, like I'm some aging fart that needs to pay whores for sex,) I'd step down and move to a remote island where no-one ever heard of me and quietly fade into history as just another lying scumbag in the annals of Louisiana Politics. Good luck Davy, your Warhol time is up.

The Honesty Of Spin Control

Senator David Vitter, R-Louisiana, has come forward regarding what he calls a "very serious sin in my past." Vitter's phone number appears in the records of former DC Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey. Breathe in the air of freedom Dave. Sweet ain't it? That's how us honest folks feel most of the time.

From Vitter's statement:

Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there --with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.

Oh, wait a minute... you mean you didn't just decide to do this for personal peace of mind? Oh, I see, it's in regard to the fact that Palfrey has already released the contents of her Black Book. Wow. And I thought you had found your conscience. I guess you're just stepping up to the plate because you don't want this to interfere with your political career. That's understandable, but it may have been more effective if you had come forward a few years back when this case originally surfaced.

I suppose if your wife and family can forgive you, so can your constituents, after all, it was a moment of weakness, right? It only happened once, right? You only hung out with hookers when away from your family, right? You never, ever visited Jeanette Maier on Canal Street, right?

Right.

UPDATE: Looks like i was wrong there. Oh, wait, forgot about the sarcasm. Indeed, I was correct!

In the future Dave, please try to spend your time on Capitol Hill more constructively. You know, like working for the people who elected you. We sent you to Washington to improve our state and our lives, not to improve your sex life. Your salary is our tax money, remember? If you really want to improve Louisiana's economy, there are plenty of whores down here who can use the money. I mean, besides our local politicians. And remember, if you do happen to lose your job, you can always go back to beating up schoolchildren smaller than you for their lunch money. Just like High School, right?

Right.