Our top story… Generalisimo Francisco Jackson is still dead.
In what is destined to be the hugest waste of time since the coverage of Sarah Palin's Vice-Presidential run, the Death of Michael Jackson continues to fascinate and dazzle the media. Now with Diprivan!! And just a few years ago everyone was calling for Mike's immediate incarceration, castration and execution for being a "weirdo, a freak and a child molester." Now it's all tears and tributes. Sometimes you people sicken me.
Michael Jackson was simply what we all are. A sad, flawed human being, struggling to find happiness in a world that simply doesn't give a shit. Do I think he was a child molester? No. I think he had a severely regressed personality which would not allow him to enter adulthood the way normal people do. Do I think he was the "King of Pop?" No. That was Elvis. It is still Elvis. It will always be Elvis. So do me a favor and bury Michael and the incessant media coverage. It's sad that a person died, but I don't need updates every ten fucking minutes. Thank you.
And speaking of Sarah Palin…
She quit.
Bwah-hah-hah-hah!
In a rambling farewell address that lasted almost as long as her Vice-Presidential run, the Republican dilletante-du-jour threw in the towel. She cited the fact that great changes can be made outside of government as one of her reasons for stepping down. That's nice, but it's usually the type of thing used to motivate the citizenry to get off their asses and participate in events, not sitting governors! Essentially, her statement reads as, "I am so ineffective that I can't do anything, even with the power of a governor."
She cited her decision not to run for re-election as one of the many motivating forces in her decision to resign. According to La Palin, lame-duck politicians are lazy bastards who do nothing but pick up a check at the end of every month. The thing is, to qualify as a "lame-duck," you need to be on your way out. Had you lost a re-election campaign, you would be a "lame-duck," not because you decided not to run. Not only that, but Palin still has a year-and-a-half left on her term!
The media is circulating rumours of impending and ongoing ethics violations as possible reasons for the surprise resignation. Fact is, Sarah Palin is the Alaskan equivalent of New Orleans Mayor C Ray Nagin. She spends almost no time in office, preferring instead to travel the Lower 48 begging for political handouts. And she brings her brood everywhere she goes, paying their way with state money. Each time she travels, someone slaps an ethics complaint against her. Each time the cases are reviewed the outcome is the same: Palin's trip is classified as "state business" but the bill for her family is not covered, so she ends up repaying the state for that portion of her spending. Then she holds a "press conference" explaining that she did nothing wrong. While it's true that she did nothing wrong, it's only because the people of Alaska have to keep after her to pay her share of the bills. She's like the dumbass college roommate who's always mooching off his buddies even though his parents are loaded.
During her vapid farewell, she also quoted General Douglass MacArthur, saying "We are not retreating, just advancing in a different direction." Strong words. Strong, and for Palin as usual, wrong. The actual quote comes from USMC Major General Oliver P Smith and stems from a British reporter asking him about the UN Forces "retreat" from the Chosin Reservoir during the Vietnam War. Smith's reply was, "There can be no retreat when there's no rear. You can't retreat, or even withdraw, when you're surrounded. The only thing you can do is break out, and in order to do that you have to attack, and that is what we're about to do. Heck, all we're doing is attacking in a different direction." Sounds like an admission that she's in way over her head to me.
She also compared herself to wounded war veterans and basketball stars as she tried to explain her actions. Speculation is that she's more concerned with her new million-dollar book deal or a possible 2012 run for, (and this is the part that really makes me giggle,) president!
Bwah-hah-hah-hah!
Call Us When You Get Some Real Weapons!
North Korea fired off a half-dozen or so "Scud-like" missiles while we slept last night. Seriously? "Scud-like?" Weren't those the cheap bottle-rockets that the Sovs foisted off on the Middle East back in the Eighties? You know, the ones that fell apart and failed to detonate when US Forces gave them a stern look? Come on Kim Jong, we know you wanna be a World Class Gangsta Nigga, but Scuds ain't nothing but D Thang. That's D for Derision. Or Dumbass. Or Douchbag, Dope, Dipstick, Dip-tard… the list goes on. Next!
It's about damned time!
Today, the Statue of Liberty opens her crown to the public once again. The crown has been closed since 9/11 and has symbolized the empty-headed policies of the Bush Administration over the last eight years. If President Obama gets nothing else right during his term, I will still be forever grateful to him for this one act.
Gentlemen, Start Your Gastrointestines!
Just a few hours to go until the Nathan's Famous Hot-Dog Eating Contest. We here at the NoM wish good luck to all the entrants, but especially to the 2007 and 2008 Champion, American, Joey Chestnut. Give 'em Hell, Joey!
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Friday, October 10, 2008
Palin Guilty, McCain Booed For Honesty
Just one day after the McCain Campaign absolved and exonerated Sarah Palin from any wrongdoing in the recent Troopergate scandal, (a clear effort to confuse the public by usurping the moment,) the actual Alaskan legislative committee charged with the task of discovering the truth has found that Sarah Palin did, in fact, "unlawfully abuse her authority" (as Governor of Alaska) "in firing the state public safety commissioner."
Palin was found to have overstepped her authority in firing Alaska PSC Walt Monegan for "insubordination." Palin, her husband and her staff made repeated harassing calls to Monegan in an effort to dismiss an Alaska State Trooper, Mike Wooten, that was formerly married to Palins' sister and was in the middle of a vicious 2-year custody battle.
Palin initially welcomed the investigation, stating that she had nothing to hide and would co-operate fully with the 14 member bi-partisan committee. Then the Republican Party bestowed the second-banana-to-be crown on her head and she quickly changed her tune, refusing to answer any questions on the matter and refusing to testify in official proceedings. Palin is now spinning the facts and crying foul because the committee never got to hear her side of the story. I guess not, sweetie. For those of you who think that this is a democratic witch-hunt fueled by the liberal media, the committee consists of four democrats and ten republicans. Oops.
The report states that there were other reasons behind the firing and the family feud was just one piece of a very small puzzle, but that Palin clearly abused the powers of her office. This means that the way is clear for lawsuits and recall petitions. I can't wait to hear the lies that spew forth from her "golly-gee-whiz-Joe-Sixpack" piehole as she tries to squirm her way out of this mess.
And let's not forget John McCain. According to the man himself, he was fully aware of Troopergate when he chose Palin as his nominee but dismissed it on her word that there was no fire beneath the smoke. Really now, are we supposed to believe that? I believe the Republican Party chose Palin and that McCain was forced to go along with that choice as part of the bargain he made to get the nomination. But if McCain did choose her, what does that say about his judgment of character and how can we ever trust it in the White House?
I will credit McCain with one bright shining example of the honest man he used to be. It came in a town hall rally today as a dishevelled and clearly... well, let's just call her confused, woman told McCain that she couldn't trust Obama because he was an Arab. John McCain took the microphone away from her and did his best to hide what looked to be utter disgust as he corrected her by saying, no ma'am, that's wrong. He explained that Obama was a good, honest family man, a citizen of this country, who just happens to have different ideas on how this country should be run. This was met by a stifled, half-hearted, half-round of applause from the audience, but later, when McCain said that Obama could be trusted as President, would make a fine President, the audience booed him unmercifully. He probably killed his campaign right there, but you could see in his eyes that he was truly sickened and saddened by what his campaign has so far accomplished with it's lies regarding Barack Obama.
It was stunning to watch and for one brief moment, I glimpsed the honesty of John McCain that so impressed me over a decade ago. It's a damn shame that man was corrupted by the politics of fear and the slanderous agenda of his own party. I miss him. But then, what the hell do I know?
Palin was found to have overstepped her authority in firing Alaska PSC Walt Monegan for "insubordination." Palin, her husband and her staff made repeated harassing calls to Monegan in an effort to dismiss an Alaska State Trooper, Mike Wooten, that was formerly married to Palins' sister and was in the middle of a vicious 2-year custody battle.
Palin initially welcomed the investigation, stating that she had nothing to hide and would co-operate fully with the 14 member bi-partisan committee. Then the Republican Party bestowed the second-banana-to-be crown on her head and she quickly changed her tune, refusing to answer any questions on the matter and refusing to testify in official proceedings. Palin is now spinning the facts and crying foul because the committee never got to hear her side of the story. I guess not, sweetie. For those of you who think that this is a democratic witch-hunt fueled by the liberal media, the committee consists of four democrats and ten republicans. Oops.
The report states that there were other reasons behind the firing and the family feud was just one piece of a very small puzzle, but that Palin clearly abused the powers of her office. This means that the way is clear for lawsuits and recall petitions. I can't wait to hear the lies that spew forth from her "golly-gee-whiz-Joe-Sixpack" piehole as she tries to squirm her way out of this mess.
And let's not forget John McCain. According to the man himself, he was fully aware of Troopergate when he chose Palin as his nominee but dismissed it on her word that there was no fire beneath the smoke. Really now, are we supposed to believe that? I believe the Republican Party chose Palin and that McCain was forced to go along with that choice as part of the bargain he made to get the nomination. But if McCain did choose her, what does that say about his judgment of character and how can we ever trust it in the White House?
I will credit McCain with one bright shining example of the honest man he used to be. It came in a town hall rally today as a dishevelled and clearly... well, let's just call her confused, woman told McCain that she couldn't trust Obama because he was an Arab. John McCain took the microphone away from her and did his best to hide what looked to be utter disgust as he corrected her by saying, no ma'am, that's wrong. He explained that Obama was a good, honest family man, a citizen of this country, who just happens to have different ideas on how this country should be run. This was met by a stifled, half-hearted, half-round of applause from the audience, but later, when McCain said that Obama could be trusted as President, would make a fine President, the audience booed him unmercifully. He probably killed his campaign right there, but you could see in his eyes that he was truly sickened and saddened by what his campaign has so far accomplished with it's lies regarding Barack Obama.
It was stunning to watch and for one brief moment, I glimpsed the honesty of John McCain that so impressed me over a decade ago. It's a damn shame that man was corrupted by the politics of fear and the slanderous agenda of his own party. I miss him. But then, what the hell do I know?
Friday, September 5, 2008
Palin In A Nutshell
Chuck Todd of NBC recently interviewed former McCain campaign manager Mike Murphy and former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan. After the interview, an NBC employee failed to switch to the next segment. Thanks to Loki of Humid City for posting this!
Enjoy!
Read along if you wish:
Of course, Noonan maintains that she meant their segment was over, not the Republican Campaign. Whatever helps you keep your job Peggy. Judging by the gushing praise she lavishes on the "political bullshit" Veep candidate in her recent Wall Street Journal column, she'll be fine.
Enjoy!
Read along if you wish:
Murphy: You know, because I come out of a blue swing state governor world. Engler, Whitman, Tommy Thompson, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush. And these guys, this is all like, how you win a Texas race, you know, just run it up… And it’s not gonna work.
Noonan: It’s over.
Murphy: Still, McCain can give a version of the Lieberman speech to do himself some good.
NBC’s Chuck Todd: Don't think the Palin pick was insulting to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, too?
Noonan: I saw Kay this morning.
Todd: She's never been comfortable about it.
Murphy: They’re all bummed out.
Todd: I mean, is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?
Noonan: The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives and (inaudible) the picture.
Murphy: I totally agree.
Noonan: Every time the Republicans do that because that’s not where they live and it’s not what they’re good at and they blow it.
Murphy: You know what’s really the worst thing about it? The greatness (Noonan: Sorry guys.) of McCain is no cynicism and this is.
Todd: This is cynical… and, and… as you called it, gimmicky.
Of course, Noonan maintains that she meant their segment was over, not the Republican Campaign. Whatever helps you keep your job Peggy. Judging by the gushing praise she lavishes on the "political bullshit" Veep candidate in her recent Wall Street Journal column, she'll be fine.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Did She Just Say…
Republicans want everyone to leave her family out of it, so I'll refrain from commenting on the first boring fifteen minutes of her speech.
Watching La Palin give her speech. Did she just say "Lay more pipe?"
Wow. No one delivers snide rhetoric like an angry woman. She has some good speech writers, doesn't she? Sounds a lot like the First Ape, except she can actually form complete sentences without going "uhhhmmmmm" every fifth word.
Notice how every state she mentions is a "swing" state? As if the people of Ohio are stupid enough to vote for McCain just because their state was mentioned in a speech on national TV. Well, it is Ohio. OK, it might work...
"Do-Nothing Senate?" You mean the one John McCain is has been a member of since 1987?
OK, now she brings up his military service. There's no way to say this without offending someone but I do not mean this to be cruel, nor do I intend disrespect to John McCain. He fought for our country in one of our most questionable conflicts. He didn't run away and hide, and his patriotism is not in question in my mind. But…
Every time the Republicans bring up McCain's military record, we're supposed to get all teary eyed. His military record is always alluded to as qualifying him for the presidency. Really? He was in Vietnam just a few months before being captured. It seems to me that a better presidential candidate would be someone who didn't get captured. My god, the man crashed three planes in practice! He graduated 5th from the bottom of his class of 899! Enough already!
Crap. Now I missed the end of the words that the RNC writers prepared for her.
Oh well, the RNC is almost over. For those of you who think I'm being too rough on the Repugnicans, (yes, it's a combination of repugnant and republican,) just hold your horses. The debates are coming and I'm sure I'll be more democratic in my ranting then.
Watching La Palin give her speech. Did she just say "Lay more pipe?"
Wow. No one delivers snide rhetoric like an angry woman. She has some good speech writers, doesn't she? Sounds a lot like the First Ape, except she can actually form complete sentences without going "uhhhmmmmm" every fifth word.
Notice how every state she mentions is a "swing" state? As if the people of Ohio are stupid enough to vote for McCain just because their state was mentioned in a speech on national TV. Well, it is Ohio. OK, it might work...
"Do-Nothing Senate?" You mean the one John McCain is has been a member of since 1987?
OK, now she brings up his military service. There's no way to say this without offending someone but I do not mean this to be cruel, nor do I intend disrespect to John McCain. He fought for our country in one of our most questionable conflicts. He didn't run away and hide, and his patriotism is not in question in my mind. But…
Every time the Republicans bring up McCain's military record, we're supposed to get all teary eyed. His military record is always alluded to as qualifying him for the presidency. Really? He was in Vietnam just a few months before being captured. It seems to me that a better presidential candidate would be someone who didn't get captured. My god, the man crashed three planes in practice! He graduated 5th from the bottom of his class of 899! Enough already!
Crap. Now I missed the end of the words that the RNC writers prepared for her.
Oh well, the RNC is almost over. For those of you who think I'm being too rough on the Repugnicans, (yes, it's a combination of repugnant and republican,) just hold your horses. The debates are coming and I'm sure I'll be more democratic in my ranting then.
Take This Brother, May It Serve You Well
Anyone see McCain in the receiving line on the airport tarmac? He zipped past his own family rather quickly and stopped for a paternal chat with Bristol Palin and her 'fiancé' Levi Johnston. We don't know what was said, but it was probably something like, "Geez kids, I'm really sorry you got outed. It's not my fault, I wanted to run with Joey." You can see it here. (There's a crappy commercial at first, deal with it.) McCain actually looks stiff and uncomfortable hugging his own family but comfortable as all hell hugging his "soulmate," (his words,) Sarah Palin. And watch at the end as McCain hands something to Levi. It's small and fits in the palm of a hand; Levi keeps his fingers clenched around it after the pass. It could simply be a McPalin campaign button, but I'm guessing it was a condom.
Sarah Palin For President!
I thought John McCain was running for president. You wouldn't know it from his new ad…
And he approved that! It's clear that with the RNC's choice of Palin as a running mate, they have lost their only area of attack on Obama, namely that of experience. Suddenly they are unable to compare and contrast Obama to their own candidate so they substitute the running mate? Did I miss something? Never before in the history of the United States of America have I seen a Veep candidate compared to a Presidential candidate of the opposite party! this is just mind-boggling! This ad is possibly the single greatest example of just how fractured and in disarray the Republican Party is.
Let's take a look at some other examples, shall we?
Until last week, McCain was leaning toward Joe Lieberman as his running mate in order to swing the independent voters, but the Reublican Party refused this choice and forced Palin into the Veep spot. So even though McCain is supposed to be an independent maverick for change, it's clear he's being puppeteered by the RNC. And if you think they're going to take their hand out of his ass if he makes it to the Oval Office, you're too far gone for me to help so you may as well stop reading now.
Instead of choosing a running-mate that could ease partisan tensions, corral thousands of swing votes and build the base of the Republican Party, the RNC is simply preaching to the converted by pushing Palin onto the ticket. The evangalical cats are creaming their jeans over Palin and the hardcore red-staters are finally happy that someone on their party's ticket has a pair of republican balls, but with Palin, the RNC is essentially telling the swing voters, (and pretty much everyone else,) that their voices have been heard and ignored. Here comes more of the same.
(Warning: Typical Male Sexist Comment Imminent) Palin completes McCain by adhering to the Party Canon where he falls short. For example, McCain opposes more offshore drilling in the United States. Palin is absolutely fanatical for more drilling. (Typical Male Sexist Comment in 3… 2… 1…) My goodness, she already has five kids; how much more drilling does she want! OK, OK, I apologize. That was completely unprofessional, but then I don't get paid for this so hard cheese! Back to the rant…
Now I understand that this is Sarah's Big Day and naturally the BNM flies should be buzzing around and about her, but shouldn't there also be someone talking about John McCain? I mean, the above ad not withstanding, he is supposed to be the Republican candidate, isn't he? Add to this, the fact that unlike any other Veep candidate in the history of the United States, the RNC has cloisterd Palin away from the media. No interviews, no sound bites, no nothing. The press releases say that she is working on her speech, but I think it's more a case of the RNC drilling their propaganda more firmly into her head.
In closing, I'd like to share a recent sound bite from Sarah Palin that illustrates just how terrible this choice was. Ignore the stupid Obama endcaps that someone tacked onto the clip, but pay very close attention to Sarah's own words. And enjoy implosion of the Republican Party.
And he approved that! It's clear that with the RNC's choice of Palin as a running mate, they have lost their only area of attack on Obama, namely that of experience. Suddenly they are unable to compare and contrast Obama to their own candidate so they substitute the running mate? Did I miss something? Never before in the history of the United States of America have I seen a Veep candidate compared to a Presidential candidate of the opposite party! this is just mind-boggling! This ad is possibly the single greatest example of just how fractured and in disarray the Republican Party is.
Let's take a look at some other examples, shall we?
Until last week, McCain was leaning toward Joe Lieberman as his running mate in order to swing the independent voters, but the Reublican Party refused this choice and forced Palin into the Veep spot. So even though McCain is supposed to be an independent maverick for change, it's clear he's being puppeteered by the RNC. And if you think they're going to take their hand out of his ass if he makes it to the Oval Office, you're too far gone for me to help so you may as well stop reading now.
Instead of choosing a running-mate that could ease partisan tensions, corral thousands of swing votes and build the base of the Republican Party, the RNC is simply preaching to the converted by pushing Palin onto the ticket. The evangalical cats are creaming their jeans over Palin and the hardcore red-staters are finally happy that someone on their party's ticket has a pair of republican balls, but with Palin, the RNC is essentially telling the swing voters, (and pretty much everyone else,) that their voices have been heard and ignored. Here comes more of the same.
(Warning: Typical Male Sexist Comment Imminent) Palin completes McCain by adhering to the Party Canon where he falls short. For example, McCain opposes more offshore drilling in the United States. Palin is absolutely fanatical for more drilling. (Typical Male Sexist Comment in 3… 2… 1…) My goodness, she already has five kids; how much more drilling does she want! OK, OK, I apologize. That was completely unprofessional, but then I don't get paid for this so hard cheese! Back to the rant…
Now I understand that this is Sarah's Big Day and naturally the BNM flies should be buzzing around and about her, but shouldn't there also be someone talking about John McCain? I mean, the above ad not withstanding, he is supposed to be the Republican candidate, isn't he? Add to this, the fact that unlike any other Veep candidate in the history of the United States, the RNC has cloisterd Palin away from the media. No interviews, no sound bites, no nothing. The press releases say that she is working on her speech, but I think it's more a case of the RNC drilling their propaganda more firmly into her head.
In closing, I'd like to share a recent sound bite from Sarah Palin that illustrates just how terrible this choice was. Ignore the stupid Obama endcaps that someone tacked onto the clip, but pay very close attention to Sarah's own words. And enjoy implosion of the Republican Party.
Babygate
So, now the entire Republican Party is of the opinion that teenage pregnancy is perfectly acceptable. It's a private matter to be handled by the family. Interesting. Apparently the evangelical right-wing blowhard party now condones underage sex as well as homosexuality and whore-mongering. Who'da thunk?
I'd like to ask a favor of all my Liberal buddies in the Big News Media regarding Bristol Palin and her brand new bundle of stem cells. Shut the fuck up already! The world is quite aware that she's pregnant. The world is quite aware that her mommy, presumptive Veep Sarah Palin, is opposed to sex education. You can draw your own conclusions. Rumours abound that Sarah's son, Track, was born out of wedlock as well. Perhaps it runs in the family. Who cares.
There are thousands of people out there saying, "If she can't control her kids, how can she control the country!" Please join the BNM and STFU as well. Sarah Palin is not Dick Cheney. If McCain manages to win the election, (he won't,) the vice-presidency will once again be a quiet little job consisting of funereal visits and mall openings.
Think about this: The Palins live in Alaska. Other than writing your name in the snow with urine, there's not a lot to do up there so I'm guessing sex is a popular pastime. And before you start whining about the whole underage thing, you better whoa-up and check your facts. The Age Of Consent in Alaska is sixteen, so even if that errant sperm found it's way to Bristol's womb before her seventeenth birthday, there's nothing illegal about it.
And the baby-daddy be takin' care of his bitness. The shotguns are cocked and the wedding is on. I'm sure all the finer Alaskan bridal stores are busy altering their dresses to maternity patterns in the hopes that they'll land the lucrative Palin wedding contract.
What I find interesting that the Republican Party is responsible for keeping Babygate alive. Most democrats are more concerned with silly issues like health care, the illegal war in Iraq, the nosediving economy and global warming. Babygate is a freaking blessing to republicans. "Hey! A distraction to how we've fucked up the country! Let's run with it!" Give me a break.
As I was drifting into the Land of Nod last night, there was an interview with some republican idiot, I don't recall the name, who was asked about Sarah Palin's lack of experience in matters of foreign policy. This clueless bint actually claimed that since Sarah Palin was the governor of the closest American land to Russia, she had plenty of foreign policy experience. Huh? My next door neighbor is a chef. Does that automatically qualify me to run a restaurant?
And these are the people you want running this country? Good luck with that.
For those of you still looking for a presidential candidate, I'll be here when you need me. including myself, I now have a grand total of five write-in votes spanning Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida and Pennsylvania. Just a few hundred thousand to go! And remember, my vice-president will be chosen from my supporters and I will move the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms and the DEA under his or her direct control. The job is VICE president, after all.
See you in Washington!
I'd like to ask a favor of all my Liberal buddies in the Big News Media regarding Bristol Palin and her brand new bundle of stem cells. Shut the fuck up already! The world is quite aware that she's pregnant. The world is quite aware that her mommy, presumptive Veep Sarah Palin, is opposed to sex education. You can draw your own conclusions. Rumours abound that Sarah's son, Track, was born out of wedlock as well. Perhaps it runs in the family. Who cares.
There are thousands of people out there saying, "If she can't control her kids, how can she control the country!" Please join the BNM and STFU as well. Sarah Palin is not Dick Cheney. If McCain manages to win the election, (he won't,) the vice-presidency will once again be a quiet little job consisting of funereal visits and mall openings.
Think about this: The Palins live in Alaska. Other than writing your name in the snow with urine, there's not a lot to do up there so I'm guessing sex is a popular pastime. And before you start whining about the whole underage thing, you better whoa-up and check your facts. The Age Of Consent in Alaska is sixteen, so even if that errant sperm found it's way to Bristol's womb before her seventeenth birthday, there's nothing illegal about it.
And the baby-daddy be takin' care of his bitness. The shotguns are cocked and the wedding is on. I'm sure all the finer Alaskan bridal stores are busy altering their dresses to maternity patterns in the hopes that they'll land the lucrative Palin wedding contract.
What I find interesting that the Republican Party is responsible for keeping Babygate alive. Most democrats are more concerned with silly issues like health care, the illegal war in Iraq, the nosediving economy and global warming. Babygate is a freaking blessing to republicans. "Hey! A distraction to how we've fucked up the country! Let's run with it!" Give me a break.
As I was drifting into the Land of Nod last night, there was an interview with some republican idiot, I don't recall the name, who was asked about Sarah Palin's lack of experience in matters of foreign policy. This clueless bint actually claimed that since Sarah Palin was the governor of the closest American land to Russia, she had plenty of foreign policy experience. Huh? My next door neighbor is a chef. Does that automatically qualify me to run a restaurant?
And these are the people you want running this country? Good luck with that.
For those of you still looking for a presidential candidate, I'll be here when you need me. including myself, I now have a grand total of five write-in votes spanning Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida and Pennsylvania. Just a few hundred thousand to go! And remember, my vice-president will be chosen from my supporters and I will move the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms and the DEA under his or her direct control. The job is VICE president, after all.
See you in Washington!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Gustav Update
The Mississippi Gulf Coast is once again receiving the brunt of a hurricane as Gustav continues to send high winds and storm surge across Highway 90. Latest videos showed Hwy 90 West under about a foot of water with waves cresting at a height of about three feet. A ten foot surge is slowly moving through Waveland but flooding inside homes is said to be minimal.
In New Orleans, the Industrial Canal levees are holding and the waters have begun subsiding according to FOX "News." There is high water inside the levees where a number of warehouses have flooded, but so far the residential areas of the Upper Ninth remain relatively dry. At one point, an Army Corps of Engineers worker jumped off of a tugboat and into the raging waters in order to secure a large propane tank, (and I mean large; SUV sized large,) which was being slammed into a nearby building. The man was able to return to the tugboat. Check FOX for the video, It's pretty freaking amazing, (except for Geraldo's continued "Is that a perthon? That'th a perthon!") and I expect this guy to be a media darling in the next few days.
On the political front, all the major players are sounding off on Gustav. First Ape George Bush says that the federal government is better prepared than it was during Katrina. Thanks for the info, Georgie. You're doing a heckuva job!
Barack Obama is monitoring the storm while on the campaign trail, cutting speeches short in order to devote more time to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico. Good to know that he's alert, but he's gotta remember that he ain't the Prez yet. Still, it's an incredibly bold statement that he's ready to take charge if the current administration drops the ball again and it adds a sense of leadership to his aura.
John McCain has stated that he knew Bristol Palin was pregnant before he chose her mom, Sarah, as his running mate. McCain representatives also refuted rumours that the pregnancy was announced at the height of Gustav in order to sneak it under the collective conscience of the country. Really? If that's true, why not announce it a day or two earlier or later?
In light of these last two items, I feel comfortable in calling the 2008 Presidential Election for Barack Obama. While John McCain is busy fighting a poorly timed press release regarding the loose morals of his running mates daughter, Obama is showing leadership in a time of real crisis. The only candidate that could possibly beat Obama would be yours truly, and I'm depending on your write-in votes to win. After all, I'm here updating the country, not just "monitoring the situation."
Locally, New Orleans' Mayor Ray Nagin publicly stated that all looters would go directly to Angola Prison with no temporary stay in the Orleans Parish Prison system. I wonder if that includes city employees who use their City of New Orleans credit cards for food, gas and lodging during their evacuation...
In New Orleans, the Industrial Canal levees are holding and the waters have begun subsiding according to FOX "News." There is high water inside the levees where a number of warehouses have flooded, but so far the residential areas of the Upper Ninth remain relatively dry. At one point, an Army Corps of Engineers worker jumped off of a tugboat and into the raging waters in order to secure a large propane tank, (and I mean large; SUV sized large,) which was being slammed into a nearby building. The man was able to return to the tugboat. Check FOX for the video, It's pretty freaking amazing, (except for Geraldo's continued "Is that a perthon? That'th a perthon!") and I expect this guy to be a media darling in the next few days.
On the political front, all the major players are sounding off on Gustav. First Ape George Bush says that the federal government is better prepared than it was during Katrina. Thanks for the info, Georgie. You're doing a heckuva job!
Barack Obama is monitoring the storm while on the campaign trail, cutting speeches short in order to devote more time to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico. Good to know that he's alert, but he's gotta remember that he ain't the Prez yet. Still, it's an incredibly bold statement that he's ready to take charge if the current administration drops the ball again and it adds a sense of leadership to his aura.
John McCain has stated that he knew Bristol Palin was pregnant before he chose her mom, Sarah, as his running mate. McCain representatives also refuted rumours that the pregnancy was announced at the height of Gustav in order to sneak it under the collective conscience of the country. Really? If that's true, why not announce it a day or two earlier or later?
In light of these last two items, I feel comfortable in calling the 2008 Presidential Election for Barack Obama. While John McCain is busy fighting a poorly timed press release regarding the loose morals of his running mates daughter, Obama is showing leadership in a time of real crisis. The only candidate that could possibly beat Obama would be yours truly, and I'm depending on your write-in votes to win. After all, I'm here updating the country, not just "monitoring the situation."
Locally, New Orleans' Mayor Ray Nagin publicly stated that all looters would go directly to Angola Prison with no temporary stay in the Orleans Parish Prison system. I wonder if that includes city employees who use their City of New Orleans credit cards for food, gas and lodging during their evacuation...
FOX, News and Priorities
Much thanks to FOX "News" for interrupting coverage of Hurricane Gustav in order to inform us that presumptive Republican Veep Hottie Sarah Palin is going to be a grandmother. The pro-life, family-values candidate says that her seventeen year-old, single daughter, Bristol, who is five months pregnant, is planning to marry the baby-daddy, also a teenager. There is no report on whether Bristol is aware of the wedding plans. Talk about serendipitous timing. I wonder if Sarah will change her tune about teaching sex education in school…
FOX also reports that George Bush and Dick Cheney have canceled their Republican convention speeches for tonight. Laura Bush and Cindy McCain plan to take the stage in their place to beg for prayers and money, thus turning Gustav into a big Republican love-fest.
Currently, I'm watching the FOX "News" broadcast from the Judge Seeber Bridge as water sloshes over the Industrial Canal levees. The levees look strong with no visible stress in evidence. but the water level has risen from 10-feet to 11-feet which is the limit along most of the floodwalls in the area.
George Bush has just arrived in the Austin, TX Emergency HQ, smiling and slapping backs. FOX has just now cut the feed from Austin. Apparently five minutes of the First Ape posing for photo-ops with his texas buddies is enough.
Earlier, CNN interviewed FEMA scapegoat Mike Brown and asked him what was different now compared to three years ago. Brownie skirted the issue, but I can tell you the answer… There's a new sheriff in town and his name ain't Mike Brown!
FOX also reports that George Bush and Dick Cheney have canceled their Republican convention speeches for tonight. Laura Bush and Cindy McCain plan to take the stage in their place to beg for prayers and money, thus turning Gustav into a big Republican love-fest.
Currently, I'm watching the FOX "News" broadcast from the Judge Seeber Bridge as water sloshes over the Industrial Canal levees. The levees look strong with no visible stress in evidence. but the water level has risen from 10-feet to 11-feet which is the limit along most of the floodwalls in the area.
George Bush has just arrived in the Austin, TX Emergency HQ, smiling and slapping backs. FOX has just now cut the feed from Austin. Apparently five minutes of the First Ape posing for photo-ops with his texas buddies is enough.
Earlier, CNN interviewed FEMA scapegoat Mike Brown and asked him what was different now compared to three years ago. Brownie skirted the issue, but I can tell you the answer… There's a new sheriff in town and his name ain't Mike Brown!
The Pailn Brood
Yes, she has that certain Tina Fey brainy/hottie thing going on, but who the fuck named her kids? Willow and Piper I can tolerate. Sometimes the only baby name book you can find is the one those hippies left behind the couch. Bristol sounds like the Palins are trying to jump on the urban bandwagon but were too scared to go with London, Paris, Houston, or Madagascar. And finally we come to the boys, Trig and Track. Are you fucking kidding me? Were those her favorite subjects in high school? Compared to these two, the other kids got off easy! I'm all for individualism, but you gotta draw a line somewhere.
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