Thursday, September 13, 2007

Humberto Rising

It's Thursday, September 12th, just past nine in the Ante of the Meridiem. As I type, TS/H Humberto is slowly creeping east toward our homes. Already the storm has knocked out power for 100,000 Tejans and reportedly killed one. This bodes not well for our town as the current administration has yet to clear many sewers of Katrina's debris, not to mention the collective trash of the past fifty years. Mark my words, if Humberto doesn't die out in the next six hours, we will soon be swimming in the streets again. Remember, the slower it moves, the longer it dumps on us. This is your Action Weather Pest, signing off for now.

As for the winds, well, I recently had the Army Corps contractors over for a Garden Party and they had a work order different from the estimate given to me by the ACE. The upshot of it is, the tree leaning toward my neighbors house is still leaning toward my neighbors house and the tree whose branches are spreading through the power lines still has its branches spreading through the power lines. As the lead tree guy told me, "I wouldn't worry about those. You haven't had any big storms or hurricanes yet."

Well thanks for your brilliant insight you myopic twat. It's the storms in the future I'm worried about! So far, the City of Kenner, the Parish of Jefferson, the ACE, and Entergy have all picked up little twigs and sticks from the yard, each claiming that they or the ACE would bring these trees down. After the first four months of waiting I brought two down myself, but they were relatively small and not leaning over the neighbors or next to high voltage lines. Two years later and still getting that good old Beauraucratic Runaround. My tax dollars at rest, eh? I wonder how much I'll be able to sue them for if these trees come down during Humberto? I better shove the attorney section of the Yellow Pages in some Tupperware, I may need them!

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