Once again New Orleans has been told, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off and die. This time by Paul Kirk (D) from the bi-partisan Presidential Debate Commission. Instead, Oxford, Mississippi will host the presidential hopefuls. Mr Kirk informed locals of the reasons our city was deemed unacceptable:
1 New Orleans is not technologically up to date.
Really? It seems to me you need some cameras and an internet connection. Is the commission saying that we don't have this? Or are they saying that we're too stupid to work the equipment? I seem to remember a few weeks after the storm when the President of these United States spouted heartfelt lies to us from Jackson Square. We had little to no power and even less people but that message got through. And we have no trouble beaming Saints games across the globe. Surely there must be another reason.
2 New Orleans does not have the hotel space needed for a major convention.
Really? We have enough rooms to hold the million plus visitors that came to Mardi Gras earlier this year. Ask the three or four major medical convention attendees that have visited us this year. And we seem to have plenty of space for the BCS Championship and NBA All-Star games, both of which are sure to draw ten times the crowd that a Presidential debate will. In fact, New Orleans can boast at least five times the hotel space needed for the debate, unlike Oxford, MS, which has only about half of the required rooms, forcing most people to seek accommodations in outlying areas.
3 New Orleans does not have a venue sufficient to host the debate.
Really? Well, of course the Saenger, the State Palace and the Municipal Auditorium are still somewhat in a state of flux, but we have the Superdome and the newly refurbished Morial Convention Center. But surely, to hold a Presidential Debate in either of those would just remind the Nation of the current administrations miserable failures during Hurricane Katrina. Surely the endless accusations and questions of the locals would be enough to dislodge even the hardiest hairdo of John Edwards no matter how much of his campaign money he spent on it.
Wait! I think that's it! It's clear that even though half of the combined Republican and Democratic candidates have made it clear that New Orleans should host a debate, no-one actually wants to because of the embarrassment factor. Neither party wants to be associated with the stigma of the worst Federal failure since the Hoover administration, nor do they want to be the party whose candidates are unable to explain why they are unable to help us out of the mess we're in. Can you blame them? Another possibility is that none of the candidates want to sit through the required photo opportunities with the ineffective governor, the absentee mayor or any number of the city and state officials with federal indictments hanging over their heads.
This is simply "safe" politics at its finest. Pick a town close enough to ground zero that says "We acknowledge the problem," but far enough away so that your candidates don't walk away with the stink of failure on them. Smooth move Paul. Apparently you did something to piss off your co-workers that they voted you the bearer of this bad news. In that same vein, I elect you to go back to your small minded little committee and inform them that they have all been admitted to a podium of honor here in the Nation Of Morons.
Thanks for nothing.
Showing posts with label Nation of Morons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nation of Morons. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Eddie And The Cruisers
What the hell kids? I leave town for a week and you guys let the town go straight to hell. There's so much I can rant about from the ridiculously skewed elections to Derrick Sheppard getting caught in 'Dollar' Bill Jefferson's cookie jar, to California rampantly flaunting their disregard for global warming, but I want to take this opportunity to discuss Orleans Parish DA Eddie Jordan and the complete fiasco he has created.
In a nutshell, Jordan fired a whole mess of people from the OPDA's office as his first official act as District Attorney, the majority of whom were white and subsequently sued him. I cant track down the actual numbers, (what I find on the web list different numbers in each report,) but I think there were 43 total employees fired, 5 black and 38 white. Jordan defended this by stating that he hired white employees too, but when the numbers were revealed it was a direct opposite. 38 blacks hired and 5 whites. As I said, I'm not sure of the actual numbers, but I remember the color flip-flop distinctly.
Jordan, to this day, claims he's not a racist and this may be true if in fact he was operating under direct orders of Bill Jefferson as has been rumoured. This may be Jordan's way of telling the truth without telling the whole truth and implicating his buddy Bill as a racist and political manipulator. Regardless, Jordan has run out of appeals and is now faced with a 3.7 million dollar settlement to the po' white folk he unceremoniously dismissed. Well, that is the DA's office is. Jordan himself faces no punishment whatsoever! The onus of this lawsuit falls squarely on the taxpayers of Orleans Parish and the State of Louisiana.
Now the DA's office is in danger of being shut down because there is no money to pay this settlement. All across New Orleans you can hear people saying "So what? It's not like the DA's office is doing it's job anyway." and for the most part this is true. Jordan claims a 70-80% conviction rate. Others say that this number is closer to 30-40%. Without access to court records I can neither confirm nor deny this but one thing is certain: with all the crime in this city, the DA's office has only brought 77 cases to trial between July and September of this year. And according to Jordan's numbers about 25% of those end in non-convictions. Pathetic.
Jordan has recently been looking under the couch cushions of the Orleans Parish City Council and checking the pay phone coin returns of the Louisiana State Senate and House, looking for whatever change he can find for his office to help pay this settlement. Good luck, Jack. (No, really. His full name is Eddie Jack Jordan.) The odds are against a bailout unless he resigns, which he is reluctant to do. Lawyers for the plaintiffs state that the DA's office has the assets to pay the claim citing vehicles owned by the office and the salary for Jordan's driver as assets which could be sold or done away with. By the way, Jordan's driver reportedly makes $70,000 a year. (And they say there are no good government jobs!)
(Whoops, hold the presses... WDSU reports that Jordan is currently addressing his staff and may soon make a public statement. I'll let you know if I hear anything.)
As for the lawsuit itself, there are some really big unanswered questions which the Big News Media seems unable to even ask. First, how much of the 3.7 million is going to the lawyers who handled the case? True, they won and deserve compensation, but wouldn't waiving the fee, or at least the profit over costs, be the civic thing to do? After all, New Orleans is their city too and if the DA's office shuts down where will these guys practice law? (Yes, I know there's a difference between civil and criminal law, but the firms which practice both will indeed lose business.) They still get to go in the record books as victors and the press will anoint them as heroes if they follow this route.
Then we have the white guys. How many of them actually found work after being fired? How many just cruised around town waiting for their inevitable big fat settlement check? Indeed, they all deserve something for their ordeal, but 3.7 million dollars? Give me a fucking break. This whole lawsuit was designed by the lawyers for the purpose of profit, not justice. If the white guys wanted justice they would have sued the DA's office for the right to return to their jobs and the removal of Eddie Jordan and they would have sued Jordan personally for monetary compensation. As it stands, Jordan ain't worth much, (monetarily, or as a human being,) so they decided to go after the DA's office and it's big ol' bank account. You want justice? Give all the fired employees their jobs back, plus pay them for the time they missed working there, regardless of whether they had other jobs in the interim, and add in a bonus payment of about four times their salaries. (An extra year of pay for each year they were out of work.) The court system should be used for justice. Period. Not to play the home version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
As For Eddie Jack himself, why the hell is he still in office? As if this debacle isn't bad enough to get fired, he now faces an even bigger mess relating to an incident from a few weeks ago. 20 year old thug Elton Phillips allegedly robbed a man at gunpoint and fled. The victim jumped into his Hummer and gave chase until he was able to ram Phillips' vehicle off the road. Phillips and his getaway driver fled to separate houses in the area and guess where Elton went? Yup, straight to Eddie Jordans' place. It seems that Phillips is good friends with Jordans' girlfriend, Cherylynn Robinson, and upon arriving called his grammy to come pick him up, staying at the home only a few minutes. Jordan asked what was going on and Phillips said someone deliberately hit his car and ran him off the road. Jordan stated that "He was a kid... He really looked innocuous..." and then scooted off back to bed.
What the fuck? You're the DA of a major city and you don't call the cops for a hit and run victim? Are you really that incredibly obtuse? Regardless of whether you think this kid is a criminal or not, you call the cops to report an accident! Perhaps if Jordan had acted apropriately, NOPD Detective Thelonius Dukes and his wife would not have been shot and robbed by Elton Phillips and his gangsta-nigga buddies the very next morning. Detective Dukes remains in critical condition from gunshots to the leg and lower torso. His wife was shot in the foot. Parts of the home invasion were captured by security cameras at the Dukes home.
I tell ya, you can't swing a prosthetic limb in this post without knocking over a fistful of Morons. And the sad part is we let this happen! We read the stories, we watch the news reports, then we shake our heads and say, "Wow, that's fucked up." and get another moccha latte from Starbucks and check the baseball scores. We need to make a stand as one and demand accountability from the so-called 'leaders' not just in New Orleans but across this country, and until we do, we're all at risk from Morons like Eddie Jack Jordan.
In a nutshell, Jordan fired a whole mess of people from the OPDA's office as his first official act as District Attorney, the majority of whom were white and subsequently sued him. I cant track down the actual numbers, (what I find on the web list different numbers in each report,) but I think there were 43 total employees fired, 5 black and 38 white. Jordan defended this by stating that he hired white employees too, but when the numbers were revealed it was a direct opposite. 38 blacks hired and 5 whites. As I said, I'm not sure of the actual numbers, but I remember the color flip-flop distinctly.
Jordan, to this day, claims he's not a racist and this may be true if in fact he was operating under direct orders of Bill Jefferson as has been rumoured. This may be Jordan's way of telling the truth without telling the whole truth and implicating his buddy Bill as a racist and political manipulator. Regardless, Jordan has run out of appeals and is now faced with a 3.7 million dollar settlement to the po' white folk he unceremoniously dismissed. Well, that is the DA's office is. Jordan himself faces no punishment whatsoever! The onus of this lawsuit falls squarely on the taxpayers of Orleans Parish and the State of Louisiana.
Now the DA's office is in danger of being shut down because there is no money to pay this settlement. All across New Orleans you can hear people saying "So what? It's not like the DA's office is doing it's job anyway." and for the most part this is true. Jordan claims a 70-80% conviction rate. Others say that this number is closer to 30-40%. Without access to court records I can neither confirm nor deny this but one thing is certain: with all the crime in this city, the DA's office has only brought 77 cases to trial between July and September of this year. And according to Jordan's numbers about 25% of those end in non-convictions. Pathetic.
Jordan has recently been looking under the couch cushions of the Orleans Parish City Council and checking the pay phone coin returns of the Louisiana State Senate and House, looking for whatever change he can find for his office to help pay this settlement. Good luck, Jack. (No, really. His full name is Eddie Jack Jordan.) The odds are against a bailout unless he resigns, which he is reluctant to do. Lawyers for the plaintiffs state that the DA's office has the assets to pay the claim citing vehicles owned by the office and the salary for Jordan's driver as assets which could be sold or done away with. By the way, Jordan's driver reportedly makes $70,000 a year. (And they say there are no good government jobs!)
(Whoops, hold the presses... WDSU reports that Jordan is currently addressing his staff and may soon make a public statement. I'll let you know if I hear anything.)
As for the lawsuit itself, there are some really big unanswered questions which the Big News Media seems unable to even ask. First, how much of the 3.7 million is going to the lawyers who handled the case? True, they won and deserve compensation, but wouldn't waiving the fee, or at least the profit over costs, be the civic thing to do? After all, New Orleans is their city too and if the DA's office shuts down where will these guys practice law? (Yes, I know there's a difference between civil and criminal law, but the firms which practice both will indeed lose business.) They still get to go in the record books as victors and the press will anoint them as heroes if they follow this route.
Then we have the white guys. How many of them actually found work after being fired? How many just cruised around town waiting for their inevitable big fat settlement check? Indeed, they all deserve something for their ordeal, but 3.7 million dollars? Give me a fucking break. This whole lawsuit was designed by the lawyers for the purpose of profit, not justice. If the white guys wanted justice they would have sued the DA's office for the right to return to their jobs and the removal of Eddie Jordan and they would have sued Jordan personally for monetary compensation. As it stands, Jordan ain't worth much, (monetarily, or as a human being,) so they decided to go after the DA's office and it's big ol' bank account. You want justice? Give all the fired employees their jobs back, plus pay them for the time they missed working there, regardless of whether they had other jobs in the interim, and add in a bonus payment of about four times their salaries. (An extra year of pay for each year they were out of work.) The court system should be used for justice. Period. Not to play the home version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
As For Eddie Jack himself, why the hell is he still in office? As if this debacle isn't bad enough to get fired, he now faces an even bigger mess relating to an incident from a few weeks ago. 20 year old thug Elton Phillips allegedly robbed a man at gunpoint and fled. The victim jumped into his Hummer and gave chase until he was able to ram Phillips' vehicle off the road. Phillips and his getaway driver fled to separate houses in the area and guess where Elton went? Yup, straight to Eddie Jordans' place. It seems that Phillips is good friends with Jordans' girlfriend, Cherylynn Robinson, and upon arriving called his grammy to come pick him up, staying at the home only a few minutes. Jordan asked what was going on and Phillips said someone deliberately hit his car and ran him off the road. Jordan stated that "He was a kid... He really looked innocuous..." and then scooted off back to bed.
What the fuck? You're the DA of a major city and you don't call the cops for a hit and run victim? Are you really that incredibly obtuse? Regardless of whether you think this kid is a criminal or not, you call the cops to report an accident! Perhaps if Jordan had acted apropriately, NOPD Detective Thelonius Dukes and his wife would not have been shot and robbed by Elton Phillips and his gangsta-nigga buddies the very next morning. Detective Dukes remains in critical condition from gunshots to the leg and lower torso. His wife was shot in the foot. Parts of the home invasion were captured by security cameras at the Dukes home.
I tell ya, you can't swing a prosthetic limb in this post without knocking over a fistful of Morons. And the sad part is we let this happen! We read the stories, we watch the news reports, then we shake our heads and say, "Wow, that's fucked up." and get another moccha latte from Starbucks and check the baseball scores. We need to make a stand as one and demand accountability from the so-called 'leaders' not just in New Orleans but across this country, and until we do, we're all at risk from Morons like Eddie Jack Jordan.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I'm Back!
And apparently, you folks have been letting things slide. As I collapsed on the bed after my second trip to the 'Burgh in three weeks, I popped on the tube to catch up on the news. What did I see? One of the last honest (I thought...) politicians left in the Big Easy resigning in shame over a corruption deal tied to (of all things) the Morial Administration.
Well fuck me.
I'm not even going to go into detail here, but apparently city councilman Oliver Thomas is just as worthless as Vitter, Jefferson, Broussard and most of the other scumbags he has derided in the past. He has admitted taking bribes to ensure certain individuals received lucrative parking contracts. Now I admit that upon first hearing this news, straight from Thomas himself, my mind did a doubletake and said, "No. Ya gotta be kidding. He's the honest one." It wasn't like the Jefferson incident when my mind just said, "Wow, someone finally noticed his shenanigans," then farted qiute loudly in disgust. I watched Thomas' interview with Norman Robinson and actually felt a little sorry for the guy. He gave in to temptation and unfortunately got caught. But then Robinson asked the $64,000 question...
"Were you approached by them or did they approach you?"
What followed next was the most unbecoming twenty seconds of awkward silence I have ever seen a politician go through. Now OT is not a stupid man. The fact that this question stopped him cold like this was very telling. Of course he answered that they came to him, what else would he say? But for a bright guy like him to have to fumble for such an easily answered question... well, let's just say that he buried the needle on my Bullshit-O-Meter.
My advice for Ollie? Follow your current path. You've already done the hard part in confessing and resigning and for that I retain a modicum of respect for you. Now play nice with the Feds and answer all the questions they have honestly and help send some other local scumbags to prison. It's the least you can do for the city you claim to love.
One small side note here: Last night on WDSU, the reporter covering the Sal & Mabel Mangano case was discussing the witness list for the trial and how it included local meteorologists, news directors and politicians. (I think it was Richard Angelico, but I was laughing too hard to be sure.) He had no trouble saying the words "witness list" until he came to the name of Governor Kathleen Blanco who he said was on the "witless list." Freudian slip? Truth stranger than fiction? Who knows, but he certainly nailed that one on its flat head!
Well fuck me.
I'm not even going to go into detail here, but apparently city councilman Oliver Thomas is just as worthless as Vitter, Jefferson, Broussard and most of the other scumbags he has derided in the past. He has admitted taking bribes to ensure certain individuals received lucrative parking contracts. Now I admit that upon first hearing this news, straight from Thomas himself, my mind did a doubletake and said, "No. Ya gotta be kidding. He's the honest one." It wasn't like the Jefferson incident when my mind just said, "Wow, someone finally noticed his shenanigans," then farted qiute loudly in disgust. I watched Thomas' interview with Norman Robinson and actually felt a little sorry for the guy. He gave in to temptation and unfortunately got caught. But then Robinson asked the $64,000 question...
"Were you approached by them or did they approach you?"
What followed next was the most unbecoming twenty seconds of awkward silence I have ever seen a politician go through. Now OT is not a stupid man. The fact that this question stopped him cold like this was very telling. Of course he answered that they came to him, what else would he say? But for a bright guy like him to have to fumble for such an easily answered question... well, let's just say that he buried the needle on my Bullshit-O-Meter.
My advice for Ollie? Follow your current path. You've already done the hard part in confessing and resigning and for that I retain a modicum of respect for you. Now play nice with the Feds and answer all the questions they have honestly and help send some other local scumbags to prison. It's the least you can do for the city you claim to love.
One small side note here: Last night on WDSU, the reporter covering the Sal & Mabel Mangano case was discussing the witness list for the trial and how it included local meteorologists, news directors and politicians. (I think it was Richard Angelico, but I was laughing too hard to be sure.) He had no trouble saying the words "witness list" until he came to the name of Governor Kathleen Blanco who he said was on the "witless list." Freudian slip? Truth stranger than fiction? Who knows, but he certainly nailed that one on its flat head!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
New Math
The recent report on the war in Iraq lists 18 benchmarks. 8 of these were ranked as failures, 8 as successes and 2 were ranked right in between. President Bush proudly waves this report in the face of the nation and calls it a success. Are you [bleep]ing kidding me? No matter how you spin it, that's just below 44.5%. A solid failure in even the most lenient classes.
But then, I'm not Georgie. Normal rules of conduct and common sense actually apply to me. George on the other hand is used to failing and coming out smelling like a rose. Just like when his Texas MLB club was failing, he made money by sucking in investors at "the right time." Likewise, his oil operations in the eighties were miserable failures but he did ok. (I think he owned the only oil companies to fail to make a profit during the eighties oil boom.) It must be nice to be blissfully unaware of how sub-par you truly are.
The new math of the Bush Administration runs deep. Ask anyone who worked in the Texas school system while he was governor of that fine state. His No Child Left Behind program was a rousing success and Texas had a record low number of high school dropouts. This was due to the fact that dropouts were listed as "transfers to other schools or districts." In fact, in a survey of 16 high schools conducted by the state, a field of 5500 freshman had only about 2500 students reach graduation thanks to Secretary of Education Rod Paige, (Houston school superintendant from 1994-2001,) a longtime Bush crony. The real success of NCLB? Paige fired principals who reported dropouts and gave $5000 bonuses to those who reported 0 dropouts.
I know, it's an old story. And it's obvious that America doesn't really give a damn because this all broke open as Georgie was digging a new ass groove into the Oval Office leather chair. I don't know who to be more sick of; the First Liar or you mindless [bleep]s who elected him. No matter how you arrange the numbers, the Bush Administration simply doesn't add up, but it certainly divides us well.
But then, I'm not Georgie. Normal rules of conduct and common sense actually apply to me. George on the other hand is used to failing and coming out smelling like a rose. Just like when his Texas MLB club was failing, he made money by sucking in investors at "the right time." Likewise, his oil operations in the eighties were miserable failures but he did ok. (I think he owned the only oil companies to fail to make a profit during the eighties oil boom.) It must be nice to be blissfully unaware of how sub-par you truly are.
The new math of the Bush Administration runs deep. Ask anyone who worked in the Texas school system while he was governor of that fine state. His No Child Left Behind program was a rousing success and Texas had a record low number of high school dropouts. This was due to the fact that dropouts were listed as "transfers to other schools or districts." In fact, in a survey of 16 high schools conducted by the state, a field of 5500 freshman had only about 2500 students reach graduation thanks to Secretary of Education Rod Paige, (Houston school superintendant from 1994-2001,) a longtime Bush crony. The real success of NCLB? Paige fired principals who reported dropouts and gave $5000 bonuses to those who reported 0 dropouts.
I know, it's an old story. And it's obvious that America doesn't really give a damn because this all broke open as Georgie was digging a new ass groove into the Oval Office leather chair. I don't know who to be more sick of; the First Liar or you mindless [bleep]s who elected him. No matter how you arrange the numbers, the Bush Administration simply doesn't add up, but it certainly divides us well.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Next Time, Let's Elect The [Bleep]ing Hooker
Andy Warhol once said that in the future, everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame. Well, it looks like David Vitter is getting his and he may have underestimated the effects of his one little sin. I confess, I did too. But that was before I knew that Jeanette Maier would actually come forward and out him. (I was just guessing in the last post.) That was before Hustler publisher Larry Flynt announced that he was in contact with five other prostitutes claiming to have had sexual relations with the Senator. And sadly, it was before Vitter called in sick this morning on Capitol Hill.
Now I don't care if Davy has sex with sheep as long as he's not puffing up his chest and condemning all the other sheep-[bleep]ers in the country. If you recall, Vitter was an avid cheerleader for Bill Clinton's impeachment during the Monica Lewinsky scandal in 1998. He even went so far as to impugn Clinton's "moral fitness" to govern the nation, and this was less than a year before he began hooking up in DC. (At least five times between 1999 and 2001. Of course, it now appears he had been dipping his wick for some time before Clinton got caught.) Will he now resign his seat in the senate for the same reasons?
Of course not.
As I write this, I'm fairly sure that Davy's working on his next public statement. You know, how this has been a terrible ordeal for his family, (I can almost feel the botox being injected into his wifes face so we won't be able to see her grimace at him,) and how through their love and support he hopes to rise above this small mistake he's made. He'll then assure his constituents that this episode will not hinder his ability to effectively carry out his duties as a United States Senator and thank us all for our continued support of him. Then he'll share a very cold and awkward embrace with his wife and slink off before the mainstream press is allowed to ask any questions. I swear it just makes me want to cry.
But here's the catch: It has already hindered his ability to perform his job. Vitter's absence today comes at a cost of three missed committee meetings, two missed senate votes on the troops in Iraq a cancelled meeting with the man who runs our country, Vice-President Dick Cheney and his monthly radio appearance on WWL radio. So much for the Public Trust. It seems that Davy's not satisfied just [bleep]ing whores, but now he's [bleep]ing his constituents and the rest of the state as well.
Since this issue has come to light, we also see that hypocrisy runs in the family. After Bob Livingston was outed for his extra-marital affair in 1999, Vitter's wife Wendy was asked if she could forgive her husband if she were in the same situation. Her response: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. (Clinton) If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me." Hmmm, perhaps that's why we've had no word from Davy. he might be undergoing re-attatchment surgery at this very moment.
At any rate, I'm not going to be one of those imbecilic reactionaries who call out for blood at the top of my lungs. If Davy wants to keep his job it's his decision. How much more damage can he do to the State of Louisiana. (Yes, I know what an incredibly stupid question that is.) However if it was me, (yeah, like I'm some aging fart that needs to pay whores for sex,) I'd step down and move to a remote island where no-one ever heard of me and quietly fade into history as just another lying scumbag in the annals of Louisiana Politics. Good luck Davy, your Warhol time is up.
Now I don't care if Davy has sex with sheep as long as he's not puffing up his chest and condemning all the other sheep-[bleep]ers in the country. If you recall, Vitter was an avid cheerleader for Bill Clinton's impeachment during the Monica Lewinsky scandal in 1998. He even went so far as to impugn Clinton's "moral fitness" to govern the nation, and this was less than a year before he began hooking up in DC. (At least five times between 1999 and 2001. Of course, it now appears he had been dipping his wick for some time before Clinton got caught.) Will he now resign his seat in the senate for the same reasons?
Of course not.
As I write this, I'm fairly sure that Davy's working on his next public statement. You know, how this has been a terrible ordeal for his family, (I can almost feel the botox being injected into his wifes face so we won't be able to see her grimace at him,) and how through their love and support he hopes to rise above this small mistake he's made. He'll then assure his constituents that this episode will not hinder his ability to effectively carry out his duties as a United States Senator and thank us all for our continued support of him. Then he'll share a very cold and awkward embrace with his wife and slink off before the mainstream press is allowed to ask any questions. I swear it just makes me want to cry.
But here's the catch: It has already hindered his ability to perform his job. Vitter's absence today comes at a cost of three missed committee meetings, two missed senate votes on the troops in Iraq a cancelled meeting with the man who runs our country, Vice-President Dick Cheney and his monthly radio appearance on WWL radio. So much for the Public Trust. It seems that Davy's not satisfied just [bleep]ing whores, but now he's [bleep]ing his constituents and the rest of the state as well.
Since this issue has come to light, we also see that hypocrisy runs in the family. After Bob Livingston was outed for his extra-marital affair in 1999, Vitter's wife Wendy was asked if she could forgive her husband if she were in the same situation. Her response: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. (Clinton) If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me." Hmmm, perhaps that's why we've had no word from Davy. he might be undergoing re-attatchment surgery at this very moment.
At any rate, I'm not going to be one of those imbecilic reactionaries who call out for blood at the top of my lungs. If Davy wants to keep his job it's his decision. How much more damage can he do to the State of Louisiana. (Yes, I know what an incredibly stupid question that is.) However if it was me, (yeah, like I'm some aging fart that needs to pay whores for sex,) I'd step down and move to a remote island where no-one ever heard of me and quietly fade into history as just another lying scumbag in the annals of Louisiana Politics. Good luck Davy, your Warhol time is up.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Honesty Of Spin Control
Senator David Vitter, R-Louisiana, has come forward regarding what he calls a "very serious sin in my past." Vitter's phone number appears in the records of former DC Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey. Breathe in the air of freedom Dave. Sweet ain't it? That's how us honest folks feel most of the time.
From Vitter's statement:
Oh, wait a minute... you mean you didn't just decide to do this for personal peace of mind? Oh, I see, it's in regard to the fact that Palfrey has already released the contents of her Black Book. Wow. And I thought you had found your conscience. I guess you're just stepping up to the plate because you don't want this to interfere with your political career. That's understandable, but it may have been more effective if you had come forward a few years back when this case originally surfaced.
I suppose if your wife and family can forgive you, so can your constituents, after all, it was a moment of weakness, right? It only happened once, right? You only hung out with hookers when away from your family, right? You never, ever visited Jeanette Maier on Canal Street, right?
Right.
UPDATE: Looks like i was wrong there. Oh, wait, forgot about the sarcasm. Indeed, I was correct!
In the future Dave, please try to spend your time on Capitol Hill more constructively. You know, like working for the people who elected you. We sent you to Washington to improve our state and our lives, not to improve your sex life. Your salary is our tax money, remember? If you really want to improve Louisiana's economy, there are plenty of whores down here who can use the money. I mean, besides our local politicians. And remember, if you do happen to lose your job, you can always go back to beating up schoolchildren smaller than you for their lunch money. Just like High School, right?
Right.
From Vitter's statement:
Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there --with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.
Oh, wait a minute... you mean you didn't just decide to do this for personal peace of mind? Oh, I see, it's in regard to the fact that Palfrey has already released the contents of her Black Book. Wow. And I thought you had found your conscience. I guess you're just stepping up to the plate because you don't want this to interfere with your political career. That's understandable, but it may have been more effective if you had come forward a few years back when this case originally surfaced.
I suppose if your wife and family can forgive you, so can your constituents, after all, it was a moment of weakness, right? It only happened once, right? You only hung out with hookers when away from your family, right? You never, ever visited Jeanette Maier on Canal Street, right?
Right.
UPDATE: Looks like i was wrong there. Oh, wait, forgot about the sarcasm. Indeed, I was correct!
In the future Dave, please try to spend your time on Capitol Hill more constructively. You know, like working for the people who elected you. We sent you to Washington to improve our state and our lives, not to improve your sex life. Your salary is our tax money, remember? If you really want to improve Louisiana's economy, there are plenty of whores down here who can use the money. I mean, besides our local politicians. And remember, if you do happen to lose your job, you can always go back to beating up schoolchildren smaller than you for their lunch money. Just like High School, right?
Right.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Justice Is Almost Served
Remember Roy Pearson? The scumbag who sued an immigrant drycleaner for 54 million dollars over a pair of pants? (Come on folks, try hard.) Well, he lost, and there was much rejoicing.
From District of Colombia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff:
Unfortunately, in spite of a clear majority of opinion, he has also been re-appointed to his judgeship. Incredibly, someone, somewhere, believes this dillhole has the appropriate mental faculties to preside over other peoples legal concerns. Now I know this news will leave some of you with mixed feelings, and rightfully so. It's nice to know that the Chungs will be able to continue in pursuit of the American Dream, (their court costs are about $1000, no information on whether they'll sue to recover the tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees this has cost them,) but unsettling to know that Roy will be in control of other peoples legal lives.
It just makes me wish there was some way to tell this guy what I really think of him. For instance, if I knew that his mailing address was Roy L Pearson, Jr, 3012 Pineview Ct NE, Washington, DC 20018-1617, I could write him a letter. Or if I knew that his phone number was (202) 269-1191, I could call and leave my two-cents on his answering machine. I can't even e-mail him since I don't know his e-mail address is roypearsonjr@verizon.net. Oh well, I guess there's nothing I can do. So it goes.
From District of Colombia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff:
"Based on the foregoing, the Court finds that the plaintiff is not entitled to any relief whatsoever on his claims under the CPPA, Counts One and Four of his Amended Complaint. The Court's analysis of the plaintiff's CPPA claims applies as well to his claims of common law fraud in Count Two of the Amended Complaint. The plaintiff acknowledges that he is required to prove those claims by clear, convincing and unequivocal evidence. He has not proven those claims by a preponderance of the evidence, let alone by that higher standard. Judgment therefore will be awarded to the defendants, as well as their costs."
Unfortunately, in spite of a clear majority of opinion, he has also been re-appointed to his judgeship. Incredibly, someone, somewhere, believes this dillhole has the appropriate mental faculties to preside over other peoples legal concerns. Now I know this news will leave some of you with mixed feelings, and rightfully so. It's nice to know that the Chungs will be able to continue in pursuit of the American Dream, (their court costs are about $1000, no information on whether they'll sue to recover the tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees this has cost them,) but unsettling to know that Roy will be in control of other peoples legal lives.
It just makes me wish there was some way to tell this guy what I really think of him. For instance, if I knew that his mailing address was Roy L Pearson, Jr, 3012 Pineview Ct NE, Washington, DC 20018-1617, I could write him a letter. Or if I knew that his phone number was (202) 269-1191, I could call and leave my two-cents on his answering machine. I can't even e-mail him since I don't know his e-mail address is roypearsonjr@verizon.net. Oh well, I guess there's nothing I can do. So it goes.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Jeffersons
Oh we movin' on up, to the east side...
Certainly one bad apple don't spoil the whole damn bunch, but in the case of the Jefferson family, the bunch may have been spoiled to begin with. I really hate to call negative attention to New Orleans, (yet again,) but my calling is quite clear. After doing a little digging through the Times-Picayune, I collected a few tidbits which I'd now like to share, but get the Alka-Selzer out, what follows is not for the weak of stomach.
US Representative William Jefferson is currently under indictment for 16 counts of bribery, racketeering, fraud and obstruction of justice in a case which has already seen two of his cronies plead guilty. This would be the iGate deal in which Jefferson allegedly used his official clout to broker deals in Africa. Despite the fact that Jefferson was caught on tape soliciting a bribe and was found with $90,000 of that money squirrelled away in his freezer, (which he has yet to "rationally explain" as he promised,) an amazing number of his constituents refuse to believe he is guilty, instead opting for all manner of explanations from "political witch-hunts" to racism. Indeed, his constituents are so enamored of him, he easily coasted to a recent re-election victory over opponent Karen Carter even though her funds outweighed his at a ratio of 4.5 to 1. (Jefferson had slightly over 50% of the vote. Of course, only about 20% of the registered voters bothered to go to the polls.)
According to documents, Bill Jefferson made sure that not only he profited from his office, but his family as well. The indictment lists "Family Members 1-5" as beneficiaries of his supposed shady dealings, one of which is thought to be Andrea Jefferson, Bill's wife and manager of ANJ Group LLC which reportedly received money from the iGate deal. Andrea made headlines back in 1994 when she was paid $50,000 by Grambling State University to teach a class which had a grand total of one student. She also sued Southern University in 2003 for firing her from a top position. Part of the settlement was a job as a fundraiser which paid $72,000/year and it is rumoured that hubby Bill used his local clout to arrange the settlement.
The indictment also indicates that his brother Mose (referred to as "Family Member 2") was also part of the scheme. Mose Jefferson has recently been linked to a bribery scheme involving Ellenese Brooks-Sims, former New Orleans School Superintendant, who entered a guilty plea concerning $140,000 dollars in bribe money she received from Mose, a former cog in Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's political outfit. (And we all know what a shining example of political incorruptability that outfit was.)
But like Bill, Mose knows how to take care of the family too. Mose is the head of BEP Consulting which owns an eight unit building in Central City. This building houses the "unofficial" HQ of Bill's political group, the Progressive Democrats, the office of former city council-whore Renee Gill Pratt and some of the Jefferson families other "non-profit" organizations. Ownership of the building has been shuffled between many of the Jefferson's through the years, each time being sold for just $10,000. Care Unlimited, one of the Jefferson's pet projects housed in the building, has received millions of dollars in state grants thanks to Gill-Pratt who is also a former (or possibly current) girlfriend of Mose and former aide to Bill. One of the units in the building is rented out for 21,000 taxpayer dollars per year, (twice the cost the building was purchased for by BEP,) to current state rep Jalila Jefferson-Bullock, daughter of Bill.
But wait... there's more!
Yet another sister, Betty, was helped to the tax assessors office by Bill and his political groups. Soon after winning the job in 1998, she slashed the taxes on a 27 unit apartment building owned by brother Bill to almost nothing. Betty and Mose also garnered criticism in trying to profit from a deal involving school uniforms in 1989 when she sat on the New Orleans School Board but no wrongdoing was found.
Not related by blood, but by marriage, (and possibly by deed,) Bill's brother-in-law, former state judge Alan Green, is currently serving a four-year sentence for accepting bribes from a bail bonds company in Jefferson Parish.
And some time back, Bill inked a deal with Daimler-Chrysler to donate 16 automobiles to the city for help in recoving from Hurricane Katrina. Although the vehicles were signed over to the New Orleans City Council, most were then handed back to "non-profit" organizations run by Jefferson family members or associated with the Jefferson political machine. In fact, at least four of the autos were donated by then current councilwoman Renee Gill-Pratt. (Remember her?) She sent two of the autos to Care Unlimited, one of which she had been using as her personal vehicle until she was caught. Soon after her defeat in the last election she was hired by, (take a guess,) Care Unlimited, where she has resumed use of her shiny new auto. Luckily, the money still rolls into Care Unlimited thanks to generous help from Jalila Jefferson Bullock who now sits in the legislative seat once held by Gill-Pratt.
The FBI is currently investigating organizations for- and non-profit connected to the Jefferson camp, including the Central City Adult Education Agency, N.O. Drug Education Intervention, Care Unlimited Inc., and Orleans Metropolitan Housing and Community Development Incorporated. One has to wonder how many worms you have to uncover in a basket of apples before you realize that they're all rotten. Why has no-one ever put all this together before? Surely New Orleans District Attorney Eddie Jordan is smart enough to connect the dots. Oh, but then Eddie is a close and personal friend of Bill. In fact, Bill was instrumental in furthering Jordan's career. Jordan, likewise, is a staunch supporter of Jefferson. Fucking Scumbags.
From the cotton fields of Lake Providence, (where Bill and his siblings were born and raised,) to REMCO, (a rent-to-own company owned by the family which faced continual tax problems,) to the slumlord years of the 80's, (Bill's housing units were some of the most distressed in the city and were plagued by tax problems,) and to Harvard and law firms, (yes, more tax woes,) political organizations and Capitol Hill, life has been a strange road for the Jefferson family. The family farm on Jefferson Road, (yes, named after the family,) in Lake providence no longer stands, destroyed ages ago by a tornado. The cemetery where his parents are buried lies along the road amid the cotton fields they once worked, but at the end of Jefferson Road there's a very foreboding structure. Surrounded by fences and razorwire stands the Lake Providence Jail. Now that's irony for you.
Certainly one bad apple don't spoil the whole damn bunch, but in the case of the Jefferson family, the bunch may have been spoiled to begin with. I really hate to call negative attention to New Orleans, (yet again,) but my calling is quite clear. After doing a little digging through the Times-Picayune, I collected a few tidbits which I'd now like to share, but get the Alka-Selzer out, what follows is not for the weak of stomach.
US Representative William Jefferson is currently under indictment for 16 counts of bribery, racketeering, fraud and obstruction of justice in a case which has already seen two of his cronies plead guilty. This would be the iGate deal in which Jefferson allegedly used his official clout to broker deals in Africa. Despite the fact that Jefferson was caught on tape soliciting a bribe and was found with $90,000 of that money squirrelled away in his freezer, (which he has yet to "rationally explain" as he promised,) an amazing number of his constituents refuse to believe he is guilty, instead opting for all manner of explanations from "political witch-hunts" to racism. Indeed, his constituents are so enamored of him, he easily coasted to a recent re-election victory over opponent Karen Carter even though her funds outweighed his at a ratio of 4.5 to 1. (Jefferson had slightly over 50% of the vote. Of course, only about 20% of the registered voters bothered to go to the polls.)
According to documents, Bill Jefferson made sure that not only he profited from his office, but his family as well. The indictment lists "Family Members 1-5" as beneficiaries of his supposed shady dealings, one of which is thought to be Andrea Jefferson, Bill's wife and manager of ANJ Group LLC which reportedly received money from the iGate deal. Andrea made headlines back in 1994 when she was paid $50,000 by Grambling State University to teach a class which had a grand total of one student. She also sued Southern University in 2003 for firing her from a top position. Part of the settlement was a job as a fundraiser which paid $72,000/year and it is rumoured that hubby Bill used his local clout to arrange the settlement.
The indictment also indicates that his brother Mose (referred to as "Family Member 2") was also part of the scheme. Mose Jefferson has recently been linked to a bribery scheme involving Ellenese Brooks-Sims, former New Orleans School Superintendant, who entered a guilty plea concerning $140,000 dollars in bribe money she received from Mose, a former cog in Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's political outfit. (And we all know what a shining example of political incorruptability that outfit was.)
But like Bill, Mose knows how to take care of the family too. Mose is the head of BEP Consulting which owns an eight unit building in Central City. This building houses the "unofficial" HQ of Bill's political group, the Progressive Democrats, the office of former city council-whore Renee Gill Pratt and some of the Jefferson families other "non-profit" organizations. Ownership of the building has been shuffled between many of the Jefferson's through the years, each time being sold for just $10,000. Care Unlimited, one of the Jefferson's pet projects housed in the building, has received millions of dollars in state grants thanks to Gill-Pratt who is also a former (or possibly current) girlfriend of Mose and former aide to Bill. One of the units in the building is rented out for 21,000 taxpayer dollars per year, (twice the cost the building was purchased for by BEP,) to current state rep Jalila Jefferson-Bullock, daughter of Bill.
But wait... there's more!
Yet another sister, Betty, was helped to the tax assessors office by Bill and his political groups. Soon after winning the job in 1998, she slashed the taxes on a 27 unit apartment building owned by brother Bill to almost nothing. Betty and Mose also garnered criticism in trying to profit from a deal involving school uniforms in 1989 when she sat on the New Orleans School Board but no wrongdoing was found.
Not related by blood, but by marriage, (and possibly by deed,) Bill's brother-in-law, former state judge Alan Green, is currently serving a four-year sentence for accepting bribes from a bail bonds company in Jefferson Parish.
And some time back, Bill inked a deal with Daimler-Chrysler to donate 16 automobiles to the city for help in recoving from Hurricane Katrina. Although the vehicles were signed over to the New Orleans City Council, most were then handed back to "non-profit" organizations run by Jefferson family members or associated with the Jefferson political machine. In fact, at least four of the autos were donated by then current councilwoman Renee Gill-Pratt. (Remember her?) She sent two of the autos to Care Unlimited, one of which she had been using as her personal vehicle until she was caught. Soon after her defeat in the last election she was hired by, (take a guess,) Care Unlimited, where she has resumed use of her shiny new auto. Luckily, the money still rolls into Care Unlimited thanks to generous help from Jalila Jefferson Bullock who now sits in the legislative seat once held by Gill-Pratt.
The FBI is currently investigating organizations for- and non-profit connected to the Jefferson camp, including the Central City Adult Education Agency, N.O. Drug Education Intervention, Care Unlimited Inc., and Orleans Metropolitan Housing and Community Development Incorporated. One has to wonder how many worms you have to uncover in a basket of apples before you realize that they're all rotten. Why has no-one ever put all this together before? Surely New Orleans District Attorney Eddie Jordan is smart enough to connect the dots. Oh, but then Eddie is a close and personal friend of Bill. In fact, Bill was instrumental in furthering Jordan's career. Jordan, likewise, is a staunch supporter of Jefferson. Fucking Scumbags.
From the cotton fields of Lake Providence, (where Bill and his siblings were born and raised,) to REMCO, (a rent-to-own company owned by the family which faced continual tax problems,) to the slumlord years of the 80's, (Bill's housing units were some of the most distressed in the city and were plagued by tax problems,) and to Harvard and law firms, (yes, more tax woes,) political organizations and Capitol Hill, life has been a strange road for the Jefferson family. The family farm on Jefferson Road, (yes, named after the family,) in Lake providence no longer stands, destroyed ages ago by a tornado. The cemetery where his parents are buried lies along the road amid the cotton fields they once worked, but at the end of Jefferson Road there's a very foreboding structure. Surrounded by fences and razorwire stands the Lake Providence Jail. Now that's irony for you.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Keep Yer Pants On!
This is an updated version of an earlier post.
Just when I think I can take some time off they drag me back in! Ladies and Gentles, please join me in welcoming, a so-so human being, not much of a humanitarian, and brother this cat was never no-bodys friend, in his debut appearance in the Nation of Morons, Judge Roy Pearson! The man whose idea of a good time is suing immigrant dry-cleaners for lost trousers to the tune of sixty-five million dollars! I'm assuming they were really big pants in order to fit his gargantuan balls into them!
In a nutshell, soon after becoming an administrative hearings judge in the District of Columbia, Pearson brought in several suits to Custom Cleaners, owned by Ji Nam, Ki and Soo Chung, for alterations. When he came to pick the suits up one pair of slacks was missing. He demanded the Chungs pay him $1000 dollars, the cost of the suit, but one week later the slacks were found and the Chungs refused to pay, opting instead to return the pants to Judge Pearson.
Well guess what? Pearson refused to accept the tardy trousers, (they've been hanging in the Chungs lawyers office for over a year but Pearson claims they are not his,) and continued litigation on the basis of two signs hanging in the store. "Same Day Service" and "Satisfaction Guaranteed." Hey Roy, don't you understand that "Same Day Service" doesn't apply to every service provided? If you think you're going to have multiple suits altered in one day you must be more mentally impaired than I think. As far as the other sign, "Satisfaction Guaranteed," that's an ad slogan along the lines of "Number One Film in The Country" and "Land Of The Free And Home Of The Brave." It doesn't mean anything. Grow up you whiny fuck! The world is not here to cater to your every personal whim and desire.
Oh, my apologies dear readers. Perhaps you think I'm being a trifle harsh towards Judge Roy. Let's delve further into the case, shall we? Yes, we shall.
Pearson has been using Custom Cleaners on a regular basis even though he has had multiple disagreements with the Chungs. It's only four blocks from his house. The Chungs have made three offers to Pearson of $3000, $4600 and $12,000 only to have their offers fall on deaf ears. Apparently Pearson thinks being a judge means never having to accept "I'm sorry."
Furthermore, $15,000 of the lawsuit is earmarked for a rental car to take his buisiness to another cleaner for the next 10 years. What the fuck? Since when does the Constitution of the United States guarantee you the inalienable right to a fucking convenient drycleaner? The majority of the 65 million is calculated from Pearsons' overzealous interpretation of the Districts consumer protection law. It's only a $1500 violation per day, but Pearson has added up 12 separate violations, multiplied them by over three years worth of days and then multiplied that figure by three defendants. What a complete cunt! There is so much wrong with that, not the least of which is by suing the buisiness, you can't multiply by each defendant! How in the name of Sandra Day O'Connor did you ever get through law school, much less pass the bar!
District of Columbia Judge Neal Kravitz is set to hear the case on June 11th and has stated that this is simply a case of one plaintiff and one pair of pants. Thank god for rational human beings. Other groups and individuals in the area have gathered forces in a flood of support for the Chungs who are so distraught they are thinking of returning to their native South Korea. I can only hope the Chungs are exonerated and reimbursed for their troubles and money so far lost from the case. It's impossible to expect every American to be rational, compassionate and forgiving, but shouldn't we at least expect that of our judges?
As for Pearson, the calls are coming from all corners for his immediate disbarment and he is up for review for a 10-year renewal for his judgeship. I don't know about you, but I sincerely hope stoning or caning is brought back into fashion as punishment for filing these kinds of frivolous lawsuits. And I hope they start with Judge Roy Pearson.
UPDATE: Last week, good ol' Roy took the stand and promptly burst into tears. Between sobs and snot wipes, he explained the mental anguish this whole affair has caused him. In fact, he became so apparently distraught that a recess had to be called. Since the initial posting Pearson has reduced his price to $54 million. How nice. He has also attempted to swing the center of the trial away from the pants in order to focus on the "misleading signs" posted in the Chungs store. Meanwhile, the Chung's lawyers are attempting to portray Pearson as a disturbed crank whose recent divorce has caused him financial troubles. I'd love to hear what Mrs Roy has to say on the whole subject.
Just when I think I can take some time off they drag me back in! Ladies and Gentles, please join me in welcoming, a so-so human being, not much of a humanitarian, and brother this cat was never no-bodys friend, in his debut appearance in the Nation of Morons, Judge Roy Pearson! The man whose idea of a good time is suing immigrant dry-cleaners for lost trousers to the tune of sixty-five million dollars! I'm assuming they were really big pants in order to fit his gargantuan balls into them!
In a nutshell, soon after becoming an administrative hearings judge in the District of Columbia, Pearson brought in several suits to Custom Cleaners, owned by Ji Nam, Ki and Soo Chung, for alterations. When he came to pick the suits up one pair of slacks was missing. He demanded the Chungs pay him $1000 dollars, the cost of the suit, but one week later the slacks were found and the Chungs refused to pay, opting instead to return the pants to Judge Pearson.
Well guess what? Pearson refused to accept the tardy trousers, (they've been hanging in the Chungs lawyers office for over a year but Pearson claims they are not his,) and continued litigation on the basis of two signs hanging in the store. "Same Day Service" and "Satisfaction Guaranteed." Hey Roy, don't you understand that "Same Day Service" doesn't apply to every service provided? If you think you're going to have multiple suits altered in one day you must be more mentally impaired than I think. As far as the other sign, "Satisfaction Guaranteed," that's an ad slogan along the lines of "Number One Film in The Country" and "Land Of The Free And Home Of The Brave." It doesn't mean anything. Grow up you whiny fuck! The world is not here to cater to your every personal whim and desire.
Oh, my apologies dear readers. Perhaps you think I'm being a trifle harsh towards Judge Roy. Let's delve further into the case, shall we? Yes, we shall.
Pearson has been using Custom Cleaners on a regular basis even though he has had multiple disagreements with the Chungs. It's only four blocks from his house. The Chungs have made three offers to Pearson of $3000, $4600 and $12,000 only to have their offers fall on deaf ears. Apparently Pearson thinks being a judge means never having to accept "I'm sorry."
Furthermore, $15,000 of the lawsuit is earmarked for a rental car to take his buisiness to another cleaner for the next 10 years. What the fuck? Since when does the Constitution of the United States guarantee you the inalienable right to a fucking convenient drycleaner? The majority of the 65 million is calculated from Pearsons' overzealous interpretation of the Districts consumer protection law. It's only a $1500 violation per day, but Pearson has added up 12 separate violations, multiplied them by over three years worth of days and then multiplied that figure by three defendants. What a complete cunt! There is so much wrong with that, not the least of which is by suing the buisiness, you can't multiply by each defendant! How in the name of Sandra Day O'Connor did you ever get through law school, much less pass the bar!
District of Columbia Judge Neal Kravitz is set to hear the case on June 11th and has stated that this is simply a case of one plaintiff and one pair of pants. Thank god for rational human beings. Other groups and individuals in the area have gathered forces in a flood of support for the Chungs who are so distraught they are thinking of returning to their native South Korea. I can only hope the Chungs are exonerated and reimbursed for their troubles and money so far lost from the case. It's impossible to expect every American to be rational, compassionate and forgiving, but shouldn't we at least expect that of our judges?
As for Pearson, the calls are coming from all corners for his immediate disbarment and he is up for review for a 10-year renewal for his judgeship. I don't know about you, but I sincerely hope stoning or caning is brought back into fashion as punishment for filing these kinds of frivolous lawsuits. And I hope they start with Judge Roy Pearson.
UPDATE: Last week, good ol' Roy took the stand and promptly burst into tears. Between sobs and snot wipes, he explained the mental anguish this whole affair has caused him. In fact, he became so apparently distraught that a recess had to be called. Since the initial posting Pearson has reduced his price to $54 million. How nice. He has also attempted to swing the center of the trial away from the pants in order to focus on the "misleading signs" posted in the Chungs store. Meanwhile, the Chung's lawyers are attempting to portray Pearson as a disturbed crank whose recent divorce has caused him financial troubles. I'd love to hear what Mrs Roy has to say on the whole subject.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Censr
Recently I joined a group called 24 Hours of Flickr. The purpose of this group was to take photos all day on 05/05/07, then submit your best shot to the group for possible publication in a book with Flickr donating a very small portion of the proceeds to charity. What a cool idea! What a fun project!
What a big joke!
Now the group thing centered around a single day is nothing new to Flickr. In fact, just before they started their clever 05/05/07 campaign, a friend of mine started 07/07/07 with the intent of publishing the best photos submitted in a book in which all profits would be donated to UNICEF. Coincedence? Probably, but hey, Flickr's a big place and there's always room in the world for a little charity. However, this is not the big issue here. The issue is censorship.
A member of the group, licht_faenger, posted a topic about censorship and why he was leaving the group. He had some nudes on his page that were marked as moderate content and they were unceremoniously deleted. He had a problem with the fact that there were much more explicit photos on Flickr marked as safe content which were still up for all to see. (I've since visited his site and the remaining nudes were well done and not offensive at all.) People started discussing the fact that since Flickr is now owned by Yahoo, who caters to foreign powers and censors their content. Yahoo's position is that they're at least bringing a little bit of the internet to the poor oppressed people of those nations, (Germany, South America, China and others.) Popular opinion is that Yahoo is simply doing whatever they can to make a quick buck from those nations while not providing full access to the web. (BTW, licht_faenger is German and seems to speak Google-Translated English. His ire was further spurred by the fact that the first book release party for 05/05/07 was held in Germany.)
Well it started to snowball as more members joined the discussions. Two more similar topics appeared and were going strong until last night when Heather, a Flickr staffer, (and as far as I can tell, the only Flickr staffer,) deleted the topics with no explanation. (Can you see the irony?) Someone else started a topic asking what happened to the original censorship topics and it was quickly locked, directing the poster to search elsewhere for censorship discussions. I myself posted a topic explaining that yes, the threads had been deleted by Heather. This too was deleted less than five minutes after I posted it!
Forgive me if I'm out of line here, but if group members want to discuss censorship, why not let them? About the same time the deletions occurred, the folowing appeared on the group page: Please note that issues off topic from the 24 hours of Flickr may be removed from the group discussions as there are more appropriate and official topics where you can share your feedback with the team. Really? here's a small sampling of topics which Flickr deems "group related:" Do You Believe In God, Have You Ever Been To Kerala, Help On Buying A Camera, Mac or PC, Join "Group X", plus an incredible amount of people posting photos which have nothing whatsoever to do with the group. You know, cats and strawberries, your favorite shot, etcetera. There are even two new groups started by group members: Photos In The Book and Photos Not In The Book. Hello? Just look at the original group photos!
At the risk of infuriating Flickr further, I posted a goodbye message: You Win. In light of recent events, I also shall be leaving the group. I'm sure you'll survive without me. I enjoyed many of the photos seen here and had a pretty good time up until yesterday. Good luck. Amazingly it still stands, (40 minutes and counting) but I'm sure it will disappear soon enough. No big deal, I'll continue to post photos to my site until they grow weary of me but I'll definitely think twice before joining another "Official" Flickr group.
I really wish I had saved those initial threads. Some good stuff in there. One member thought it was ridiculous to compare Flickr to Nazi Germany. Indeed it was. Flickr is much more like Vichy, France, except that flickr is not currently threatened with immediate death if it does not follow orders. The real Nazis are the countries which demand censorship by Yahoo. Sadly, Yahoo complies in order to keep that cash flowing in. Being stuck in the middle, I guess that makes Yahoo the Gestapo or the SS. I dunno, the whole thing just sickens me.
Well, the positive side is that I remembered licht_faengers name and was able to track down a few more of the individuals involved in the original discussion. As soon as this is posted, they will be invited to continue on and so are you. At least until Yahoo buys Google.
For more on the German censorship issue, check out this Wired article.
What a big joke!
Now the group thing centered around a single day is nothing new to Flickr. In fact, just before they started their clever 05/05/07 campaign, a friend of mine started 07/07/07 with the intent of publishing the best photos submitted in a book in which all profits would be donated to UNICEF. Coincedence? Probably, but hey, Flickr's a big place and there's always room in the world for a little charity. However, this is not the big issue here. The issue is censorship.
A member of the group, licht_faenger, posted a topic about censorship and why he was leaving the group. He had some nudes on his page that were marked as moderate content and they were unceremoniously deleted. He had a problem with the fact that there were much more explicit photos on Flickr marked as safe content which were still up for all to see. (I've since visited his site and the remaining nudes were well done and not offensive at all.) People started discussing the fact that since Flickr is now owned by Yahoo, who caters to foreign powers and censors their content. Yahoo's position is that they're at least bringing a little bit of the internet to the poor oppressed people of those nations, (Germany, South America, China and others.) Popular opinion is that Yahoo is simply doing whatever they can to make a quick buck from those nations while not providing full access to the web. (BTW, licht_faenger is German and seems to speak Google-Translated English. His ire was further spurred by the fact that the first book release party for 05/05/07 was held in Germany.)
Well it started to snowball as more members joined the discussions. Two more similar topics appeared and were going strong until last night when Heather, a Flickr staffer, (and as far as I can tell, the only Flickr staffer,) deleted the topics with no explanation. (Can you see the irony?) Someone else started a topic asking what happened to the original censorship topics and it was quickly locked, directing the poster to search elsewhere for censorship discussions. I myself posted a topic explaining that yes, the threads had been deleted by Heather. This too was deleted less than five minutes after I posted it!
Forgive me if I'm out of line here, but if group members want to discuss censorship, why not let them? About the same time the deletions occurred, the folowing appeared on the group page: Please note that issues off topic from the 24 hours of Flickr may be removed from the group discussions as there are more appropriate and official topics where you can share your feedback with the team. Really? here's a small sampling of topics which Flickr deems "group related:" Do You Believe In God, Have You Ever Been To Kerala, Help On Buying A Camera, Mac or PC, Join "Group X", plus an incredible amount of people posting photos which have nothing whatsoever to do with the group. You know, cats and strawberries, your favorite shot, etcetera. There are even two new groups started by group members: Photos In The Book and Photos Not In The Book. Hello? Just look at the original group photos!
At the risk of infuriating Flickr further, I posted a goodbye message: You Win. In light of recent events, I also shall be leaving the group. I'm sure you'll survive without me. I enjoyed many of the photos seen here and had a pretty good time up until yesterday. Good luck. Amazingly it still stands, (40 minutes and counting) but I'm sure it will disappear soon enough. No big deal, I'll continue to post photos to my site until they grow weary of me but I'll definitely think twice before joining another "Official" Flickr group.
I really wish I had saved those initial threads. Some good stuff in there. One member thought it was ridiculous to compare Flickr to Nazi Germany. Indeed it was. Flickr is much more like Vichy, France, except that flickr is not currently threatened with immediate death if it does not follow orders. The real Nazis are the countries which demand censorship by Yahoo. Sadly, Yahoo complies in order to keep that cash flowing in. Being stuck in the middle, I guess that makes Yahoo the Gestapo or the SS. I dunno, the whole thing just sickens me.
Well, the positive side is that I remembered licht_faengers name and was able to track down a few more of the individuals involved in the original discussion. As soon as this is posted, they will be invited to continue on and so are you. At least until Yahoo buys Google.
For more on the German censorship issue, check out this Wired article.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
International Space Debris
This week, NASA announced that the computers onboard the International Space Station have experienced multiple failures. Currently, the Russian-made computers are barely running and if astronauts are unable to get them back up to speed, the station is in danger of being shut down for the forseeable future. Already, lobbyists and other like-minded morons on Capitol Hill are calling for further reductions in NASA funding, citing this event as proof that we are wasting our time and money in space.
Guess again folks.
It's this sort of mentality that caused the problem in the first place. The more funding was cut from NASA, the more it had to rely on partnerships with other countries to complete missions. Had NASA been funded adequately, the space station would not be powered by the Trotsky 9000. It might even have been powered by Macs, or at the very least, a really big TI99-4a. Clean cut, ass-kicking, red, white and blue technology!
Perhaps Washington does not remember, but space exploration has provided us with, (or at the very least, sped up the development of) some pretty neat stuff. Thermal and fireproof clothing, advanced robotics, MRI technnology, smoke detectors, cordless tools, medical and pharmaceutical advances, invisible braces, Ear thermometers, gaming joysticks, and satellite dishes not to mention Space Food Sticks and Tang!
From the day John F Kennedy challenged us to aim for the moon, the United States had the strongest and most effective space program in the world. Right up to the Bicentennial when we started cutting the funding. Oh sure, we made a half-hearted effort to regain some lost ground with the Shuttle Program, but it has been pretty much downhill since then. Perhaps Hollywood has been so effective at crafting their own versions of outer space since the release of Star Wars, that the realities of space exploration pale by comparison.
What else is there to spend the money on? Health care? Welfare? Immigration? The War On Terror? None of those projects have increased quality of life in this or any other country yet. In fact, those programs continue to siphon tax dollars at an increasingly rapid rate and do nothing to address the issues they were funded for in the first place. Compare what those programs have accomplished to the list above and draw your own conclusions.
Maybe we should listen to the Luddites on Capitol Hill and sit around here on our little rock sticking berries up our noses until some freindly intergalactic race drops by and gives us all long range space cruisers complete with 2 terabyte i-pods. Personally, I think we might be better off if we did, but I can't help wondering how much more we'd be missing by not being out there.
By the way, NASA... have you tried Ctrl-Alt-Del?
Guess again folks.
It's this sort of mentality that caused the problem in the first place. The more funding was cut from NASA, the more it had to rely on partnerships with other countries to complete missions. Had NASA been funded adequately, the space station would not be powered by the Trotsky 9000. It might even have been powered by Macs, or at the very least, a really big TI99-4a. Clean cut, ass-kicking, red, white and blue technology!
Perhaps Washington does not remember, but space exploration has provided us with, (or at the very least, sped up the development of) some pretty neat stuff. Thermal and fireproof clothing, advanced robotics, MRI technnology, smoke detectors, cordless tools, medical and pharmaceutical advances, invisible braces, Ear thermometers, gaming joysticks, and satellite dishes not to mention Space Food Sticks and Tang!
From the day John F Kennedy challenged us to aim for the moon, the United States had the strongest and most effective space program in the world. Right up to the Bicentennial when we started cutting the funding. Oh sure, we made a half-hearted effort to regain some lost ground with the Shuttle Program, but it has been pretty much downhill since then. Perhaps Hollywood has been so effective at crafting their own versions of outer space since the release of Star Wars, that the realities of space exploration pale by comparison.
What else is there to spend the money on? Health care? Welfare? Immigration? The War On Terror? None of those projects have increased quality of life in this or any other country yet. In fact, those programs continue to siphon tax dollars at an increasingly rapid rate and do nothing to address the issues they were funded for in the first place. Compare what those programs have accomplished to the list above and draw your own conclusions.
Maybe we should listen to the Luddites on Capitol Hill and sit around here on our little rock sticking berries up our noses until some freindly intergalactic race drops by and gives us all long range space cruisers complete with 2 terabyte i-pods. Personally, I think we might be better off if we did, but I can't help wondering how much more we'd be missing by not being out there.
By the way, NASA... have you tried Ctrl-Alt-Del?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Bush Announces War On Malaria
Today President George W Bush will announce his plans for the War On Malaria. Sources close to the Bush administration would not give specific details, but we here at the Nation Of Morons have managed to get our hands on some of the preliminary strategic documents.
According to these documents, the CIA and other foreign sources say that a life hating terrorist group, known as "Al Mosque-Itos" are waging an all-out jihad against the life loving peoples of the poor country of Malaria. The Bush plan calls for a "coalition of the willing" to attack these Al Mosque-Itos both on the ground and from the air with what is only described in memos as "shock and awe tactics." Copies of e-mails we acquired indicate that some cabinet members are worried about how coalition forces will be received in Malaria, but Vice-President Dick Cheney has assured them that our troops will be greeted as "liberators" and that most Malarians "might not even throw rocks at our invading forces or shoot at them very much."
According to the memos, once Malaria has been successfully stabilized, "it will only be a matter of time before the locals take advantage of the huge reward," a $50 Starbucks gift certificate, "to turn in the Al Mosque-Ito leaders," who can be identified by pictures printed on the backs of official U.S. Army playing cards. They are also recognizable by the "long needle-like barrels they all carry, which may be aluminum tubing used in making weapons of mass-destruction." During the expected two-month occupation, Malarians will be allowed to continue with their daily routine of sifting through dirt to find bugs for sustenance, while coalition forces will feast from fast food kiosks set up in the "Green Zone" at the expense of U.S. taxpayers.
One curious memo we received dealt with a planned "Mission Accomplished" photo-op to take place on board a U.S. aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific. The projected date of this event was pencilled in for April 14th, 2007, over a full month before todays invasion was to take place. A reply from Bush's Brain, Karl Rove, simply said not to "sweat the little details, it will all work out in the end. Besides, if we win, no one will bitch except for that Pelosi broad, and that's only because she is one."
The most troubling document was Bush's memo asking the army to send a "big ol' hurrak'n to M'lerya" since Hurricane Katrina was so effective in destroying the troublesome Al Mosque-Itos of New Orleans. Apparently this was explained to him as "too costly and not actually possible," but he'd still like to "give it a whirl." And speaking of cost, the president promises that the entire war won't go over $74.98, unless of course he decides to stop for fajitas on the way to the aircraft carrier in which case he says he may have to ask congress for an additional 250 trillion dollars.
When asked if the American People would support another war in which their tax dollars would pay for the education and health care of non-citizens, Bush remarked, "Hey, ah'm a 'Meruhc'n person an' I'm all healthy an' edumacated an' stuff. What're they worried about? Besides, all them new Latinameruhc'ns will be beatin' down the courthouse doors to pay their $5000 fines and that money oughtta cover it."
Senators and representatives on Capitol Hill are already in agreement according to the dictates of party lines. Republicans support the plan 113% and are already designing pork projects to add to the financing bill. (Except Texas Senator Ron Paul, who says he'll just pick up some bacon at a Waffle House on the way home.) Democrats are busy separating their right and left brains in order to more effectively rubber-stamp the War On Malaria while simultaneously denying that they voted for it in the first place. (Except Senator Hillary Clinton, who was unavailable for comment due to a particularly rigorous series of Botox injections.) Overall, sentiment for this war is at an all-time high. According to Senator Bill Jefferson from New Orleans, "I may have to get me a bigger freezer if this pig flies."
A surprising effect of this War On Malaria is the unexpected un-retirement of British Prime Minister Tony Blair. Insiders say Blair is expected to run for office once more in order to "help my slightly more stupider cousin bring violent peace to that poor, poor underpriveleged little nation of Malaria." Sources close to Blair indicate that he will send Prince Harry and a crack team of Her Majesty's Finest into the fray as soon as they can locate Malaria on a map, and right after tea and biscuits.
I hope I'll be able to bring you more on this and other subjects in the near future, but Bush sources close to my sources say that my wife is about to be outed as a covert operative for the CIA if I keep this shit up, and I may soon find myself unable to circulate freely among the hoi-polloi of Capitol Hill. Only time will tell.
According to these documents, the CIA and other foreign sources say that a life hating terrorist group, known as "Al Mosque-Itos" are waging an all-out jihad against the life loving peoples of the poor country of Malaria. The Bush plan calls for a "coalition of the willing" to attack these Al Mosque-Itos both on the ground and from the air with what is only described in memos as "shock and awe tactics." Copies of e-mails we acquired indicate that some cabinet members are worried about how coalition forces will be received in Malaria, but Vice-President Dick Cheney has assured them that our troops will be greeted as "liberators" and that most Malarians "might not even throw rocks at our invading forces or shoot at them very much."
According to the memos, once Malaria has been successfully stabilized, "it will only be a matter of time before the locals take advantage of the huge reward," a $50 Starbucks gift certificate, "to turn in the Al Mosque-Ito leaders," who can be identified by pictures printed on the backs of official U.S. Army playing cards. They are also recognizable by the "long needle-like barrels they all carry, which may be aluminum tubing used in making weapons of mass-destruction." During the expected two-month occupation, Malarians will be allowed to continue with their daily routine of sifting through dirt to find bugs for sustenance, while coalition forces will feast from fast food kiosks set up in the "Green Zone" at the expense of U.S. taxpayers.
One curious memo we received dealt with a planned "Mission Accomplished" photo-op to take place on board a U.S. aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific. The projected date of this event was pencilled in for April 14th, 2007, over a full month before todays invasion was to take place. A reply from Bush's Brain, Karl Rove, simply said not to "sweat the little details, it will all work out in the end. Besides, if we win, no one will bitch except for that Pelosi broad, and that's only because she is one."
The most troubling document was Bush's memo asking the army to send a "big ol' hurrak'n to M'lerya" since Hurricane Katrina was so effective in destroying the troublesome Al Mosque-Itos of New Orleans. Apparently this was explained to him as "too costly and not actually possible," but he'd still like to "give it a whirl." And speaking of cost, the president promises that the entire war won't go over $74.98, unless of course he decides to stop for fajitas on the way to the aircraft carrier in which case he says he may have to ask congress for an additional 250 trillion dollars.
When asked if the American People would support another war in which their tax dollars would pay for the education and health care of non-citizens, Bush remarked, "Hey, ah'm a 'Meruhc'n person an' I'm all healthy an' edumacated an' stuff. What're they worried about? Besides, all them new Latinameruhc'ns will be beatin' down the courthouse doors to pay their $5000 fines and that money oughtta cover it."
Senators and representatives on Capitol Hill are already in agreement according to the dictates of party lines. Republicans support the plan 113% and are already designing pork projects to add to the financing bill. (Except Texas Senator Ron Paul, who says he'll just pick up some bacon at a Waffle House on the way home.) Democrats are busy separating their right and left brains in order to more effectively rubber-stamp the War On Malaria while simultaneously denying that they voted for it in the first place. (Except Senator Hillary Clinton, who was unavailable for comment due to a particularly rigorous series of Botox injections.) Overall, sentiment for this war is at an all-time high. According to Senator Bill Jefferson from New Orleans, "I may have to get me a bigger freezer if this pig flies."
A surprising effect of this War On Malaria is the unexpected un-retirement of British Prime Minister Tony Blair. Insiders say Blair is expected to run for office once more in order to "help my slightly more stupider cousin bring violent peace to that poor, poor underpriveleged little nation of Malaria." Sources close to Blair indicate that he will send Prince Harry and a crack team of Her Majesty's Finest into the fray as soon as they can locate Malaria on a map, and right after tea and biscuits.
I hope I'll be able to bring you more on this and other subjects in the near future, but Bush sources close to my sources say that my wife is about to be outed as a covert operative for the CIA if I keep this shit up, and I may soon find myself unable to circulate freely among the hoi-polloi of Capitol Hill. Only time will tell.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Feds Screw Katrina Victims. Again.
The Washington Post recently reported that the Bush Administration turned down over 800 million dollars in Hurricane Katrina aid from foreign donors. A sampling of offers wasted or rejected: cash money, oil which could be sold for cash, cruise ships for housing, medical supplies, food and water, and search and rescue teams. The U.S. declined 54 of 77 offers of aid from Britain, Canada, and Isreal alone. The incompetence of the Bush administration never ceases to amaze me, so I would like to apologize to all the nations who offered help. Not only that, I would like to accept your offers.
My home took in only about a foot of water. Not much in comparison to what many people lost, but I was not allowed to return to my home and begin clean up for one and a half months. In that time, the furniture and walls soaked up the canal water, the food rotted in the refrigerator and the rain came through the holes in the roof. Since then I've dealt with more than one shady contractor, (they never come back once they realize you're not going to pay them until they begin the work,) and a few honest ones. Dial One put a new roof over my head by Christmas 2005 but the shingles were terrible and failed to sit properly on the roof. After one phone call to my contractor, he had representatives from the manufacturer on-site for an inspection and two weeks later they re-roofed my home at no cost. I also used them for my electrical and plumbing contracting and they've so far performed well.
That said, I'm still running out of money. I was underinsured on the property and content and coupled with the huge increase in materials and labor post-Katrina, I'm finding it difficult to complete my repairs. I tried to apply to the Louisiana Road Home Program, but since I was insured and did not suffer "more than 50% damage" to my home I was ineligible for assistance. Here's where the nations of the world come in; I would like to accept your gracious offers of aid.
To return my home to it's pre-storm condition I'm still short about $20-30,000. this money will be used for the bottom half of my walls, (the sheetrock soaked up canal water and began to mold and had to be removed,) repainting the walls, replacing the electrical outlets, (even though they took no water and currently work, the city informs me they must all be replaced) replacing the kitchen cabinets and appliances which took in water due to a hole in the roof, patio and sidewalk repair, (the concrete has cracked and shifted due to subsidence from floodwaters and even though the city claims to own the sidewalks, they insist it's my job to pay for the repairs,) landscaping, (you have no idea how many new weeds and plants have taken root where the floodwaters stood,) storage for what possessions still remain while the work is done, and repainting the outside of the house. I've already started painting in a red and white color scheme, (I'm of Polish descent,) but if you want, I can paint in the colors of whichever nation would like to throw some cash my way.
Now I'm not just asking for money, (and I really don't expect to get any,) because if there are roving bands of foreign contractors looking to donate materials and labor I'll accept that too! You can stay here with me while you work, there are four bedrooms and two bathrooms. If any nation wishes to help me out here, I'll gratefully erect a brass plaque on the front of the house detailing your contributions to returning my home and my life to a reasonable sense of order. Please send an e-mail and I can arrange for one of your representatives to visit my home. I wouldn't ask you to donate without confirming my veracity.
By the way, this includes the United States of America. If the current administration wishes to take care of its own, that would be just fine by me, but I'm not expecting much more from them than the usual ignorance and carelessness. Thank you all and I look forward to hearing from you!
My home took in only about a foot of water. Not much in comparison to what many people lost, but I was not allowed to return to my home and begin clean up for one and a half months. In that time, the furniture and walls soaked up the canal water, the food rotted in the refrigerator and the rain came through the holes in the roof. Since then I've dealt with more than one shady contractor, (they never come back once they realize you're not going to pay them until they begin the work,) and a few honest ones. Dial One put a new roof over my head by Christmas 2005 but the shingles were terrible and failed to sit properly on the roof. After one phone call to my contractor, he had representatives from the manufacturer on-site for an inspection and two weeks later they re-roofed my home at no cost. I also used them for my electrical and plumbing contracting and they've so far performed well.
That said, I'm still running out of money. I was underinsured on the property and content and coupled with the huge increase in materials and labor post-Katrina, I'm finding it difficult to complete my repairs. I tried to apply to the Louisiana Road Home Program, but since I was insured and did not suffer "more than 50% damage" to my home I was ineligible for assistance. Here's where the nations of the world come in; I would like to accept your gracious offers of aid.
To return my home to it's pre-storm condition I'm still short about $20-30,000. this money will be used for the bottom half of my walls, (the sheetrock soaked up canal water and began to mold and had to be removed,) repainting the walls, replacing the electrical outlets, (even though they took no water and currently work, the city informs me they must all be replaced) replacing the kitchen cabinets and appliances which took in water due to a hole in the roof, patio and sidewalk repair, (the concrete has cracked and shifted due to subsidence from floodwaters and even though the city claims to own the sidewalks, they insist it's my job to pay for the repairs,) landscaping, (you have no idea how many new weeds and plants have taken root where the floodwaters stood,) storage for what possessions still remain while the work is done, and repainting the outside of the house. I've already started painting in a red and white color scheme, (I'm of Polish descent,) but if you want, I can paint in the colors of whichever nation would like to throw some cash my way.
Now I'm not just asking for money, (and I really don't expect to get any,) because if there are roving bands of foreign contractors looking to donate materials and labor I'll accept that too! You can stay here with me while you work, there are four bedrooms and two bathrooms. If any nation wishes to help me out here, I'll gratefully erect a brass plaque on the front of the house detailing your contributions to returning my home and my life to a reasonable sense of order. Please send an e-mail and I can arrange for one of your representatives to visit my home. I wouldn't ask you to donate without confirming my veracity.
By the way, this includes the United States of America. If the current administration wishes to take care of its own, that would be just fine by me, but I'm not expecting much more from them than the usual ignorance and carelessness. Thank you all and I look forward to hearing from you!
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Imussing of Ed Blakely
New Orleans Mayor C Ray Nagin actually suggested that Recovery Director Ed Blakely stop making comments and focus on helping the city recover. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is. Apparently Mayor Wonka is suffering from a serious case of 'Do As I Say, Not As I Do.'
Blakely is currently being 'Imussed' for his recent comments in the New York Times in which he described New Orleans as a third-world country, compared our racial divide to that of Sunnis and Shiites, called the locals insular, and implied that local buffoons are impeding our recovery progress. (You heard it here first folks! Imussed: When someone makes a public comment which causes people to cry out for their immediate firing, stoning, incarceration, etc. I considered 'Nagined' but I'm not naming anything after that idiot.)
Fact: New Orleans is like a third-world country. We all know it and until Blakely was quoted in the paper we all were proud of it in a twisted way. It was a perverse badge of pride in the locals that we didn't operate like other cities. It set us apart and added to the charm of the city. Get over it and move on.
Fact: Blakely is wrong in comparing the racial divide in New Orleans to Sunnis and Shiites. Those groups attack and kill each other for religious beliefs. Here in New Orleans, it's largely 'African-Americans' killing each other over trivial crap like drugs. While there is a sense that racism is rampant in New Orleans, it's mainly kept alive by the 'African-American' community. New Orleans is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and we pretty much seem to be getting along except for a scant few who will never be satisfied with anything.
Fact: New Orleans locals are insular. Most people in the world are insular as it's more comfortable mixing with the familiar than it is trying to fit into new situations. There are certainly those locals who get along well with pretty much anyone, but for the most part, while this city desperately tries to get visitors to insert their hard earned money into our economy, there are those of us who glower at visitors from behind our daiquiris and mutter "fucking tourists." Grow a pair and admit it. I've done it, but it's usually aimed at those visitors who can't handle their liquor and end up spewing their whiskey-steeped Crawfish Meuniere across the hoods of parked cars in the French Quarter. Next.
Fact: Local buffoons are hindering the recovery process. There are folks out there like Sydney Torres who are trying very hard to help this city recover and doing a damn fine job. Then there are the buffoons like the folks at Dial One Plumbing, who so far have done excellent work for me, but seem completely inept at turning my paperwork over to the City of Kenner so I can get my gas service turned back on. It's been months now guys and I'd really like to take a hot bath without driving across town! Local buffoons exist here as they do everywhere else. We even elect them to high office once in a while. Deal with it.
As for Blakely, just because he's not far off from the mark this time doesn't mean he's not a moron. Since arriving here and taking the Recovery Director job, he has emulated Mayor Ray-Ray by using taxpayer money to fly wherever he wants, whenever he wants instead of doing the job for which he is being paid a substantial amount of our money. Like Ray-Ray, his head is full of conspiracy theories which he expounds on frequently, such as the "made-up" census numbers he believes falsely bloated the Pre-Katrina demographics of the city so it would qualify for "certain benefits." Blakely also said in an AP interview that he ran this city. Well, someone should, but not certainly this dink.
The upshot of all this is that the local buffoons have taken offense at Blakelys comments and are now calling for his immediate termination. To spot the buffoons, just look for those who doth protest too much. Cooler heads are taking it in stride, namely, City Councilwoman Stacey Head who was quoted thusly: "I think a lot of his comments hit the nail on the head... I don't take offense to his comments, and I think there are problems in the city we need to change." As for Local Buffoon Numero Uno, Mayor Nagin, he would do well to heed his own advice which oddly enough is the same thing I suggested to him over a year ago. For those with short memories, I shall repeat myself: Sit down, shut up and fix the city. Welcome to the Nation, Ed, don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way in.
Blakely is currently being 'Imussed' for his recent comments in the New York Times in which he described New Orleans as a third-world country, compared our racial divide to that of Sunnis and Shiites, called the locals insular, and implied that local buffoons are impeding our recovery progress. (You heard it here first folks! Imussed: When someone makes a public comment which causes people to cry out for their immediate firing, stoning, incarceration, etc. I considered 'Nagined' but I'm not naming anything after that idiot.)
Fact: New Orleans is like a third-world country. We all know it and until Blakely was quoted in the paper we all were proud of it in a twisted way. It was a perverse badge of pride in the locals that we didn't operate like other cities. It set us apart and added to the charm of the city. Get over it and move on.
Fact: Blakely is wrong in comparing the racial divide in New Orleans to Sunnis and Shiites. Those groups attack and kill each other for religious beliefs. Here in New Orleans, it's largely 'African-Americans' killing each other over trivial crap like drugs. While there is a sense that racism is rampant in New Orleans, it's mainly kept alive by the 'African-American' community. New Orleans is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and we pretty much seem to be getting along except for a scant few who will never be satisfied with anything.
Fact: New Orleans locals are insular. Most people in the world are insular as it's more comfortable mixing with the familiar than it is trying to fit into new situations. There are certainly those locals who get along well with pretty much anyone, but for the most part, while this city desperately tries to get visitors to insert their hard earned money into our economy, there are those of us who glower at visitors from behind our daiquiris and mutter "fucking tourists." Grow a pair and admit it. I've done it, but it's usually aimed at those visitors who can't handle their liquor and end up spewing their whiskey-steeped Crawfish Meuniere across the hoods of parked cars in the French Quarter. Next.
Fact: Local buffoons are hindering the recovery process. There are folks out there like Sydney Torres who are trying very hard to help this city recover and doing a damn fine job. Then there are the buffoons like the folks at Dial One Plumbing, who so far have done excellent work for me, but seem completely inept at turning my paperwork over to the City of Kenner so I can get my gas service turned back on. It's been months now guys and I'd really like to take a hot bath without driving across town! Local buffoons exist here as they do everywhere else. We even elect them to high office once in a while. Deal with it.
As for Blakely, just because he's not far off from the mark this time doesn't mean he's not a moron. Since arriving here and taking the Recovery Director job, he has emulated Mayor Ray-Ray by using taxpayer money to fly wherever he wants, whenever he wants instead of doing the job for which he is being paid a substantial amount of our money. Like Ray-Ray, his head is full of conspiracy theories which he expounds on frequently, such as the "made-up" census numbers he believes falsely bloated the Pre-Katrina demographics of the city so it would qualify for "certain benefits." Blakely also said in an AP interview that he ran this city. Well, someone should, but not certainly this dink.
The upshot of all this is that the local buffoons have taken offense at Blakelys comments and are now calling for his immediate termination. To spot the buffoons, just look for those who doth protest too much. Cooler heads are taking it in stride, namely, City Councilwoman Stacey Head who was quoted thusly: "I think a lot of his comments hit the nail on the head... I don't take offense to his comments, and I think there are problems in the city we need to change." As for Local Buffoon Numero Uno, Mayor Nagin, he would do well to heed his own advice which oddly enough is the same thing I suggested to him over a year ago. For those with short memories, I shall repeat myself: Sit down, shut up and fix the city. Welcome to the Nation, Ed, don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way in.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Rutgers vs Duke
Is it just me, or has anyone else out there noticed that this country is pretty fucked up? Is this what our forefathers fought and died for? For those religeous fanatics out there who believe God has a plan, is this it? Is this why our parents and grandparents fought in wars? Perhaps I should elaborate...
Scenario One: Don Imus made a joke in poor taste on his nationally syndicated cable-TV show. Al Sharpton and the Sharptonettes, (Jesse Jackson and other like-minded busybodies,) banded together in a show of solidarity and threatened boycotts of Imus' advertisers. The advertisers pulled out and the show has been cancelled. Over a bad joke. (Well, it was a bad joke two days ago. Now, according to the Big News Media, it's a "racially charged remark." Way to blow something out of proportion on a slow news day folks!)
Scenario Two: Some nobody 'escort' accused members of the Duke lacrosse team of rape. Prosecutor Mike Nifong withheld evidence of their innocence. The nobody 'escort' continued to lie to police, lawyers, judges, the media, and the entire nation. The members of the lacrosse team spent over a year under the scrutiny and derision of most of the nation and their coach was fired without evidence of any wrongdoing. Finally they were vindicated but where are Al and Jesse? Why aren't they calling for the nobody 'escort' to be fired? Is it because she's black? Hey, we all know 'escort' is a fancy word for whore. If Don Imus had used his "nappy-headed ho" comment on the nobody 'escort' would he still have a job?
For the women of the Rutgers womens basketball program, I'm sorry if you were offended by Don's remarks, but to state that you were "scarred for life" is simply insane. What you're going through now is nothing compared to what the Duke players have endured. Don't argue with me. It's true and you know it. All the ho jokes in the world wouldn't add up to a year being viewed as a rapist. And to the Rutgers coach, what red, green and purple people are you talking about? That's a statement used by closet racicsts when they try to convince others that they aren't racist at all. "Oh, I like everyone... black, white, purple and pink." For the record baby, there are really only three colors of people on this planet: white (pale pink to dark tan), black (pale brown to black), and yellow (sort of, well... yellow. Sorry.) Everything else is just variations on a theme. (Yes, everything else. There are albino whites, blacks and asiatics.)
I notice that the prosecutor in the Duke (non-)rape case may actually lose his job, license and freedom for his incredible stupidity, hubris and incompetence. That's cool, he deserves it, he brought it all upon himself and it didn't take a busload of buybodies picketing his office to do it. It's happening because it should. Because it's the correct reaction to his actions. You break laws, you pay consequences.
Imus on the other hand... he's a fucking joke. Whatever audience he has (sorry, had) probably didn't even register his comments during their morning commute. There is so much more worth fighting for in this world than faux hurt feelings. Give the girls a hankie and move on. The Gulf Coast is still a patchwork of trailer-homes and empty lots thanks to the incredible stupidity, vanity and graft of local and federal politicians! Our education system is crumbling to dust but we're building high-tech schools on the other side of the world while the people we build them for shoot at us! We're stuck in an un-winnable war that we started. A war that's had it's conditions for winning changed four fucking times already!
And we have to worry about hurting someone's feelings.
I hear people use the term, "my country," a lot. "Not in my country, you don't!" "This is my country buddy, love it or leave it!" Guess what? It's not "your country"! It's Our Country! Yours, mine and every other person with a birth certificate from the US of A. Here's a fact for you. Cram billions of people on one small rock and and chances are, more than two of them won't get along. People have the right to be offensive. You might not like it and I might not like it, but it's going to happen. Screaming for blood is not going to help anything.
Had you asked Imus to enter into some sort of racial-anger-management program, he might have learned something. That might have actually made a few closet racists out there think, "Wow. If Imus can adapt, so can I." Instead, you lit torches and chased the monster from the castle. Now all those closet racists are saying to themselves, "See, I was right! I knew they were fucking troublemakers!"
And now you can all feel proud knowing that because of your thin-skinned stupidity, NJ Governor John Corzine lies in critical condition due to a traffic accident that occurred while he was en route to mediate the pity-party between Imus and the Rutgers players. I just don't know what to do with you knee-jerk reactionaries anymore. I keep pitching 'em and y'all keep missing 'em. You want to keep calling it your country? Hell, go ahead. At least it lets me off the hook when I travel abroad.
Scenario One: Don Imus made a joke in poor taste on his nationally syndicated cable-TV show. Al Sharpton and the Sharptonettes, (Jesse Jackson and other like-minded busybodies,) banded together in a show of solidarity and threatened boycotts of Imus' advertisers. The advertisers pulled out and the show has been cancelled. Over a bad joke. (Well, it was a bad joke two days ago. Now, according to the Big News Media, it's a "racially charged remark." Way to blow something out of proportion on a slow news day folks!)
Scenario Two: Some nobody 'escort' accused members of the Duke lacrosse team of rape. Prosecutor Mike Nifong withheld evidence of their innocence. The nobody 'escort' continued to lie to police, lawyers, judges, the media, and the entire nation. The members of the lacrosse team spent over a year under the scrutiny and derision of most of the nation and their coach was fired without evidence of any wrongdoing. Finally they were vindicated but where are Al and Jesse? Why aren't they calling for the nobody 'escort' to be fired? Is it because she's black? Hey, we all know 'escort' is a fancy word for whore. If Don Imus had used his "nappy-headed ho" comment on the nobody 'escort' would he still have a job?
For the women of the Rutgers womens basketball program, I'm sorry if you were offended by Don's remarks, but to state that you were "scarred for life" is simply insane. What you're going through now is nothing compared to what the Duke players have endured. Don't argue with me. It's true and you know it. All the ho jokes in the world wouldn't add up to a year being viewed as a rapist. And to the Rutgers coach, what red, green and purple people are you talking about? That's a statement used by closet racicsts when they try to convince others that they aren't racist at all. "Oh, I like everyone... black, white, purple and pink." For the record baby, there are really only three colors of people on this planet: white (pale pink to dark tan), black (pale brown to black), and yellow (sort of, well... yellow. Sorry.) Everything else is just variations on a theme. (Yes, everything else. There are albino whites, blacks and asiatics.)
I notice that the prosecutor in the Duke (non-)rape case may actually lose his job, license and freedom for his incredible stupidity, hubris and incompetence. That's cool, he deserves it, he brought it all upon himself and it didn't take a busload of buybodies picketing his office to do it. It's happening because it should. Because it's the correct reaction to his actions. You break laws, you pay consequences.
Imus on the other hand... he's a fucking joke. Whatever audience he has (sorry, had) probably didn't even register his comments during their morning commute. There is so much more worth fighting for in this world than faux hurt feelings. Give the girls a hankie and move on. The Gulf Coast is still a patchwork of trailer-homes and empty lots thanks to the incredible stupidity, vanity and graft of local and federal politicians! Our education system is crumbling to dust but we're building high-tech schools on the other side of the world while the people we build them for shoot at us! We're stuck in an un-winnable war that we started. A war that's had it's conditions for winning changed four fucking times already!
And we have to worry about hurting someone's feelings.
I hear people use the term, "my country," a lot. "Not in my country, you don't!" "This is my country buddy, love it or leave it!" Guess what? It's not "your country"! It's Our Country! Yours, mine and every other person with a birth certificate from the US of A. Here's a fact for you. Cram billions of people on one small rock and and chances are, more than two of them won't get along. People have the right to be offensive. You might not like it and I might not like it, but it's going to happen. Screaming for blood is not going to help anything.
Had you asked Imus to enter into some sort of racial-anger-management program, he might have learned something. That might have actually made a few closet racists out there think, "Wow. If Imus can adapt, so can I." Instead, you lit torches and chased the monster from the castle. Now all those closet racists are saying to themselves, "See, I was right! I knew they were fucking troublemakers!"
And now you can all feel proud knowing that because of your thin-skinned stupidity, NJ Governor John Corzine lies in critical condition due to a traffic accident that occurred while he was en route to mediate the pity-party between Imus and the Rutgers players. I just don't know what to do with you knee-jerk reactionaries anymore. I keep pitching 'em and y'all keep missing 'em. You want to keep calling it your country? Hell, go ahead. At least it lets me off the hook when I travel abroad.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Imus & the Nappy-Heads
One of the founding principles of The United States of America is the right to Free Speech. That said, there certainly seems to be a lot of people out there using their Free Speech to call for the censorship of others. I wasn't even going to write about this because it was simply too easy. Don Imus is a "shock-jock" and it's his job to rile up the masses. He'll get yelled at, pay a fine and crawl back into his crypt until his ratings sag enough for another "accidental comment" to force open his coffin again. But the Rutgers women: that's another story...
Did Imus cross a line when he referred to the Rutgers Women's Basketball Squad as "nappy-headed hos?" Apparently he crossed someones line. Personally, I was unaware the ashen-skinned hairball was still on the air, but when I heard the comment on the news I wasn't offended, perhaps because I'm a white male. On the other hand, I didn't think it was funny either, perhaps because I'm an intelligent white male.
Now, I can certainly see how his comment can be taken as offensive, but to watch the RWBS press conference you'd think Big Don personally pissed in each of the womens mouths and set their dogs on fire. As the press conference dragged on, the players took the podium and described in detail how hurt and violated they felt, all as blandly as if they were reciting a thesis on an unfamiliar subject. There was no fire in their eyes, no emotion in their voices save that of a forced sadness, and it made me wonder if the women were all asked to do this for publicity or solidarity.
Get a grip ladies! It was an off-color, stream of (un)conciousness comment spoken with no malice aforethought. So he called you a name, big deal. Has this never happened to you before? Throughout my school days, I was the target of more than one name-calling incident almost every single day. Guess how many dumb Polock jokes I"ve heard. All of them! And yes, sometimes my feelings were hurt but only when I was the victim of someone who I looked up to or respected. Does Don Imus really have that much power over you? I'm reminded of a popular sports term all coaches use when a team is depressed beacause of a bad play or big loss... walk it off!
Is this the result of the way schools now teach our children? You know, the removal of competitive sports and grades so no child feels bad when they come in last? Have we actually turned our nations schools into cream-puff factories? Stop right there, I already know the answer. It explains why many students enter college as children and graduate as really whiny children.
Then there are the leeches, quick to attach themselves to a cause and bolster their image as caring individuals. Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and others have come out of the woodwork screaming for an apology and for Imus' head on a platter. Imus appeared on Sharptons radio show and apologized rather sincerely but Sharpton, after calling for the apology, refused to accept it as enough. He still wants Imus fired. It cuts both ways Al. What if a bunch of people called for your termination for your rejection of Imus' apology? If I remember correctly, you have never apologized for your divisive leading role in the Tawana Brawley fiasco, yet there you are holding court in your own comfy studio. Can you say hypocrite?
Now I understand that I'm guilty of the same crimes here at the Nation of Morons, but keep in mind that these are my opinions. Mostly I try to shine the light on the morons of the world to show that, like the emperor in that famous story, they have no clothes. If you've read any of my other rants, you'll notice that even though I rake the rubes over the coals, I usually never ask for resignations. True, I tell people to STFU, but that's usually reserved for when they blather on about things that have no bearing on the true issues at hand such as Kathy Blanco creating faux sports holidays when she should be governing the state.
Not only that, but at the end of each article there's a comment box. Feel free to use it, that's why I put it there. Agree or disagree, I give you the option of adding your voice to the mix. That's how dialogues begin and how solutions are found. If you cry out for the censorship of one, you cry out for the censorship of all, and sooner or later you won't be allowed to cry out at all.
Did Imus cross a line when he referred to the Rutgers Women's Basketball Squad as "nappy-headed hos?" Apparently he crossed someones line. Personally, I was unaware the ashen-skinned hairball was still on the air, but when I heard the comment on the news I wasn't offended, perhaps because I'm a white male. On the other hand, I didn't think it was funny either, perhaps because I'm an intelligent white male.
Now, I can certainly see how his comment can be taken as offensive, but to watch the RWBS press conference you'd think Big Don personally pissed in each of the womens mouths and set their dogs on fire. As the press conference dragged on, the players took the podium and described in detail how hurt and violated they felt, all as blandly as if they were reciting a thesis on an unfamiliar subject. There was no fire in their eyes, no emotion in their voices save that of a forced sadness, and it made me wonder if the women were all asked to do this for publicity or solidarity.
Get a grip ladies! It was an off-color, stream of (un)conciousness comment spoken with no malice aforethought. So he called you a name, big deal. Has this never happened to you before? Throughout my school days, I was the target of more than one name-calling incident almost every single day. Guess how many dumb Polock jokes I"ve heard. All of them! And yes, sometimes my feelings were hurt but only when I was the victim of someone who I looked up to or respected. Does Don Imus really have that much power over you? I'm reminded of a popular sports term all coaches use when a team is depressed beacause of a bad play or big loss... walk it off!
Is this the result of the way schools now teach our children? You know, the removal of competitive sports and grades so no child feels bad when they come in last? Have we actually turned our nations schools into cream-puff factories? Stop right there, I already know the answer. It explains why many students enter college as children and graduate as really whiny children.
Then there are the leeches, quick to attach themselves to a cause and bolster their image as caring individuals. Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and others have come out of the woodwork screaming for an apology and for Imus' head on a platter. Imus appeared on Sharptons radio show and apologized rather sincerely but Sharpton, after calling for the apology, refused to accept it as enough. He still wants Imus fired. It cuts both ways Al. What if a bunch of people called for your termination for your rejection of Imus' apology? If I remember correctly, you have never apologized for your divisive leading role in the Tawana Brawley fiasco, yet there you are holding court in your own comfy studio. Can you say hypocrite?
Now I understand that I'm guilty of the same crimes here at the Nation of Morons, but keep in mind that these are my opinions. Mostly I try to shine the light on the morons of the world to show that, like the emperor in that famous story, they have no clothes. If you've read any of my other rants, you'll notice that even though I rake the rubes over the coals, I usually never ask for resignations. True, I tell people to STFU, but that's usually reserved for when they blather on about things that have no bearing on the true issues at hand such as Kathy Blanco creating faux sports holidays when she should be governing the state.
Not only that, but at the end of each article there's a comment box. Feel free to use it, that's why I put it there. Agree or disagree, I give you the option of adding your voice to the mix. That's how dialogues begin and how solutions are found. If you cry out for the censorship of one, you cry out for the censorship of all, and sooner or later you won't be allowed to cry out at all.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
All About Goerge
I've noticed some things lately. First and foremost, that the United States is no longer governed for or by We The People. George Bush has finally managed to reduce the Federal Government to a one-man operation, and if you listen closely, you can hear the progression. By the way, you fellers in the Chevy Trucks with the gun rack in the window and the American Flag on the bumper can stop reading now. It's only going to piss you off.
It all started long ago when the First Ape railed against the terrorists. We had to get them because it was good for, as he is so fond of saying, "Meruhcuh." And we cried out in rage as the World Trade Center crumbled to millions of pounds of dust along with a small part of our freedom. Then came the 2004 election and what was good for "Meruhcuh" was shelved, (just for the moment,) for what was good for the Republican Party. Soon after, Hurricane Katrina came ashore and that quickly became a question of what was good for the administration. Now, as both the House and Senate have passed the most recent war bill, it has come down to what's good for George. The American people are no longer even in his blind spot.
Listen to his latest comments. "I will not sign this bill," "This is not the bill I requested." It's all about George. I suppose it was inevitable. As a descendant of English Royalty, (for the uninformed, Bush is a descendant of Edward the First and a cousin of British Prime Minister Tony Blair,) little molecules of tyranny have been floating about in his blood since birth. No doubt the near future will see even more childish behavior from the First Ape. (Oh, and as someone who was affected by Hurricane Katrina, I'd like to personally thank him for referring to the money delineated in the bill for Katrina Relief as pork. That was both tastless and tactless.)
Take, for instance, his spin on Iraq. He spares no expense making opponents feel bad if they don't play by his rules. To deny our troops the money they so desperately need makes any of his opponents un-American. Well, Georgie, you just submitted the budget for 2007 a scant few months ago. Now three months into the year you're telling us you goofed and need additional money. Was it an oversight? Did you have bad advisors? Or are you just doing it to make the democrats look bad?
And what about that whole extra troop debacle? According to Georgie, 20,000 more troops were needed in Iraq in order to secure a victory. Ignoring the fact that one month after he got his toy soldiers, he asked for another three- to six-thousand, and told everyone on Capitol Hill that if they refused to provide those troops, it meant that they didn't care about the 130,000 troops already over there. Georgie said it would send the message that "Meruhcuh" had no faith in what our boys were fighting for. Pardon me sir, but I think you had that backwards. I think when you first asked for more troops you sent the troops a message, and that message was, "I don't think those 130,000 numbnuts over there know what they're doing, so I better send them some help"
And here we stand now, debating the veracity and competence of an Attorney General Georgie demanded. He had to have Alberto Gonzales. Gonzales was the man that would make everything in the Justice Department all better. True, Georgie, he was your third or fourth choice, but Gonzales was the Ultimate Answer. Now it seems that he might also be a liar, or just incredibly stupid. And that whole 'serving at the pleasure of the President' bullshit... just stop now. You like to remind us that Bill Clinton dismissed all 93 federal prosecutors when he was elected. Indeed he did, but that fell well within the powers of his office. He installed who he wanted at the beginning of his term and let them do their jobs as they saw fit. You on the other hand, cherry-picked the few prosecutors who weren't doing your bidding and fired them in the middle of your second term. Oh, they had performance issues you say. According to their most recent job performance reviews they all passed with high marks. The only performance issues they had, were that they weren't performing the tricks you wanted them to.
The next two years will certainly be interesting to watch as the First Ape grows more petulant and loses his grip on both reality and the country. The press conferences will become more entertaining, I'm sure, but the concept and feeling of being an American will surely come with a sharp pang of guilt attatched every time George Bush opens his mouth. However, there is one thing that can help us ride out the First Apes' political death rattle and that is the fact that We The People are Americans. Not "Meruhcuns"
It all started long ago when the First Ape railed against the terrorists. We had to get them because it was good for, as he is so fond of saying, "Meruhcuh." And we cried out in rage as the World Trade Center crumbled to millions of pounds of dust along with a small part of our freedom. Then came the 2004 election and what was good for "Meruhcuh" was shelved, (just for the moment,) for what was good for the Republican Party. Soon after, Hurricane Katrina came ashore and that quickly became a question of what was good for the administration. Now, as both the House and Senate have passed the most recent war bill, it has come down to what's good for George. The American people are no longer even in his blind spot.
Listen to his latest comments. "I will not sign this bill," "This is not the bill I requested." It's all about George. I suppose it was inevitable. As a descendant of English Royalty, (for the uninformed, Bush is a descendant of Edward the First and a cousin of British Prime Minister Tony Blair,) little molecules of tyranny have been floating about in his blood since birth. No doubt the near future will see even more childish behavior from the First Ape. (Oh, and as someone who was affected by Hurricane Katrina, I'd like to personally thank him for referring to the money delineated in the bill for Katrina Relief as pork. That was both tastless and tactless.)
Take, for instance, his spin on Iraq. He spares no expense making opponents feel bad if they don't play by his rules. To deny our troops the money they so desperately need makes any of his opponents un-American. Well, Georgie, you just submitted the budget for 2007 a scant few months ago. Now three months into the year you're telling us you goofed and need additional money. Was it an oversight? Did you have bad advisors? Or are you just doing it to make the democrats look bad?
And what about that whole extra troop debacle? According to Georgie, 20,000 more troops were needed in Iraq in order to secure a victory. Ignoring the fact that one month after he got his toy soldiers, he asked for another three- to six-thousand, and told everyone on Capitol Hill that if they refused to provide those troops, it meant that they didn't care about the 130,000 troops already over there. Georgie said it would send the message that "Meruhcuh" had no faith in what our boys were fighting for. Pardon me sir, but I think you had that backwards. I think when you first asked for more troops you sent the troops a message, and that message was, "I don't think those 130,000 numbnuts over there know what they're doing, so I better send them some help"
And here we stand now, debating the veracity and competence of an Attorney General Georgie demanded. He had to have Alberto Gonzales. Gonzales was the man that would make everything in the Justice Department all better. True, Georgie, he was your third or fourth choice, but Gonzales was the Ultimate Answer. Now it seems that he might also be a liar, or just incredibly stupid. And that whole 'serving at the pleasure of the President' bullshit... just stop now. You like to remind us that Bill Clinton dismissed all 93 federal prosecutors when he was elected. Indeed he did, but that fell well within the powers of his office. He installed who he wanted at the beginning of his term and let them do their jobs as they saw fit. You on the other hand, cherry-picked the few prosecutors who weren't doing your bidding and fired them in the middle of your second term. Oh, they had performance issues you say. According to their most recent job performance reviews they all passed with high marks. The only performance issues they had, were that they weren't performing the tricks you wanted them to.
The next two years will certainly be interesting to watch as the First Ape grows more petulant and loses his grip on both reality and the country. The press conferences will become more entertaining, I'm sure, but the concept and feeling of being an American will surely come with a sharp pang of guilt attatched every time George Bush opens his mouth. However, there is one thing that can help us ride out the First Apes' political death rattle and that is the fact that We The People are Americans. Not "Meruhcuns"
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Kathy Makes It All Better
Today marks a great day in the history of rebuilding the City of New Orleans. Governor Kathleen Blanco declared today that the weekend of January 18th - 21st shall be known as “New Orleans Louisiana Saints Black And Gold Weekend.” Thank god, I didn’t think she cared! Good to know she’s keeping our hopes up with distractions.
Governor Blanco hand-picked ICF International to administer her Louisiana Road Home Project. According to ICF contracts, they were paid $87,000,000 for phase one of the Road Home Program, plus an additional payment of 43,000,000 for OCD’s or “Other Direct Costs.” That’s 130 million dollars for the first four months of operation in which they organized themselves into a close-knit bureaucracy.
Amendment III of the ICF contract outlines phases two and three and sets a 756 million dollar cap for all phases of the contract. It also adds an additional 13 million for ODC’s. So, 756+43+13 = 812 million dollars.
The ICF contract quotes a per-unit cost of $750 for appraisals. How this compares to the Road Home’s statement that the ICF
is administering at seven cents on the dollar is questionable. Let’s say there are 150,000 vetted and credible applicants from both Katrina and Rita. That’s $112.5 million in appraisal charges, leaving a lot more than seven cents on the dollar sitting in ICF’s coffers. The LRHP has approximately 100 employees. That’s enough money left over for each employee to take home 2.3 million a year during the course of the 3 year operation. Surely that can’t be right?
Maybe the extra $700 million is earmarked for the applicants. According to the press releases, each applicant could receive $150,000 in Road Home money, but you must subtract for any insurance, FEMA, etc., money received. Also, the ICF bases your appraisal on pre-storm home price, not replacement value. The Road Home FAQ’s actually state that most applicants will receive between 60 and 70 thousand dollars. Not good, but enough to kick-start your life. Isn’t it?
Let’s ask Saul and Mildred Rubin. Based on a $130/sq.ft. formula the ICF uses, the Rubin’s uninsured 2000 sq. ft. Lakeview home, which spent the better part of early September under 9 feet of water from the 17th street canal breach, should qualify for about $260,000. Then why did they receive a damage estimate of $550 dollars? And they aren’t the only ones in this situation. April Allen’s similarly destroyed Vista Park home raked in a whopping $6,430 damage estimate. Hmmmm... 700 million divided by 150,000 applicants is about $4,666.67. April got a deal!
No, wait, that can’t be right. Louisiana is only paying ICF International for administering the LRHP. The Feds are smartly keeping applicant money in their own pockets until the ICF notifies them, whereupon the Feds wire the money or line of credit to the applicants lender. So that still leaves the matter of $700 million dollars in the ether.
Since accepting applications in mid-2006, the LRHP has doled out a whopping 177 checks. They’ve also mailed out initial responses, second responses, letters retracting first and second responses due to errors, and letters retracting the retraction letters due to even more errors... wait... I think I have it! After deducting salaries, phone bills and three-Cosmo lunches for the ICF, LRHP and State “leaders,” that leaves about $375 million for postage! That’s one hell of a bulk rate.
Now I may be out on a limb here, but do we really need Kathy proclaiming faux holidays in her Thindy Brady-ethque thtyle? I don’t. I know thew Saints are for real. The City of New Orleans and half the country know. I also know that Kathy can move fast when a bandwagon rolls past. I suppose she needs to make us forget all those little slappy fights with Tom Benson over a new stadium. I’ve said it to Mayor Nagin, and I’ll say it to Kathy. Sit down, shut up and fix the problems. While you still have the power to do so.
View the ICF contracts.
More on the Rubin’s and other cases.
ICF Website
Governor Blanco's Website
Louisiana Road Home Program
Governor Blanco hand-picked ICF International to administer her Louisiana Road Home Project. According to ICF contracts, they were paid $87,000,000 for phase one of the Road Home Program, plus an additional payment of 43,000,000 for OCD’s or “Other Direct Costs.” That’s 130 million dollars for the first four months of operation in which they organized themselves into a close-knit bureaucracy.
Amendment III of the ICF contract outlines phases two and three and sets a 756 million dollar cap for all phases of the contract. It also adds an additional 13 million for ODC’s. So, 756+43+13 = 812 million dollars.
The ICF contract quotes a per-unit cost of $750 for appraisals. How this compares to the Road Home’s statement that the ICF
is administering at seven cents on the dollar is questionable. Let’s say there are 150,000 vetted and credible applicants from both Katrina and Rita. That’s $112.5 million in appraisal charges, leaving a lot more than seven cents on the dollar sitting in ICF’s coffers. The LRHP has approximately 100 employees. That’s enough money left over for each employee to take home 2.3 million a year during the course of the 3 year operation. Surely that can’t be right?
Maybe the extra $700 million is earmarked for the applicants. According to the press releases, each applicant could receive $150,000 in Road Home money, but you must subtract for any insurance, FEMA, etc., money received. Also, the ICF bases your appraisal on pre-storm home price, not replacement value. The Road Home FAQ’s actually state that most applicants will receive between 60 and 70 thousand dollars. Not good, but enough to kick-start your life. Isn’t it?
Let’s ask Saul and Mildred Rubin. Based on a $130/sq.ft. formula the ICF uses, the Rubin’s uninsured 2000 sq. ft. Lakeview home, which spent the better part of early September under 9 feet of water from the 17th street canal breach, should qualify for about $260,000. Then why did they receive a damage estimate of $550 dollars? And they aren’t the only ones in this situation. April Allen’s similarly destroyed Vista Park home raked in a whopping $6,430 damage estimate. Hmmmm... 700 million divided by 150,000 applicants is about $4,666.67. April got a deal!
No, wait, that can’t be right. Louisiana is only paying ICF International for administering the LRHP. The Feds are smartly keeping applicant money in their own pockets until the ICF notifies them, whereupon the Feds wire the money or line of credit to the applicants lender. So that still leaves the matter of $700 million dollars in the ether.
Since accepting applications in mid-2006, the LRHP has doled out a whopping 177 checks. They’ve also mailed out initial responses, second responses, letters retracting first and second responses due to errors, and letters retracting the retraction letters due to even more errors... wait... I think I have it! After deducting salaries, phone bills and three-Cosmo lunches for the ICF, LRHP and State “leaders,” that leaves about $375 million for postage! That’s one hell of a bulk rate.
Now I may be out on a limb here, but do we really need Kathy proclaiming faux holidays in her Thindy Brady-ethque thtyle? I don’t. I know thew Saints are for real. The City of New Orleans and half the country know. I also know that Kathy can move fast when a bandwagon rolls past. I suppose she needs to make us forget all those little slappy fights with Tom Benson over a new stadium. I’ve said it to Mayor Nagin, and I’ll say it to Kathy. Sit down, shut up and fix the problems. While you still have the power to do so.
View the ICF contracts.
More on the Rubin’s and other cases.
ICF Website
Governor Blanco's Website
Louisiana Road Home Program
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
