Vick-tim Of His Own Stupidity

Yes, I know I should have been keeping you all up to date on the Michael Vick brouhaha, but I'll make it up to you now. My sources deep inside the Atlanta Falcons organization inform me that after the troubled QB serves his 12- to 18-month sentence, he will be welcome back into the folds of the organization as the Starting Quarterback. According to the front office, Vick wil have all benefits, bonuses and perks returned to him as long as he wins football games for the Falcons. However, in the event that he loses a game, he will be eletrocuted and then shot in the head in a wooded area out behind the Georgia Dome.