The following is a true story.
I escaped a half dozen hungry zomb's the other day:
They were shambling up to me as I was ordering a no-fat, half-caff latte with cocoa, cinnamon and nutmeg. By the time I finished drinking it, they had finally reached my table. (They were so pathetically slow I thought they were the wait-staff!)
I looked up at the girl I perceived to be the head zombie, (her knees were dirty,) and asked if she had heard that Paris Hilton had recently become a zombie.
"Rrrrrry??" She queried.
"Yes, it was on Entertainment Tonight. The Weekend Edition." Said I.
She blinked in disconnect for a moment before asking, "Rrrrw dzzzz Ehhhrrzz rrrrk bngg uhhhh zzzzzmmmmmby?"
I replied that Paris claimed to be enjoying the Zombie Life but positively detested the whole brain eating thing. She told zombie Mary Hart that brains were, "So not hot," and she was going to stick with sushi.
There was a bit of discussion between the zomb's, then the head girl said "Rrrnkooo ehrry rrrrrrch," and they shuffled off in the direction of Andy's on Penn Avenue. (It's a sushi bar.) Stupid trendy zombies. A vampire would have seen through my ruse immediately. Zombies are such twats.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Jackass Alert
The First Ape is now in town. Air Force One touched down moments ago and birthed its' unholy cargo on the tarmac at Armstrong International Airport, where he was met by Governor Bobby Jindal. Also in attendance; shining examples of public service William Jefferson and Ray Nagin. After the emotionless handshakes, Curious George was met by Saints Drew Brees and Deuce McCallister and given Saints gear which he casually tossed off to an aide. Bush took specific interest in Drew Brees' birthmark which he pointed at, eyes popping, like an utterly clueless and rude twat. He then spent thirty seconds giving a supposedly prestigious award to Dr John Bull before hopping into Marine One and helicoptering off to Jackson Barracks to fill our ears with bullshit.
So if Dr John Bull is so deserving of high praise, (and from what I hear, he is,) why the casual treatment? Curious George left him standing alone like a nobody after he gave him his medal. For someone in desperate need of good press in New Orleans, Georgie Boy certainly found a way to fuck this up completely.
Congratulations go out to ABC affiliate WGNO for being the only station to cover the speech live. I missed the beginning though, as I was making a George Bush sandwich. That's fried bologna smeared with mayonnaise and no bread. Some key points of what I heard in the speech:
Curious George mentioned that tourism is finally back in New Orleans. Yes, it is, but it never left. Possibly the immediate months after the storm there was a lull, but by Mardi Gras, our tourism business was going strong. You can't take credit for something you had no part in. Next.
Georgie also pointed out that health care is back in New Orleans. Umm, no, sorry, it's not. While there are facilities open in town, area hospitals are still severely understaffed, underfunded and overworked. Charity still sits abandoned, like a giant middle finger pointed straight at the bush administration and local politicians who keep dragging their heels. Next.
Georgie applauded the fact that there is "hopeful progress reducing crime in New Orleans." Get a fucking clue. Crime is as bad as it ever was. The only difference is that now the police can watch it happen on TV instead of endangering themselves out on the street. Bush says that he's been told, "over the last six months there have been notable improvements." By who? Nagin? Riley? If so, I challenge Curious George to spend the weekend in the Upper Ninth without his personal escort. Didn't think so.
The faux president touched on how the school system has improved, specifically test scores. Gee, I guess so, since many of the underachieving kids who had low test scores have stopped attending school altogether. That's just common sense.
He spent a few minutes kissing Leah Chase's ass. I guess he wants another freebie meal on our dime. No offense intended to Leah, but we've heard it before. I notice that he didn't mention the brutal slaying of Betsy McDaniel of Betsy's Pancake House. but then, he never ate there, so i guess it was beneath his radar.
He whooped up some hometown cheers when he mentioned that the New Orleans Saints were about to begin a new season in a newly refurbished Superdome. Yay! Except that the refurbishing is now over two years old. Does he ever read a fucking newspaper? not even a sports page?
He praised the fact that many New Orleans religious institutions are reopening. Really? Seems to me that the Archdiocese just closed thirty of them. He must have been thinking of strip clubs.
He closed by telling us all how he's been "honored to work with us" during the recovery and how this being the third anniversary of Katrina, he thought he should swing down here and "tell us what's happened and where we're headed." Well, in the first place, where has he been working with us? Was he in the Lower Ninth rebuilding homes? Did he help to strengthen the levees? Was that George Bush I saw feeding the homeless under the bridge? Or did he mean it was nice funneling a supposed 128 billion dollars to our state to be divided between our politicians and their pet projects like NOAH, Care Unlimited, Central City Adult Education and Orleans Metropolitan Housing?
As for him telling us what happened and where we're headed, we know, all too well. We were here. We're still here. Not in Arizona eating cake. Not in Crawford riding horses. This is reportedly the First Ape's last stop in New Orleans and to that I say, good riddance. Don't let the screen door smack you in the ass on the way out.
So if Dr John Bull is so deserving of high praise, (and from what I hear, he is,) why the casual treatment? Curious George left him standing alone like a nobody after he gave him his medal. For someone in desperate need of good press in New Orleans, Georgie Boy certainly found a way to fuck this up completely.
Congratulations go out to ABC affiliate WGNO for being the only station to cover the speech live. I missed the beginning though, as I was making a George Bush sandwich. That's fried bologna smeared with mayonnaise and no bread. Some key points of what I heard in the speech:
Curious George mentioned that tourism is finally back in New Orleans. Yes, it is, but it never left. Possibly the immediate months after the storm there was a lull, but by Mardi Gras, our tourism business was going strong. You can't take credit for something you had no part in. Next.
Georgie also pointed out that health care is back in New Orleans. Umm, no, sorry, it's not. While there are facilities open in town, area hospitals are still severely understaffed, underfunded and overworked. Charity still sits abandoned, like a giant middle finger pointed straight at the bush administration and local politicians who keep dragging their heels. Next.
Georgie applauded the fact that there is "hopeful progress reducing crime in New Orleans." Get a fucking clue. Crime is as bad as it ever was. The only difference is that now the police can watch it happen on TV instead of endangering themselves out on the street. Bush says that he's been told, "over the last six months there have been notable improvements." By who? Nagin? Riley? If so, I challenge Curious George to spend the weekend in the Upper Ninth without his personal escort. Didn't think so.
The faux president touched on how the school system has improved, specifically test scores. Gee, I guess so, since many of the underachieving kids who had low test scores have stopped attending school altogether. That's just common sense.
He spent a few minutes kissing Leah Chase's ass. I guess he wants another freebie meal on our dime. No offense intended to Leah, but we've heard it before. I notice that he didn't mention the brutal slaying of Betsy McDaniel of Betsy's Pancake House. but then, he never ate there, so i guess it was beneath his radar.
He whooped up some hometown cheers when he mentioned that the New Orleans Saints were about to begin a new season in a newly refurbished Superdome. Yay! Except that the refurbishing is now over two years old. Does he ever read a fucking newspaper? not even a sports page?
He praised the fact that many New Orleans religious institutions are reopening. Really? Seems to me that the Archdiocese just closed thirty of them. He must have been thinking of strip clubs.
He closed by telling us all how he's been "honored to work with us" during the recovery and how this being the third anniversary of Katrina, he thought he should swing down here and "tell us what's happened and where we're headed." Well, in the first place, where has he been working with us? Was he in the Lower Ninth rebuilding homes? Did he help to strengthen the levees? Was that George Bush I saw feeding the homeless under the bridge? Or did he mean it was nice funneling a supposed 128 billion dollars to our state to be divided between our politicians and their pet projects like NOAH, Care Unlimited, Central City Adult Education and Orleans Metropolitan Housing?
As for him telling us what happened and where we're headed, we know, all too well. We were here. We're still here. Not in Arizona eating cake. Not in Crawford riding horses. This is reportedly the First Ape's last stop in New Orleans and to that I say, good riddance. Don't let the screen door smack you in the ass on the way out.
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Emperor Has New Clothes
There's a Curious Tribe in New Orleans. Very curious. While I try to maintain a curmudgeonly negative outlook on life, every so often I get the itch to pass on a positive story. Well, this is one of those times.
Curious Tribe is a group of young New Orleanians whose "mission is to elevate young adults by cultivating a language of creativity through art, fashion, music and culture." That's a pretty steep hill to climb, considering the state of the city these days, but like it says on the CT blog, "A dream is a weapon... Don't wake up!"
So when you get tired of re-reading my glorious rants, hustle on over to Curious Tribe. You just might find some hope for New Orleans!
Curious Tribe is a group of young New Orleanians whose "mission is to elevate young adults by cultivating a language of creativity through art, fashion, music and culture." That's a pretty steep hill to climb, considering the state of the city these days, but like it says on the CT blog, "A dream is a weapon... Don't wake up!"
So when you get tired of re-reading my glorious rants, hustle on over to Curious Tribe. You just might find some hope for New Orleans!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Eight.
"I have said before that I don't think he can do the eight, and still believe that. Mind you, if there is any person on the planet who is capable, it is him. It's sad, but I just don't think it will happen." -Ian Thorpe
Thank you for your input. And enjoy your retirement.
Congratulations, Michael!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Give Me Back My Snout!
I'm a cat person, but I love a good dog. Hot dog, that is. Since before I can remember, I've been an absolute hound for Oscar Meyer Beef Franks, boiled, fried, barbecued, or just straight out of the package. As far as meat and meat by-products go, the Oscar Meyer Beef Frank was second only to bacon in my little world. Alas, like truth in advertising and honest politicians, those days are gone forever. Without warning, Oscar Meyer has ruined my life by changing the beef frank, and it's a change for the worse.
In June of 2008, I picked up a package of OMBF's and immediately noticed that something was wrong. The familiar light blue on the label had been replaced by a darker, more ominous shade of blue. Not only that, but the franks themselves were darker too. The usual fleshy hue was gone and I was staring at a dark and ruddy looking set of franks. I checked the rest of the packages, but they were all the same. My first thought was that they looked as if they spent the weekend at the beach. You know how a hot dog darkens if you leave it out for a while? That's what they looked like.
Fuck it, said I. It's Oscar, he wouldn't mess with a good thing. They probably just put too much dye in the mixture.
So I tossed the dogs in my basket and hit the check-out lines and headed home. I dutifully put all my purchases away like a good boy. I straightened the kitchen, rinsed a few dishes left over from breakfast and gave the countertops a quick spritz. I had done a good job and was ready for my reward... hot dogs!
I opened a pack and knew at once I had made a mistake. The smooth texture that once graced the OMBF was gone. In it's place was a rough, unfamiliar texture. This, however, was a small shock compared to the sheer displeasure I experienced when I bit into the hot dog. The old dogs were virtually unyielding to my bite. These new impostors offered resistance! As if they didn't want to be eaten! Not only that, but the smooth, whipped, almost creamy, meat texture inside was gone altogether. Now, inside my mouth, the little individual bits of meat were not even trying to work together. not only that, but there was a little hard chunk of something in there. For lack of a better word, blecch!
But if you think that's bad, the fried ones were worse! See, I usually eat five at a time. One raw while the others cook. As my brain was trying to wrap itself around the offensive taste in my mouth, my nose was sending alarm signals to it. Something was burning. Something that shouldn't have been burning. Something bad.
As many of you know, I'm a longhair. I thought perhaps an errant strand fell too close to the burner on the stove, but this was not the case. It was the hot dogs! As they popped and sizzled in the pan, the odor of burning hair was wafting up from them. And a hint of burning plastic, as well. It wasn't strong, but it was strong enough to notice. Imagine wrapping one of those little green toy army men with a few strands of hair and aiming a magnifying glass at it under the hot summer sun. It was disturbing, to say the least. There is a constant in the meat world, and that is, "Fire makes it good." With the new OMBF, fire makes it nauseating.
So I did some digging. According to DelawareOnline, Kraft Foods, OM's parent company, has changed the beef frank in order to compete with rival Sara Lee's Ball Park Franks. The new product, labeled "Premium" is touted as having no artificial flavors, colors, fillers or by-products. Unfortunately, it contains no taste, flavor or enjoyment, either. This is compounded by the fact that Mario Lopez has been signed as the celebrity spokesman for the new beef franks. A crappy fourth tier semi-celebrity for a crappy product.
Bad move Kraft. In your bid for hot dog domination, you have essentially chased me, and many others, straight to the competition. This brainless move can only be compared to that of Coca-Cola when they rolled out New Coke and consigned their original recipe to the trash bin. And we all know how well that worked out, don't we?
Some time ago, when I was enjoying some OMBF's at work, a vegetarian co-worker asked me how my snout was. "Excuse me?" Her reply, "Snout, Michael, you're eating snout. And hoof, and colon, and bone." It was one of her little anti-meat tirades and I was prepared for it. I replied that if it weren't for hot dogs, people would eat more hamburger, or steak, or bacon, and that would mean more animals slaughtered, and all those leftover parts would have to be put somewhere. As I saw it, hot dog eaters were doing their part to cut down on slaughter and keep the landfills free of nasty animal bits. To my surprise, after some thought, she agreed and I was given her blessing to eat all the hot dogs I wanted. I still plan to do so, but they most assuredly will not be made by Oscar Meyer. Looks like I'm heading to the Ball Park.
In June of 2008, I picked up a package of OMBF's and immediately noticed that something was wrong. The familiar light blue on the label had been replaced by a darker, more ominous shade of blue. Not only that, but the franks themselves were darker too. The usual fleshy hue was gone and I was staring at a dark and ruddy looking set of franks. I checked the rest of the packages, but they were all the same. My first thought was that they looked as if they spent the weekend at the beach. You know how a hot dog darkens if you leave it out for a while? That's what they looked like.
Fuck it, said I. It's Oscar, he wouldn't mess with a good thing. They probably just put too much dye in the mixture.
So I tossed the dogs in my basket and hit the check-out lines and headed home. I dutifully put all my purchases away like a good boy. I straightened the kitchen, rinsed a few dishes left over from breakfast and gave the countertops a quick spritz. I had done a good job and was ready for my reward... hot dogs!
I opened a pack and knew at once I had made a mistake. The smooth texture that once graced the OMBF was gone. In it's place was a rough, unfamiliar texture. This, however, was a small shock compared to the sheer displeasure I experienced when I bit into the hot dog. The old dogs were virtually unyielding to my bite. These new impostors offered resistance! As if they didn't want to be eaten! Not only that, but the smooth, whipped, almost creamy, meat texture inside was gone altogether. Now, inside my mouth, the little individual bits of meat were not even trying to work together. not only that, but there was a little hard chunk of something in there. For lack of a better word, blecch!
But if you think that's bad, the fried ones were worse! See, I usually eat five at a time. One raw while the others cook. As my brain was trying to wrap itself around the offensive taste in my mouth, my nose was sending alarm signals to it. Something was burning. Something that shouldn't have been burning. Something bad.
As many of you know, I'm a longhair. I thought perhaps an errant strand fell too close to the burner on the stove, but this was not the case. It was the hot dogs! As they popped and sizzled in the pan, the odor of burning hair was wafting up from them. And a hint of burning plastic, as well. It wasn't strong, but it was strong enough to notice. Imagine wrapping one of those little green toy army men with a few strands of hair and aiming a magnifying glass at it under the hot summer sun. It was disturbing, to say the least. There is a constant in the meat world, and that is, "Fire makes it good." With the new OMBF, fire makes it nauseating.
So I did some digging. According to DelawareOnline, Kraft Foods, OM's parent company, has changed the beef frank in order to compete with rival Sara Lee's Ball Park Franks. The new product, labeled "Premium" is touted as having no artificial flavors, colors, fillers or by-products. Unfortunately, it contains no taste, flavor or enjoyment, either. This is compounded by the fact that Mario Lopez has been signed as the celebrity spokesman for the new beef franks. A crappy fourth tier semi-celebrity for a crappy product.
Bad move Kraft. In your bid for hot dog domination, you have essentially chased me, and many others, straight to the competition. This brainless move can only be compared to that of Coca-Cola when they rolled out New Coke and consigned their original recipe to the trash bin. And we all know how well that worked out, don't we?
Some time ago, when I was enjoying some OMBF's at work, a vegetarian co-worker asked me how my snout was. "Excuse me?" Her reply, "Snout, Michael, you're eating snout. And hoof, and colon, and bone." It was one of her little anti-meat tirades and I was prepared for it. I replied that if it weren't for hot dogs, people would eat more hamburger, or steak, or bacon, and that would mean more animals slaughtered, and all those leftover parts would have to be put somewhere. As I saw it, hot dog eaters were doing their part to cut down on slaughter and keep the landfills free of nasty animal bits. To my surprise, after some thought, she agreed and I was given her blessing to eat all the hot dogs I wanted. I still plan to do so, but they most assuredly will not be made by Oscar Meyer. Looks like I'm heading to the Ball Park.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Welcome To The Nation, Reginald Peterson!
Paris Hilton faking it for president? Who cares. The McCain camp taking her ad seriously enough to respond to it? Boooooring! The U.S. Darth Vader Olympic Cycling team arrives in China? Old news. Cancer cured by witchcraft? We can only hope and wait. Morons all, yes, but we here at the Nation prefer to blow the horns of those few, those stupid few, who dwell in the 98th percentile of incompetence. Like Reginald Peterson, a 42 year old Jacksonville, Florida man who made urgent calls to 911 regarding his improperly made Subway sandwiches.
Yes folks, sandwiches.
Apparently, after paying around $12 for two subs, Peterson became irate with Subway employees who allegedly forgot to put sauce on his subs. After yelling at the hapless wage slaves, Peterson left the store, sans sammiches, to call 911 in order to have police force the Subway employees to make his sandwiches properly. Upon returning, he found the doors locked. The fact that the Subway now had both his money and his subs further incensed Peterson. He again went to call 911, this time complaining that police were not arriving quickly enough. Police finally arrived during Reggie's third 911 call, only to find him beyond the pale of rationality.
While attempting to sort out the Great Florida Sandwich Fraud of 2008, officers also attempted to explain the correct use of the 911 system to Peterson, to no avail. Peterson became belligerent and abusive toward the officers and was finally arrested and booked with making false 911 calls. According to an AP report, Peterson does not have a phone listing, so it's perfectly reasonable that he would be ignorant of the proper use of 911. No word as yet on the condition of the sandwiches.
Yes folks, sandwiches.
Apparently, after paying around $12 for two subs, Peterson became irate with Subway employees who allegedly forgot to put sauce on his subs. After yelling at the hapless wage slaves, Peterson left the store, sans sammiches, to call 911 in order to have police force the Subway employees to make his sandwiches properly. Upon returning, he found the doors locked. The fact that the Subway now had both his money and his subs further incensed Peterson. He again went to call 911, this time complaining that police were not arriving quickly enough. Police finally arrived during Reggie's third 911 call, only to find him beyond the pale of rationality.
While attempting to sort out the Great Florida Sandwich Fraud of 2008, officers also attempted to explain the correct use of the 911 system to Peterson, to no avail. Peterson became belligerent and abusive toward the officers and was finally arrested and booked with making false 911 calls. According to an AP report, Peterson does not have a phone listing, so it's perfectly reasonable that he would be ignorant of the proper use of 911. No word as yet on the condition of the sandwiches.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Microsoft In Deep
In an effort to promote it's image search engine, Live Search, Microsoft has hired Thin Martian, a British web design firm, to run it's Iconic Britain photo 'contest.' The buzz was big and bold, attracting Nikon as a major sponsor and prize provider, and reeling in actors Brian Blessed and Joanna Lumley as well as a Nikon rep and a media mogul as judges. The 'contest' is now in the first judging stage, culling entries down to 500 before the final 100 Iconic Britain photos are revealed.
Except the photographers may be unaware that they have entered the contest.
Using Live Search, 'entrants' are asked to look for images representative of Britain. Phone boxes, Stonehenge, steak and kidney pies, bad teeth, that sort of thing. Then, when they find one they feel best represents Britain, they are instructed to submit it to IB, where, if they are lucky, they may win a Nikon Coolpix camera, or even a Nikon DSLR! And that's where the whole thing spirals into a fiery crash.
I was made aware of this contest at the last minute, before it closed, entered my name, 'M Styborski' and there were six of my photos, six of my copyrighted photos, from Flickr. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I have never visited Britain. The returned photos are rather odd for a Brit-centric contest as well. A local DJ, a local bartender, one of the Holy Cross Steamboat houses, A dirt road in Rodney, Mississippi and two shots of Bobby Jindal.
In response to claims of copyright infringement, Microsoft has stated that all images returned through Live Search are in the Public Domain, however look through some Flickr groups and you will find that this is not the case. All of my images are explicitly marked "© 'respective year' M Styborski, All rights reserved." Yet they show up as eligible for the contest. Not only that, but the Banner on my Flickr profile, created by Big Huge Labs specifically for display only on my profile page shows up. It is not my property, it belongs to BHL.
Further insulting is the fact that some cockney git, (and I use that as a term of endearment,) can submit one of my copyrighted works to a contest in which I am not allowed to participate in, even if I was inclined to do so. And win a nice camera. He gets a prize, Microsoft gets page hits and contact info and I get nothing. Nowhere in the rules does it say anything about compensation for the image owner, or copyright holder, but in subsequent correspondence from Microsoft's legal representative, I have been assured that they will arrange licensing rights to any copyrighted materials chosen.
Of course, they also claim that any copyrighted image which the owner does not wish to be included in the contest will be removed from the voting as long as the owner contacts them and sends a Notice of Infringement. What this boils down to is that once the final 100 Iconic Britain shots are chose, Microsoft will contact the copyright holders, (of which there should be none since all images are supposed to be in the public domain,) but if the owners do not want their images used, they will be removed and replacement images chosen. So essentially the final winners will actually be a lot of second and third choices, meaning the contest itself is moot.
As to the many people out there who seem to think that people like me are worried for no reason, (the ones who say, "It's a search engine, if you don't want people looking at your photos, don't post them on the web,") It's not a search engine. The original site had two search boxes; one which returned images with copyright and EXIF data attached and linkbacks to the original host site, and the "Submit" search which retured only images, stripped of EXIF and linkbacks and renamed by another party.
I have no problem with search engines; that's how people find me. But the minute the search engine returns an image that does not credit me, it's a violation of the law, and without a linkback, it violates Flickrs API agreements. Essentially they are using my work to promote their brand without compensation. That is theft, and I will not stand idly by while another of my human rights disappears.
The following is my correspondence to date with JK Weston, Microsoft's lead copyright lawyer:
Weston's reply:
I love the skillful way Mr Weston's form letter completely misses the point. My response:
Now there are two ways these photos could have been returned in the Live Search search:
1) Microsoft/Iconic Britain/Thin Martian downloaded my images, renamed them and is hosting them without my permission, in which case they are guilty of violating the Flickr API and my copyright.
2) Someone else has posted my photos, stripped of the EXIF data, and Microsoft is simply guilty of having pathetic web gurus who couldn't code a proper If/Then/Goto.
As previously mentioned, the BHL banner seems to point the blame directly at MS/IB/TM since the only place it resides is on my Flickr profile.
Add to this, the fact that according to Pro-imaging, Nikon withdrew all support, including the services of Simon Coleman, General Manager, Imaging Division, Nikon UK Ltd who was to be one of the judges. Nikon says it will still honor it's prize commitments, but that due to overwhelming concerns of copyright violation, it will no longer sponsor the competition.
I still have yet to hear from Thin Martian, the British based web designer, about my images and how they came to be stripped of EXIF data and renamed, but I'll keep you informed when and if I ever hear anything. I have visited their website, and I must say, for a "creative" agency, their site is about one step above some of the more basic 'point-and-click' web design software. Clearly Thin Martian bit off much more than it could chew in this instance. Never send a forty-something design school grad to do a twelve year-old Mac owner's job.
I'm sure that this is just the beginning of the storm. Keep in mind that Microsoft hired lawyers away from the US Copyright Office and set them to fine-tuning the Orphan Works Bill which is designed to strip copyrights from older works whose creators can't be found. (And depending upon individual interpretation, could strip copyrights from almost any Image you have.) I'll keep folks updated as best as I can. Until then, let the photographer beware.
UPDATE:
From Pro-Imaging:
We have since taken steps to obtain copyright? So, they admit that they didn't care about copyright issues in the first place? Their usual high standards? Similar competitions? They intend to do this again? Amazing, http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifbut incredibly typical.
Update!
I have learned that the Iconic Britain "contest" closed two weeks early. Initially there was speculation that this was due to complaints of photographers around the world, but now the buzz is that someone hacked the website code so that instead of randomly picking a prize winner every hour or so, everyone who submitted a photo won. This supposedly went on for several hours before MS/IB/TM found out and closed the "contest." Microsoft is expected to to send "too bad, you lose" e-mails to anyone who "won" a camera during the last few hours of the "contest."
blog.loquax.co.uk/2008/06/28/msns-iconic-britain-competit...
Update!
I have received Microsoft's reply to my last letter:
Form letter? No doubt. Sent by robot? Probably, considering I received it at 8:30 PM, meaning it left London at 2:30 AM. Does it make me feel better? Sort of. While Microsoft accepts responsibility for the search engine not working properly, they maintain that my work was not distributed or used commercially, yet state "and all of the images resulting from random searches have been removed from the site and are no longer available for display." So they did indeed hijack images and store them on the IB site. Where do I go from here? I'll have to ponder this.
For more info on this, here are some sites of interest:
Iconic Britain (no longer searchable)
Thin Martian
Other sites covering the debacle:
Pro-Imaging
WebVivant
Except the photographers may be unaware that they have entered the contest.
Using Live Search, 'entrants' are asked to look for images representative of Britain. Phone boxes, Stonehenge, steak and kidney pies, bad teeth, that sort of thing. Then, when they find one they feel best represents Britain, they are instructed to submit it to IB, where, if they are lucky, they may win a Nikon Coolpix camera, or even a Nikon DSLR! And that's where the whole thing spirals into a fiery crash.
I was made aware of this contest at the last minute, before it closed, entered my name, 'M Styborski' and there were six of my photos, six of my copyrighted photos, from Flickr. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I have never visited Britain. The returned photos are rather odd for a Brit-centric contest as well. A local DJ, a local bartender, one of the Holy Cross Steamboat houses, A dirt road in Rodney, Mississippi and two shots of Bobby Jindal.
In response to claims of copyright infringement, Microsoft has stated that all images returned through Live Search are in the Public Domain, however look through some Flickr groups and you will find that this is not the case. All of my images are explicitly marked "© 'respective year' M Styborski, All rights reserved." Yet they show up as eligible for the contest. Not only that, but the Banner on my Flickr profile, created by Big Huge Labs specifically for display only on my profile page shows up. It is not my property, it belongs to BHL.
Further insulting is the fact that some cockney git, (and I use that as a term of endearment,) can submit one of my copyrighted works to a contest in which I am not allowed to participate in, even if I was inclined to do so. And win a nice camera. He gets a prize, Microsoft gets page hits and contact info and I get nothing. Nowhere in the rules does it say anything about compensation for the image owner, or copyright holder, but in subsequent correspondence from Microsoft's legal representative, I have been assured that they will arrange licensing rights to any copyrighted materials chosen.
Of course, they also claim that any copyrighted image which the owner does not wish to be included in the contest will be removed from the voting as long as the owner contacts them and sends a Notice of Infringement. What this boils down to is that once the final 100 Iconic Britain shots are chose, Microsoft will contact the copyright holders, (of which there should be none since all images are supposed to be in the public domain,) but if the owners do not want their images used, they will be removed and replacement images chosen. So essentially the final winners will actually be a lot of second and third choices, meaning the contest itself is moot.
As to the many people out there who seem to think that people like me are worried for no reason, (the ones who say, "It's a search engine, if you don't want people looking at your photos, don't post them on the web,") It's not a search engine. The original site had two search boxes; one which returned images with copyright and EXIF data attached and linkbacks to the original host site, and the "Submit" search which retured only images, stripped of EXIF and linkbacks and renamed by another party.
I have no problem with search engines; that's how people find me. But the minute the search engine returns an image that does not credit me, it's a violation of the law, and without a linkback, it violates Flickrs API agreements. Essentially they are using my work to promote their brand without compensation. That is theft, and I will not stand idly by while another of my human rights disappears.
The following is my correspondence to date with JK Weston, Microsoft's lead copyright lawyer:
I have recently found out that some of my copyrighted work has appeared on your Iconic Britain contest website. This amazes me because I have never taken a photo in Britain, much less visited. I understand that Microsoft swears all photos returned in the submission search are in the public domain, but this is not the case. Enclosed, please find a screenshot of the works in question. The Escher print is not mine, but the rest are from my Flickr site. Please contact me at your earliest convenience regarding the immediate deletion of my work from your host servers. thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Yours,
M Styborski
Weston's reply:
Dear Mr./Ms. Styborski,
Thank you for your correspondence in relation to this matter.
At Microsoft we take copyright very seriously and endeavour to provide all users of our products with guidance on respecting copyright. However you have informed us that you object to certain of your images being submitted by users and displayed through the competition mechanism and that you do not wish these images to be included in the competition. We appreciate the fact that you have informed us of this situation and want you to be reassured that we will take steps to ensure that each image you have reported to us will not be used again within the competition.
The initial stage of the Iconic Britain competition, in which users submit entries, closes at 1pm on Thursday 31st July, after which we will be compiling all submissions ready for voting prior to the Final 100 reveal on Thursday 14th August. Naturally, we will exclude those images you have notified to us from this voting. Microsoft will obtain the consent of the copyright owner in relation to all images that will be featured on www.iconicbritain.co.uk during the Voting and Reveal stages of the competition.
Sincerely,
J.K. Weston
Legal and Corporate Affairs
Microsoft Corporation USA
I love the skillful way Mr Weston's form letter completely misses the point. My response:
Perhaps I did not make myself clear. My photos have nothing to do with Britain and I did not expect them to be voted on at all. This is not my concern. While I appreciate the form letter, I have read it before from other photographers whose copyright images have been misused by Microsoft's Iconic Britain contest. At the risk of being repetitious, I again ask that you contact me regarding the deletion of my work from your servers. The filenames do not match those on my Flickr site, which leads me to conclude that the works in question have been downloaded and are being illegally hosted by Microsoft and Iconic Britain. If indeed, Microsoft is not responsible for the hosting, I request that you send me the addresses of the sites which your Live Search engine found my works so I can have them removed from those sites. I know for a fact that one image came directly from my Flickr site, as it is a banner from my Flickr profile, created by Big Huge Labs expressly for my use and it has never been posted anywhere else on the internet.
The fact that Live Search returned only six of my 2,663 images on Flickr leads me to believe that Microsoft or Iconic Britain simply fished for a small sampling of interesting photographs in order to have something for the "entrants" to choose from in a hurried, slapdash attempt to market it's search engine. Otherwise, I think that you may have coding problems. Google returns over 7,000 hits for my search of M Styborski. Regardless, the software is not my concern. The misuse of my work is. I thank you for your time and understanding in the quick resolution of this matter.
Now there are two ways these photos could have been returned in the Live Search search:
1) Microsoft/Iconic Britain/Thin Martian downloaded my images, renamed them and is hosting them without my permission, in which case they are guilty of violating the Flickr API and my copyright.
2) Someone else has posted my photos, stripped of the EXIF data, and Microsoft is simply guilty of having pathetic web gurus who couldn't code a proper If/Then/Goto.
As previously mentioned, the BHL banner seems to point the blame directly at MS/IB/TM since the only place it resides is on my Flickr profile.
Add to this, the fact that according to Pro-imaging, Nikon withdrew all support, including the services of Simon Coleman, General Manager, Imaging Division, Nikon UK Ltd who was to be one of the judges. Nikon says it will still honor it's prize commitments, but that due to overwhelming concerns of copyright violation, it will no longer sponsor the competition.
I still have yet to hear from Thin Martian, the British based web designer, about my images and how they came to be stripped of EXIF data and renamed, but I'll keep you informed when and if I ever hear anything. I have visited their website, and I must say, for a "creative" agency, their site is about one step above some of the more basic 'point-and-click' web design software. Clearly Thin Martian bit off much more than it could chew in this instance. Never send a forty-something design school grad to do a twelve year-old Mac owner's job.
I'm sure that this is just the beginning of the storm. Keep in mind that Microsoft hired lawyers away from the US Copyright Office and set them to fine-tuning the Orphan Works Bill which is designed to strip copyrights from older works whose creators can't be found. (And depending upon individual interpretation, could strip copyrights from almost any Image you have.) I'll keep folks updated as best as I can. Until then, let the photographer beware.
UPDATE:
From Pro-Imaging:
Microsoft Corporation Statement
We are grateful to Pro-Imaging for raising its concerns about the use of photographers' works on the Iconic Britain website. Although this was only a short marketing programme, it’s always very important to Microsoft that we respect the intellectual property rights of others. We apologise that we have not lived up to our ordinarily high standards.
We have since taken steps to obtain the rights to use every image to be featured in the subsequent stages of the Iconic Britain competition. We also welcome the invitation by Pro-Imaging to discuss with them best practices when using photographs in similar competitions.
Microsoft Corporation
We have since taken steps to obtain copyright? So, they admit that they didn't care about copyright issues in the first place? Their usual high standards? Similar competitions? They intend to do this again? Amazing, http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifbut incredibly typical.
Update!
I have learned that the Iconic Britain "contest" closed two weeks early. Initially there was speculation that this was due to complaints of photographers around the world, but now the buzz is that someone hacked the website code so that instead of randomly picking a prize winner every hour or so, everyone who submitted a photo won. This supposedly went on for several hours before MS/IB/TM found out and closed the "contest." Microsoft is expected to to send "too bad, you lose" e-mails to anyone who "won" a camera during the last few hours of the "contest."
blog.loquax.co.uk/2008/06/28/msns-iconic-britain-competit...
Update!
I have received Microsoft's reply to my last letter:
Dear Mr./Ms. Styborski,
Thank you for contacting Microsoft regarding http://www.iconicbritain.co.uk and for your follow up comments.
Over the past few days, we have heard from numerous photographers and/or copyright owners. We very much appreciate hearing about your concerns and the opportunity to respond to each of you directly.
The site and associated contest was intended to provide an opportunity, via common search practices, to showcase your work and to have users praise your work by voting it into the contest. In no way was it ever our intention to misappropriate your work, misrepresent its source, or to inappropriately trade on it in any way. Microsoft is a significant holder of intellectual property and we do understand the importance of intellectual property and the need to respect its integrity, whether ours or yours. We take that very seriously and we are genuinely sorry the search feature on the "iconic" site did not live up to our high standards. It was a mistake and we accept full responsibility. We never intended to disrespect you, your works and your rights. Please be assured that your works were never distributed or otherwise used commercially, and all of the images resulting from random searches have been removed from the site and are no longer available for display.
As you know, the voting phase of the contest has been closed . The final phase of the contest, which ends August 14, 2008, will contain only fully licensed images for our users to vote on. If you are interested in participating in this phase, we would appreciate the opportunity to engage in such discussions. Time is of the essence in this regard, so please let us know as soon as possible.
Again, we truly regret the outcome caused by the initial phase of this contest. We hope you will accept our sincere apology and allow us an opportunity to regain your trust.
Sincerely,
J.K. Weston
Legal and Corporate Affairs
Microsoft Corporation, USA
Form letter? No doubt. Sent by robot? Probably, considering I received it at 8:30 PM, meaning it left London at 2:30 AM. Does it make me feel better? Sort of. While Microsoft accepts responsibility for the search engine not working properly, they maintain that my work was not distributed or used commercially, yet state "and all of the images resulting from random searches have been removed from the site and are no longer available for display." So they did indeed hijack images and store them on the IB site. Where do I go from here? I'll have to ponder this.
For more info on this, here are some sites of interest:
Iconic Britain (no longer searchable)
Thin Martian
Other sites covering the debacle:
Pro-Imaging
WebVivant
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